Author Topic: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher  (Read 1537 times)

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Online Nick

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Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« on: March 10, 2009, 11:28:17 AM »
 evil:

Right. ON Tuesday mornings I have to take the Boy to Birkenhead for an hour (medical stuff). I hate Birkenhead. Horrid place. The bit he goes to is quite pleasant - a sort of enclave of civilisation called Oxton. Nice houses, nice village centre with nice shops and restaurants. Pricey. Bit like Hampstead, for those who know Hampstead.

Here: http://www.oxtonvillage.com/

Having time to kill today I wandered about and went into one of the 2 excellent old fashioned local butchers  cloud9: in search of Dinner Tonight. One guy had venison sausages. Home made. I bought them. No carrier bag so I put them in the very large inside poacher's pocket of my old Barbour and wandered on.

Oh look. A cute, wriggly Border Collie puppy tied up outside the baker's  cloud9:. I like dogs  evil: I made its acquaintance. Dogs like me. This one REALLY liked me.

It suddenly dived in its entirety into my poacher's pocket in the manner of a conjuror's rabbit. It went bonkers in there. I was trying to fish it out when its owner appeared and gave me a look (lady look  scared2:). 'What are you doing with my dog?'

'It jumped into my pocket,' I said (unconvincingly. 'I have sausages in there.'

'Well get him out!!!'

Out he came with a maw full of my venison sausage.  evil:

I said, 'Well you may as well keep them' and legged it.

I had my heart set on those so I went back to the butcher and said, 'A pound of venison sausage please' (3.20 a pound ,mark you  evil:)

'Sorry, he said, we don't have many and I just sold the lastlot to... to you'  rubschin:

'They were eaten by a dog,' I explained.

He tried to look sympathetic, so did the spotty youth. But they failed.

They both pissed themselves.

I left  evil:
« Last Edit: March 10, 2009, 12:06:57 PM by Nick »
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Offline Bar Wench

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2009, 11:29:29 AM »
Why on earth would you a pet a puppy when you knew you had sausages about your person!  Banghead

Online Nick

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2009, 11:30:31 AM »
I had not imagined he would get into my coat with such alacrity  evil:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2009, 12:10:43 PM »
Only in Nickworld  happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Online Nick

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2009, 12:21:05 PM »
 evil:
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2009, 12:22:42 PM »
Thanks Nick, l really needed something to laugh at today. lol:
Some days I think the only thing keeping me from becoming homicidal is that the voices can't agree on which weapon would be the most fun.

Online Nick

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2009, 12:24:11 PM »
 evil:
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Offline Bar Wench

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2009, 12:25:57 PM »
I'm still waiting to hear what Growler has to say about spending 20 in sausages!  point:

Online Nick

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2009, 12:26:56 PM »
3.20  evil:

Anyway, Tesco are here soon. With my delivery
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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2009, 12:30:10 PM »
Think youself lucky he didn't go for the chipolata lower down  whistle:

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2009, 12:32:58 PM »
 evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:

You are thinking of someone else, I believe.

And did you ever find your way to The Bull in Ditchling?
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2009, 12:35:18 PM »
evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:

You are thinking of someone else, I believe.

And did you ever find your way to The Bull in Ditchling?


TMR ~ Don't be silly ~ His chipolata and accompanying dangly bits are safely in Mrs Nick's handbag. lol:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2009, 12:36:21 PM »
evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:

You are thinking of someone else, I believe.

And did you ever find your way to The Bull in Ditchling?

Why would I want to go to a pub in Ditchling, when I was attending the horse racing at Plumpton? What a strange fellow...

Online Nick

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #13 on: March 10, 2009, 12:37:54 PM »
 evil:

Chatting to Pastis on SUnday evening  whistle: we discussed the possibilities of folk being kidnapped in Iran/Libya and the like. Mrs Nick gave me a look. But one should not pay ransom to crazed kidnappers, should one?  eveilgrin:

(Manchester to London and then Tripoli: 7.00 a.m Saturday  eveilgrin:)
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Online Nick

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Re: Public humiliation by puppy and butcher
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2009, 12:38:53 PM »
evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:

You are thinking of someone else, I believe.

And did you ever find your way to The Bull in Ditchling?


Why would I want to go to a pub in Ditchling, when I was attending the horse racing at Plumpton? What a strange fellow...


It is about 2 miles away and excellent

http://www.thebullditchling.com/index.html
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