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Author Topic: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread  (Read 4182 times)

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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #30 on: June 20, 2015, 04:56:46 PM »
Break into a restaurant and accidentally lock yourself in the freezer, despite the fact that the walk in ones are designed to be opened from the inside to prevent that happening.  noooo:

I'm sure that when I was younger we had a better (or at least more intelligent) class of burglar.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132594/Burglars-nearly-freeze-death-locking-inside-walk-freezer-raid-Chinese-restaurant-rescued-police.html

Some days I think the only thing keeping me from becoming homicidal is that the voices can't agree on which weapon would be the most fun.

Online apc2010

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #31 on: June 20, 2015, 08:42:47 PM »
Break into a restaurant and accidentally lock yourself in the freezer, despite the fact that the walk in ones are designed to be opened from the inside to prevent that happening.  noooo:

I'm sure that when I was younger we had a better (or at least more intelligent) class of burglar.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132594/Burglars-nearly-freeze-death-locking-inside-walk-freezer-raid-Chinese-restaurant-rescued-police.html


We were..........

Offline Miss Creant

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #32 on: June 21, 2015, 01:07:22 PM »
You steal 15k from your employers and end up making yourself look like a bargain basement drag queen..  noooo:



Quote
Mr Lody said: 'She began working for the company in March 2012 and it wasn't long before she started stealing from her employer. Perhaps she didn't realise how tightly financial systems are controlled.'

Stuart Newsam, for Farier, said: 'This offending is out of character. She didn't consider the consequences of her actions and thoroughly regrets now what she did.'


So are you saying that if the financial systems weren't as tightly controlled it would have been okay to steal the cash?  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html


Quote
...and thoroughly regrets getting caught....


::)


I have to admit to giving the VP collection box a brief shake occasionally, it's empty, it never rustles of clinks.  When I plucked up enough courage to shove my hands down the back of the sofas in here all I came away with were stale crisp crumbs under me nails, well, I think they were crisp crumbs.............., rubschin:

Online Nick

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #33 on: June 21, 2015, 01:12:53 PM »
It's what you do if you are callled SHanice  noooo:
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Offline boogs

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #34 on: June 21, 2015, 04:21:24 PM »
You steal 15k from your employers and end up making yourself look like a bargain basement drag queen..  noooo:



Quote
Mr Lody said: 'She began working for the company in March 2012 and it wasn't long before she started stealing from her employer. Perhaps she didn't realise how tightly financial systems are controlled.'

Stuart Newsam, for Farier, said: 'This offending is out of character. She didn't consider the consequences of her actions and thoroughly regrets now what she did.'


So are you saying that if the financial systems weren't as tightly controlled it would have been okay to steal the cash?  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html


Quote
...and thoroughly regrets getting caught....


::)


I have to admit to giving the VP collection box a brief shake occasionally, it's empty, it never rustles of clinks.  When I plucked up enough courage to shove my hands down the back of the sofas in here all I came away with were stale crisp crumbs under me nails, well, I think they were crisp crumbs.............., rubschin:


 sick2: sick2: Oh dear Miss C please be careful to sanitise your hands , saw Nick with his leg up on the sofa by the fireplace the other day  noooo: scared2: scared2:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .



Offline Grumpmeister

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Some days I think the only thing keeping me from becoming homicidal is that the voices can't agree on which weapon would be the most fun.

Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #38 on: September 17, 2015, 05:37:36 PM »
That van belongs to the bastard that sacked me, I'm going to torch it..............oops forgot I was wearing flammable clothing.  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3238763/CCTV-footage-shows-moment-drunk-arsonist-set-fire-tried-torch-Transit-van-revenge-attack-former-boss.html
Some days I think the only thing keeping me from becoming homicidal is that the voices can't agree on which weapon would be the most fun.

Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #39 on: October 05, 2015, 10:23:33 PM »
I guess you could say that these two thieves really do have shit for brains..  lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths
Some days I think the only thing keeping me from becoming homicidal is that the voices can't agree on which weapon would be the most fun.

Offline Steve

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #40 on: October 05, 2015, 10:37:01 PM »
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #41 on: October 05, 2015, 11:36:34 PM »
I guess you could say that these two thieves really do have shit for brains..  lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths

facepalm:


I could have said they were shit out of luck instead...  redface:
Some days I think the only thing keeping me from becoming homicidal is that the voices can't agree on which weapon would be the most fun.

Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #42 on: October 09, 2015, 12:04:11 AM »
The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html
Some days I think the only thing keeping me from becoming homicidal is that the voices can't agree on which weapon would be the most fun.

Offline Barman

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #43 on: October 09, 2015, 05:41:51 AM »
The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html


Excerent!  razz:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

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Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #44 on: October 09, 2015, 11:35:51 AM »
The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html


Excerent!  razz:
;D ;D ;D

Shame though that the women got injured, he should have got another 4 years for that
Well, whatever nevermind