The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Steve on February 03, 2019, 03:20:46 PM

Title: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 03, 2019, 03:20:46 PM
An early entry

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-47107609 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-47107609)

'A World War One-era German hand grenade has been found among a delivery of potatoes shipped from France to a crisp factory in Hong Kong, police say . . .
 . . .
The bombe de terre was safely detonated on site by bomb disposal officers.'


:facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on January 19, 2020, 01:23:36 PM
(https://scontent-cdg2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/83171325_827252167792852_8439368990110777344_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_oc=AQlwMG9zxWIxuTJ4nXZgUEsAbtCLzKtP8ZPDi2LXgJ5KlyzIXLSZlVqDrmMh3PzTHOI&_nc_ht=scontent-cdg2-1.xx&oh=5eef2034fbc9fe43989013e2ed81df31&oe=5ECE4EF1)
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on January 19, 2020, 01:30:18 PM
(https://scontent-cdg2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/83171325_827252167792852_8439368990110777344_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_oc=AQlwMG9zxWIxuTJ4nXZgUEsAbtCLzKtP8ZPDi2LXgJ5KlyzIXLSZlVqDrmMh3PzTHOI&_nc_ht=scontent-cdg2-1.xx&oh=5eef2034fbc9fe43989013e2ed81df31&oe=5ECE4EF1)

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on January 29, 2020, 06:00:01 PM
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/p960x960/83535457_1526111290870502_8151836193957347328_o.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_oc=AQnzISYfQWUyu4HW8ufG91ZWydeirUjwLGe9rlgK7m_iXQy9qA2S-Hrz77lSdJK_-1g&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=558f4884f9d575ad32cf64d5e9f40a1a&oe=5E9530DF)

get coat time
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on January 29, 2020, 06:00:45 PM
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/p960x960/83535457_1526111290870502_8151836193957347328_o.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_oc=AQnzISYfQWUyu4HW8ufG91ZWydeirUjwLGe9rlgK7m_iXQy9qA2S-Hrz77lSdJK_-1g&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=558f4884f9d575ad32cf64d5e9f40a1a&oe=5E9530DF)

get coat time

 ;D Thumbs: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2020, 07:07:01 PM
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/p960x960/83535457_1526111290870502_8151836193957347328_o.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_oc=AQnzISYfQWUyu4HW8ufG91ZWydeirUjwLGe9rlgK7m_iXQy9qA2S-Hrz77lSdJK_-1g&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=558f4884f9d575ad32cf64d5e9f40a1a&oe=5E9530DF)

get coat time

 ;D Thumbs: redface:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 30, 2020, 02:24:09 PM
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/p960x960/83535457_1526111290870502_8151836193957347328_o.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_oc=AQnzISYfQWUyu4HW8ufG91ZWydeirUjwLGe9rlgK7m_iXQy9qA2S-Hrz77lSdJK_-1g&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=558f4884f9d575ad32cf64d5e9f40a1a&oe=5E9530DF)

get coat time

 ;D Thumbs: redface:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2020, 07:03:04 PM
AN udder wrong spelling of "immediately"  cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on January 30, 2020, 10:08:16 PM
AN udder wrong spelling of "immediately"  cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 10, 2020, 07:26:43 PM
Why is it you never come across porn stars in real life .......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 10, 2020, 07:30:10 PM
Why is it you never come across porn stars in real life .......... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol: redface:

True story: My nephew had a relationship with one... He said the sex was fantastic but in the end he couldn't cope with the thought of her fucking other blokes all day...  noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 10, 2020, 07:35:47 PM
Why is it you never come across porn stars in real life .......... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol: redface:

True story: My nephew had a relationship with one... He said the sex was fantastic but in the end he couldn't cope with the thought of her fucking other blokes all day...  noooo:

Was gonna say .."Must be hard" ...but .... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 10, 2020, 07:39:08 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 14, 2020, 04:19:30 PM
If I had to describe myself in three words,...........




I would say "Not very good at maths".............. redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 14, 2020, 04:20:25 PM
If I had to describe myself in three words,...........




I would say "Not very good at maths".............. redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 14, 2020, 07:19:03 PM
If I had to describe myself in three words,...........




I would say "Not very good at maths".............. redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 19, 2020, 10:48:28 PM
Whatís the difference between ignorance and apathy?..................... rubschin:





I donít know and I donít care................ Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 19, 2020, 11:26:28 PM
Errr not a pun and an Affs   noooo:

https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=8111.msg651572#msg651572
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 20, 2020, 06:39:09 AM
I always think this is going to be about strawberries....  redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 20, 2020, 07:34:22 PM
I always think this is going to be about strawberries....  redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 20, 2020, 09:47:48 PM
I always think this is going to be about strawberries....  redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 24, 2020, 10:25:43 PM
How they make Mufflers baffles me......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 25, 2020, 08:52:58 AM
How they make Mufflers baffles me......... rubschin:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on February 25, 2020, 09:27:43 AM
How they make Mufflers baffles me......... rubschin:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:

drumroll:drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 25, 2020, 09:28:12 PM
How they make Mufflers baffles me......... rubschin:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:

drumroll:drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 25, 2020, 11:26:21 PM
How they make Mufflers baffles me......... rubschin:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:

drumroll:drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 27, 2020, 12:12:33 AM
A Termite walks into a bar ....

"Is the Bar tender here "..???


 redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 27, 2020, 12:35:48 AM
A Termite walks into a bar ....

"Is the Bar tender here "..???


 redface: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 27, 2020, 05:14:00 AM
A Termite walks into a bar ....

"Is the Bar tender here "..???


 redface: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 27, 2020, 08:20:08 PM
A Termite walks into a bar ....

"Is the Bar tender here "..???


 redface: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2020, 11:04:43 AM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2020, 11:21:49 AM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2020, 11:41:07 AM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.

facepalm:
angel1  not feeling eel after that are we
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 12, 2020, 05:09:23 PM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.

facepalm:
angel1  not feeling eel after that are we

Don't start carping on Steve  noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2020, 06:07:27 PM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.

facepalm:
angel1  not feeling eel after that are we

Don't start carping on Steve  noooo:
OK then best end this French style

Fin
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2020, 06:11:37 PM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.

facepalm:
angel1  not feeling eel after that are we

Don't start carping on Steve  noooo:
OK then best end this French style

Fin

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 20, 2020, 01:13:49 PM
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're.
There so stupid.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 20, 2020, 01:20:12 PM
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're.
There so stupid.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 20, 2020, 08:01:04 PM
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're.
There so stupid.

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 22, 2020, 05:44:51 PM
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're.
There so stupid.

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 23, 2020, 10:53:14 PM
Jokes about sugar are rare...........

Jokes about brown sugar...............


Demerara................... Thumbs:



Beat that .....
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 23, 2020, 10:54:59 PM
Jokes about sugar are rare...........

Jokes about brown sugar...............


Demerara................... Thumbs:



Beat that .....
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 23, 2020, 11:00:06 PM
The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 23, 2020, 11:04:05 PM
The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 23, 2020, 11:24:25 PM
The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 24, 2020, 06:54:22 AM
The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 10:25:20 AM
Meatloaf was so named because of his incredible likeness to his father, Meatlo.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 10:39:22 AM
(In a French restaurant)

"Excuse me, can we see the menu please?"

"Mais oui"

"Oh, sorry. May we see the menu please"
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 24, 2020, 10:51:20 AM
(In a French restaurant)

"Excuse me, can we see the menu please?"

"Mais oui"

"Oh, sorry. May we see the menu please"

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 24, 2020, 07:59:31 PM
(In a French restaurant)

"Excuse me, can we see the menu please?"

"Mais oui"

"Oh, sorry. May we see the menu please"

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 08:04:33 PM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 24, 2020, 08:05:22 PM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 08:49:39 PM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 24, 2020, 09:01:48 PM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 09:14:15 PM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?

 rubschin:

Meatlo as fuck... = Meatloaf.

Perhaps only we younger ones got it...

 whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 24, 2020, 09:40:56 PM
 tunble:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 24, 2020, 09:41:42 PM
(In a French restaurant)

"Excuse me, can we see the menu please?"

"Mais oui"

"Oh, sorry. May we see the menu please"

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 10:07:34 PM
tunble:

Disappointed in you  noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 25, 2020, 06:38:43 AM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?

 rubschin:

Meatlo as fuck... = Meatloaf.

Perhaps only we younger ones got it...

 whistle:

oh...
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 25, 2020, 08:58:45 AM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?

 rubschin:

Meatlo as fuck... = Meatloaf.

Perhaps only we younger ones got it...

 whistle:

oh...
Your levity is wel restrained.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 25, 2020, 09:03:15 AM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?

 rubschin:

Meatlo as fuck... = Meatloaf.

Perhaps only we younger ones got it...

 whistle:

oh...
Your levity is wel restrained.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 25, 2020, 05:49:02 PM
R.I.P boiled water.

You will be mist.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 25, 2020, 06:56:04 PM
R.I.P boiled water.

You will be mist.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 25, 2020, 11:05:37 PM
R.I.P boiled water.

You will be mist.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 26, 2020, 02:05:02 PM
What do you call a really shit Magician .................. rubschin:




Ian.............. Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 26, 2020, 02:44:13 PM
What do you call a really shit Magician .................. rubschin:




Ian.............. Thumbs:
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 26, 2020, 02:55:10 PM
What do you call a really shit Magician .................. rubschin:




Ian.............. Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 26, 2020, 03:22:27 PM
What do you call a really shit Magician .................. rubschin:




Ian.............. Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 26, 2020, 06:11:21 PM
What do you call a really shit Magician .................. rubschin:




Ian.............. Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:

drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 27, 2020, 02:09:35 PM
(credit/blame a radio 2 listener the other day)

I spent the afternoon sorting out my cupboard and fridge.  Every tin, jar, bottle and packet is now at least 20cm from each other.  Yes I'm practicing shelf isolation
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 27, 2020, 02:11:26 PM
(credit/blame a radio 2 listener the other day)

I spent the afternoon sorting out my cupboard and fridge.  Every tin, jar, bottle and packet is now at least 20cm from each other.  Yes I'm practicing shelf isolation

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 27, 2020, 02:15:15 PM
(credit/blame a radio 2 listener the other day)

I spent the afternoon sorting out my cupboard and fridge.  Every tin, jar, bottle and packet is now at least 20cm from each other.  Yes I'm practicing shelf isolation

 lol: lol: lol:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 27, 2020, 06:07:37 PM
(credit/blame a radio 2 listener the other day)

I spent the afternoon sorting out my cupboard and fridge.  Every tin, jar, bottle and packet is now at least 20cm from each other.  Yes I'm practicing shelf isolation

 lol: lol: lol:

 drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 27, 2020, 06:34:57 PM
(credit/blame a radio 2 listener the other day)

I spent the afternoon sorting out my cupboard and fridge.  Every tin, jar, bottle and packet is now at least 20cm from each other.  Yes I'm practicing shelf isolation

 lol: lol: lol:

 drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 28, 2020, 01:00:54 PM
A photon turns up at check in for a flight with no baggage.
The check in agent says ďtravelling light?Ē
He says ďYes, I am.Ē
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 28, 2020, 02:09:10 PM
A photon turns up at check in for a flight with no baggage.
The check in agent says ďtravelling light?Ē
He says ďYes, I am.Ē

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 28, 2020, 06:07:50 PM
I got the sack from my job as a air traffic controller because my manager said I had a bad altitude problem.......... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 28, 2020, 07:00:12 PM
I got the sack from my job as a air traffic controller because my manager said I had a bad altitude problem.......... redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 29, 2020, 07:50:47 AM
I got the sack from my job as a air traffic controller because my manager said I had a bad altitude problem.......... redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 29, 2020, 08:33:44 AM
A photon turns up at check in for a flight with no baggage.
The check in agent says ďtravelling light?Ē
He says ďYes, I am.Ē

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 29, 2020, 12:02:08 PM
If you think these science jokes are all too old, Iíll take them out and BariumÖ.
but once theyíre gone they ArgonÖ
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 29, 2020, 12:12:29 PM
If you think these science jokes are all too old, Iíll take them out and BariumÖ.
but once theyíre gone they ArgonÖ

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Nick on March 30, 2020, 05:41:23 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP/herbs.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP)
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 30, 2020, 05:47:52 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP/herbs.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP)

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 30, 2020, 07:17:53 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP/herbs.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP)

facepalm:

 lol:  lol:  lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 30, 2020, 10:39:06 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP/herbs.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP)

facepalm:

 lol:  lol:  lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 30, 2020, 10:57:11 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP/herbs.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP)

facepalm:

 lol:  lol:  lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
  lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 01, 2020, 11:00:24 AM
Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 01, 2020, 11:27:30 AM
Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?

 lol: lol: lol:  rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on April 01, 2020, 06:37:53 PM
Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?

 lol: lol: lol:  rubschin:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 02, 2020, 08:43:29 AM
Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?

 lol: lol: lol:  rubschin:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 19, 2020, 01:12:13 PM
 I've run out of toilet paper and started to use old newspapers instead.

The Times are rough.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 19, 2020, 01:22:08 PM
I've run out of toilet paper and started to use old newspapers instead.

The Times are rough.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on April 19, 2020, 03:44:13 PM
I've run out of toilet paper and started to use old newspapers instead.

The Times are rough.

 lol: lol: lol:

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 19, 2020, 04:26:00 PM
Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying four crates of San Miguel, five Paellas, and three sombreros.
I thought to myself,
Hispanic buying.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on April 19, 2020, 05:12:12 PM
Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying four crates of San Miguel, five Paellas, and three sombreros.
I thought to myself,
Hispanic buying.

 lol:  lol:  lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on April 19, 2020, 05:37:55 PM
Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying four crates of San Miguel, five Paellas, and three sombreros.
I thought to myself,
Hispanic buying.

 ;D ;D ;D Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 19, 2020, 10:15:57 PM
Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying four crates of San Miguel, five Paellas, and three sombreros.
I thought to myself,
Hispanic buying.

 ;D ;D ;D Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 20, 2020, 06:09:46 AM
Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying four crates of San Miguel, five Paellas, and three sombreros.
I thought to myself,
Hispanic buying.

 ;D ;D ;D Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 26, 2020, 08:43:10 PM
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 27, 2020, 12:03:31 PM
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on April 27, 2020, 07:27:41 PM
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 27, 2020, 09:34:41 PM
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 30, 2020, 11:35:11 AM
Took my dog for a walk through the cemetery yesterday.
A bloke was coming the other way with his dog.
He said "morning. "
I said "no I'm just walking my dog."
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 30, 2020, 01:02:09 PM
Took my dog for a walk through the cemetery yesterday.
A bloke was coming the other way with his dog.
He said "morning. "
I said "no I'm just walking my dog."

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 01, 2020, 06:13:07 AM
Took my dog for a walk through the cemetery yesterday.
A bloke was coming the other way with his dog.
He said "morning. "
I said "no I'm just walking my dog."

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 01, 2020, 11:43:11 AM
Took my dog for a walk through the cemetery yesterday.
A bloke was coming the other way with his dog.
He said "morning. "
I said "no I'm just walking my dog."

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 05, 2020, 04:07:04 PM
What do we want?..........

Race car noises................!!!

When do we want them.........................?

Neeeooowwwww............................. redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 05, 2020, 06:47:40 PM
What do we want?..........

Race car noises................!!!

When do we want them.........................?

Neeeooowwwww............................. redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 05, 2020, 06:54:36 PM
What do we want?..........

Race car noises................!!!

When do we want them.........................?

Neeeooowwwww............................. redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 11, 2020, 10:16:32 PM
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.......

We took the A4....


 noooo: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 11, 2020, 10:51:07 PM
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.......

We took the A4....


 noooo: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2020, 03:54:04 AM
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.......

We took the A4....


 noooo: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 12, 2020, 06:22:09 AM
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.......

We took the A4....


 noooo: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 12, 2020, 11:37:31 AM
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.......

We took the A4....


 noooo: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 13, 2020, 11:36:55 AM
Iím so glad Garden centres are open,
 Iíve been living on borrowed Thyme
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2020, 11:42:20 AM
Iím so glad Garden centres are open,
 Iíve been living on borrowed Thyme

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 13, 2020, 05:16:33 PM
Iím so glad Garden centres are open,
 Iíve been living on borrowed Thyme

 lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 14, 2020, 11:20:34 AM
Went for a walk this morning and saw this RAC patrol man crying his eyes out in his van.

Thought to myself he's heading for a breakdown.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2020, 11:57:56 AM
Went for a walk this morning and saw this RAC patrol man crying his eyes out in his van.

Thought to myself he's heading for a breakdown.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 14, 2020, 01:52:59 PM
Went for a walk this morning and saw this RAC patrol man crying his eyes out in his van.

Thought to myself he's heading for a breakdown.

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 14, 2020, 01:57:41 PM
Went for a walk this morning and saw this RAC patrol man crying his eyes out in his van.

Thought to myself he's heading for a breakdown.

 lol: lol: lol:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:  lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 14, 2020, 07:58:11 PM
Went for a walk this morning and saw this RAC patrol man crying his eyes out in his van.

Thought to myself he's heading for a breakdown.

 lol: lol: lol:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:  lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 22, 2020, 06:02:05 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)


Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 22, 2020, 06:33:33 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

happy001
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 22, 2020, 07:47:56 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 22, 2020, 07:58:06 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

 ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 22, 2020, 09:17:40 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

 ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 22, 2020, 09:41:07 PM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

 ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:

Best thing I've seen for a long tme  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 23, 2020, 06:06:37 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

 ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:

Best thing I've seen for a long tme  :thumbsup:

 sad24:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 25, 2020, 03:28:25 PM
Where do you weigh pies.................???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Somewhere over the rainbow....................... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 26, 2020, 08:51:13 AM
Where do you weigh pies.................???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Somewhere over the rainbow....................... redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 26, 2020, 09:17:06 AM
Where do you weigh pies.................???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Somewhere over the rainbow....................... redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

and  redface: just wasn't getting that one so asked Mrs K who took about 5 seconds
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 26, 2020, 10:38:10 AM
I have a problem, Iím addicted to seaweed.


Iím seeking kelp
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 26, 2020, 10:48:19 AM
I have a problem, Iím addicted to seaweed.


Iím seeking kelp

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 26, 2020, 11:36:54 AM
Where do you weigh pies.................???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Somewhere over the rainbow....................... redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

and  redface: just wasn't getting that one so asked Mrs K who took about 5 seconds
It was easier in the original version.
"Where do you go to weigh a pie"
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 26, 2020, 05:50:50 PM
Where do you weigh pies.................???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Somewhere over the rainbow....................... redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

and  redface: just wasn't getting that one so asked Mrs K who took about 5 seconds
It was easier in the original version.
"Where do you go to weigh a pie"
  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 27, 2020, 05:46:04 PM
 I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. Heís done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 27, 2020, 05:59:50 PM
I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. Heís done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:
He has had a rough time since Barbara died.  noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 27, 2020, 06:12:34 PM
I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. Heís done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:
He has had a rough time since Barbara died.  noooo:

That was Roy ...... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Nick on May 27, 2020, 07:10:00 PM
Tap dancing while playing the trumpet!! We need more people like that  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 27, 2020, 10:21:08 PM
I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. Heís done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:
He has had a rough time since Barbara died.  noooo:

That was Roy ...... rubschin:
They all look the same to me.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 27, 2020, 10:26:07 PM
I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. Heís done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:

Funny you should mention that...

https://metro.co.uk/2020/05/27/man-called-bernard-castle-has-fun-twitter-12765358/

Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 27, 2020, 10:44:04 PM
I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. Heís done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:

Funny you should mention that...

https://metro.co.uk/2020/05/27/man-called-bernard-castle-has-fun-twitter-12765358/


lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 27, 2020, 10:54:35 PM
If anyone's free there's a lockdown innuendo competition taking place tomorrow night.

I've entered myself twice.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 27, 2020, 11:16:57 PM
If anyone's free there's a lockdown innuendo competition taking place tomorrow night.

I've entered myself twice.
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2020, 05:04:39 AM
If anyone's free there's a lockdown innuendo competition taking place tomorrow night.

I've entered myself twice.
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 28, 2020, 08:22:11 AM
If anyone's free there's a lockdown innuendo competition taking place tomorrow night.

I've entered myself twice.
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 28, 2020, 08:40:44 AM
If anyone's free there's a lockdown innuendo competition taking place tomorrow night.

I've entered myself twice.
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 28, 2020, 11:55:30 AM
I've bought a face mask for my pet duck.
It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 28, 2020, 12:26:51 PM
Ironman is a Fe male ............. rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2020, 12:34:10 PM
I've bought a face mask for my pet duck.
It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill

 lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 28, 2020, 12:41:53 PM
Ironman is a Fe male ............. rubschin:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 28, 2020, 08:43:21 PM
I've bought a face mask for my pet duck.
It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill

 lol:  lol:  lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 29, 2020, 12:41:56 PM
I bought a pen that writes underwater ........ Thumbs:



It writes other words too ......... Thumbs:




Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 29, 2020, 12:56:32 PM
I bought a pen that writes underwater ........ Thumbs:



It writes other words too ......... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:

Can it write 'upside down'...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 29, 2020, 04:36:59 PM
I bought a pen that writes underwater ........ Thumbs:



It writes other words too ......... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:

Can it write 'upside down'...?  rubschin:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 01, 2020, 08:43:56 AM
(got to be an Affs but sod it)


A lorry carrying 10 Ton of Vicks vapour rub has overturned.
Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 12 hours !
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 01, 2020, 08:44:38 AM
(got to be an Affs but sod it)


A lorry carrying 10 Ton of Vicks vapour rub has overturned.
Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 12 hours !

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 01, 2020, 08:45:43 PM
(got to be an Affs but sod it)


A lorry carrying 10 Ton of Vicks vapour rub has overturned.
Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 12 hours !

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 04, 2020, 04:44:09 PM
I was at the hardware store and asked the man "What gets rid of grime and stains?"

He said "Ammonia cleaner."..........






I replied "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."........... whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2020, 04:49:22 PM
I was at the hardware store and asked the man "What gets rid of grime and stains?"

He said "Ammonia cleaner."..........






I replied "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."........... whistle:

happy001
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 04, 2020, 05:29:57 PM
I was at the hardware store and asked the man "What gets rid of grime and stains?"

He said "Ammonia cleaner."..........






I replied "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."........... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 04, 2020, 07:36:05 PM
I was at the hardware store and asked the man "What gets rid of grime and stains?"

He said "Ammonia cleaner."..........






I replied "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."........... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 05, 2020, 02:04:58 PM
I was at the hardware store and asked the man "What gets rid of grime and stains?"

He said "Ammonia cleaner."..........






I replied "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."........... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 05, 2020, 07:48:30 PM
My mateís wife has threatened to leave him because of his obsession with collecting World War 1 artillery...........





ďI canít see Howitzer problem,Ē he said.......... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 05, 2020, 08:07:14 PM
My mateís wife has threatened to leave him because of his obsession with collecting World War 1 artillery...........





ďI canít see Howitzer problem,Ē he said.......... redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 05, 2020, 11:33:41 PM
Admin note..

To the person that submitted the "how do you keep an idiot in suspense" joke...
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2020, 04:03:30 AM
Admin note..

To the person that submitted the "how do you keep an idiot in suspense" joke...

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 06, 2020, 06:45:39 AM
Admin note..

To the person that submitted the "how do you keep an idiot in suspense" joke...
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 06, 2020, 05:22:31 PM
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank............

The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O".......... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2020, 05:57:03 PM
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank............

The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O".......... Thumbs:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 06, 2020, 06:13:38 PM
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank............

The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O".......... Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 06, 2020, 06:29:48 PM
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank............

The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O".......... Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 07, 2020, 12:05:27 AM
I have 24 separate loyalty cards, which seems wrong.//
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 07, 2020, 05:39:12 AM
I have 24 separate loyalty cards, which seems wrong.//

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 07, 2020, 06:22:40 AM
I have 24 separate loyalty cards, which seems wrong.//

 ;D

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 07, 2020, 07:45:09 AM
I have 24 separate loyalty cards, which seems wrong.//

 ;D

 ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 07, 2020, 11:00:43 AM
I have 24 separate loyalty cards, which seems wrong.//

 ;D

 ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol:
  lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 07, 2020, 11:01:16 AM
I always call them disloyalty cards.  Mrs K has tons of the bloody things
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 07, 2020, 09:08:49 PM
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment............. rubschin:

Ten ............ Thumbs:.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 07, 2020, 10:10:10 PM
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment............. rubschin:

Ten ............ Thumbs:.
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 07, 2020, 10:13:01 PM
If anyone wants a copy of Osteopath Monthly I have plenty of back issues
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 07, 2020, 10:14:49 PM
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment............. rubschin:

Ten ............ Thumbs:.
drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll: (It took me a while)
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2020, 04:51:11 AM
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment............. rubschin:

Ten ............ Thumbs:.
drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2020, 04:51:38 AM
If anyone wants a copy of Osteopath Monthly I have plenty of back issues
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 08, 2020, 08:22:24 AM
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment............. rubschin:

Ten ............ Thumbs:.
drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 08, 2020, 08:22:48 AM
If anyone wants a copy of Osteopath Monthly I have plenty of back issues
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 08, 2020, 08:24:53 AM
If anyone wants a copy of Osteopath Monthly I have plenty of back issues
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2020, 01:30:21 PM
Why all the fuss over black olives ...... rubschin:  surely all olives matter ... noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2020, 01:34:02 PM
Why all the fuss over black olives ...... rubschin:  surely all olives matter ... noooo:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 08, 2020, 01:49:09 PM
Why all the fuss over black olives ...... rubschin:  surely all olives matter ... noooo:

facepalm:
doublefacepalm
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 08, 2020, 03:24:14 PM
My ears were playing up so I phoned the tinnitus hotline.

It just kept ringing.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2020, 04:37:14 PM
My ears were playing up so I phoned the tinnitus hotline.

It just kept ringing.

 ;D Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 08, 2020, 09:05:09 PM
My ears were playing up so I phoned the tinnitus hotline.

It just kept ringing.

 ;D Thumbs:

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2020, 09:39:53 PM
A cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse with baited breath........... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2020, 10:29:01 PM
My wife tried to talk me into wearing a napped leather shoes instead of my usual smooth ones but I wasnít suede............ redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 09, 2020, 04:02:29 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 09, 2020, 06:18:14 AM
My wife tried to talk me into wearing a napped leather shoes instead of my usual smooth ones but I wasnít suede............ redface:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 09, 2020, 09:11:32 AM
My wife tried to talk me into wearing a napped leather shoes instead of my usual smooth ones but I wasnít suede............ redface:

 lol: lol:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 09, 2020, 05:26:25 PM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just werenít on the same wavelength........ whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 09, 2020, 06:10:57 PM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just werenít on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 09, 2020, 07:17:53 PM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just werenít on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 09, 2020, 07:20:17 PM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just werenít on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:

Wonder if she gave a short wave goodbye ......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 09, 2020, 08:07:11 PM
 lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 10, 2020, 04:06:04 AM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just werenít on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:

Wonder if she gave a short wave goodbye ......... rubschin:

Everybody hertz...  sad24:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 10, 2020, 11:53:25 AM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just werenít on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:

Wonder if she gave a short wave goodbye ......... rubschin:

Everybody hertz...  sad24:
  lol:

Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 10, 2020, 05:16:17 PM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just werenít on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:

Wonder if she gave a short wave goodbye ......... rubschin:

Everybody hertz...  sad24:
  lol:

 lol: Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 10, 2020, 10:09:39 PM
Battery chargers are revolting ............ noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 10, 2020, 11:08:56 PM
Battery chargers are revolting ............ noooo:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 11, 2020, 04:17:40 AM
Battery chargers are revolting ............ noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 14, 2020, 06:08:19 PM
I got drunk and ended up at a auction once...

I don't remember a lot........ redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 14, 2020, 06:59:07 PM
I got drunk and ended up at a auction once...

I don't remember a lot........ redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 15, 2020, 05:44:22 AM
I got drunk and ended up at a auction once...

I don't remember a lot........ redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 15, 2020, 10:55:52 PM
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether....... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 16, 2020, 07:08:47 AM
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether....... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 16, 2020, 04:47:37 PM
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether....... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 16, 2020, 10:06:33 PM
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether....... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 17, 2020, 06:48:03 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 17, 2020, 07:44:22 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 17, 2020, 07:58:19 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 18, 2020, 04:45:40 AM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 18, 2020, 09:01:59 AM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 18, 2020, 04:14:00 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

BTW that was Yesterday ...... whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 18, 2020, 04:19:03 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

BTW that was Yesterday ...... whistle:
;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 18, 2020, 04:44:34 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

BTW that was Yesterday ...... whistle:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 18, 2020, 09:02:49 PM
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.......... Thumbs:

There are only two of us on the production line...







So I have to make every second Count............ redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 18, 2020, 09:11:35 PM
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.......... Thumbs:

There are only two of us on the production line...







So I have to make every second Count............ redface:
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 18, 2020, 09:40:36 PM
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.......... Thumbs:

There are only two of us on the production line...







So I have to make every second Count............ redface:
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 19, 2020, 03:59:37 AM
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.......... Thumbs:

There are only two of us on the production line...







So I have to make every second Count............ redface:
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 19, 2020, 08:58:58 PM
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.......... Thumbs:

There are only two of us on the production line...







So I have to make every second Count............ redface:
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 21, 2020, 12:49:37 AM
I bought 4 kindles from Amazon..............




and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 21, 2020, 03:45:36 AM
I bought 4 kindles from Amazon..............




and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.......... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 21, 2020, 10:03:49 AM
I bought 4 kindles from Amazon..............




and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.......... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 21, 2020, 07:52:53 PM
Told my doctor I had a problem with my left ear ..

"are you sure ? "......



Yes I am definite "............ Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 21, 2020, 08:48:53 PM
Told my doctor I had a problem with my left ear ..

"are you sure ? "......



Yes I am definite "............ Thumbs:
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 21, 2020, 08:59:02 PM
Told my doctor I had a problem with my left ear ..

"are you sure ? "......



Yes I am definite "............ Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 21, 2020, 08:59:23 PM
took me a minute (or three)  redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 21, 2020, 09:36:19 PM
Told my doctor I had a problem with my left ear ..

"are you sure ? "......



Yes I am definite "............ Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 22, 2020, 03:42:26 AM
Told my doctor I had a problem with my left ear ..

"are you sure ? "......



Yes I am definite "............ Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 22, 2020, 06:41:37 AM
Donít get me started on people stealing clothes off washing lines. Been there done it and got the T-shirt.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 22, 2020, 06:57:15 AM
Donít get me started on people stealing clothes off washing lines. Been there done it and got the T-shirt.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 22, 2020, 08:15:48 AM
Donít get me started on people stealing clothes off washing lines. Been there done it and got the T-shirt.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 22, 2020, 02:47:34 PM
Donít get me started on people stealing clothes off washing lines. Been there done it and got the T-shirt.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 22, 2020, 05:22:30 PM
Donít get me started on people stealing clothes off washing lines. Been there done it and got the T-shirt.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:

 ;D ;D ;D Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 22, 2020, 07:35:12 PM
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize........... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 22, 2020, 08:21:01 PM
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize........... Thumbs:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 23, 2020, 04:10:19 AM
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize........... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 24, 2020, 06:27:51 AM
A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar..........

The barman says, "I'm serving Narnia!".......... whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2020, 06:36:07 AM
A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar..........

The barman says, "I'm serving Narnia!".......... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 24, 2020, 09:48:10 AM
A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar..........

The barman says, "I'm serving Narnia!".......... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 24, 2020, 10:57:10 AM
Dad, are we pyromaniacs...... rubschin:


Yes, we arson............. redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 24, 2020, 11:09:51 AM
Dad, are we pyromaniacs...... rubschin:


Yes, we arson............. redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2020, 12:45:03 PM
Dad, are we pyromaniacs...... rubschin:


Yes, we arson............. redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 24, 2020, 06:50:16 PM
Did you know the actor Yul Brynner was a lifelong Liverpool fan,and never wore aftershave?

That's right, Yul never wore cologne
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 25, 2020, 05:35:15 AM
Did you know the actor Yul Brynner was a lifelong Liverpool fan,and never wore aftershave?

That's right, Yul never wore cologne

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 26, 2020, 11:44:57 AM
I was in the library the other day and came across a book on altering trousers........


 Now thereís a book for the turnups...........
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2020, 12:11:09 PM
I was in the library the other day and came across a book on altering trousers........


 Now thereís a book for the turnups...........

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 26, 2020, 09:58:43 PM
I want to ask my English teacher to marry me when she gets released from prison......




Apparently you canít end a sentence with a proposition though........... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 26, 2020, 10:31:20 PM
I want to ask my English teacher to marry me when she gets released from prison......




Apparently you canít end a sentence with a proposition though........... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 27, 2020, 05:17:09 AM
I want to ask my English teacher to marry me when she gets released from prison......




Apparently you canít end a sentence with a proposition though........... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 27, 2020, 02:58:57 PM
I want to ask my English teacher to marry me when she gets released from prison......




Apparently you canít end a sentence with a proposition though........... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 28, 2020, 08:07:27 AM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 28, 2020, 08:20:16 AM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 28, 2020, 08:25:32 AM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:

Coz it's deuce ....... rubschin: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 28, 2020, 08:28:59 AM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:

Coz it's deuce ....... rubschin: redface:

facepalm: Go to the beach....  noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 28, 2020, 09:43:17 AM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:

Or you could answer like they did on other pub ... noooo:  @coz squash aint popular @.............. noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 28, 2020, 12:03:41 PM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 28, 2020, 12:04:13 PM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:

Or you could answer like they did on other pub ... noooo:  @coz squash aint popular @.............. noooo:

 noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 30, 2020, 02:47:58 PM
I swallowed a camera this morning.
I am now suffering flashbacks.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 01, 2020, 11:27:43 AM
A mate of mine gave me 500 back issues of Smash Hits.......... Thumbs:


With friends like that, who needs NMEís?................. redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 01, 2020, 11:30:05 AM
A mate of mine gave me 500 back issues of Smash Hits.......... Thumbs:


With friends like that, who needs NMEís?................. redface: redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 01, 2020, 12:13:05 PM
A mate of mine gave me 500 back issues of Smash Hits.......... Thumbs:


With friends like that, who needs NMEís?................. redface: redface:

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 01, 2020, 02:00:32 PM
This is .... redface:

Have you been hit by a rhythm stick...........................?

You may be entitled to an Ian Dury claim................ redface: redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 01, 2020, 02:15:26 PM
This is .... redface:

Have you been hit by a rhythm stick...........................?

You may be entitled to an Ian Dury claim................ redface: redface: redface:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 01, 2020, 03:42:38 PM
This is .... redface:

Have you been hit by a rhythm stick...........................?

You may be entitled to an Ian Dury claim................ redface: redface: redface:

facepalm:
doublefacepalm
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 03, 2020, 02:59:36 PM
How do you get a country girlís attention?.......... rubschin:

A tractor............ redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2020, 03:14:35 PM
How do you get a country girlís attention?.......... rubschin:

A tractor............ redface:

facepalm:

Did Mr. Darwin Sir tell you that one...? ::)
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 03, 2020, 06:24:43 PM
I didnít keep up the payments on my herb garden..........

So they sent in the Bayleafs............. redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2020, 04:15:55 AM
I didnít keep up the payments on my herb garden..........

So they sent in the Bayleafs............. redface: redface:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 07, 2020, 05:42:12 PM
Anagrams are vile and evil.......... evil:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 07, 2020, 05:52:41 PM
Anagrams are vile and evil.......... evil:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 07, 2020, 07:01:02 PM
Anagrams are vile and evil.......... evil:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 08, 2020, 05:26:35 AM
Anagrams are vile and evil.......... evil:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 08, 2020, 12:08:01 PM
A Tibetan monk sees the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine.

He raises his eyes to the heavens and exclaims "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 08, 2020, 02:28:15 PM
Anagrams are vile and evil.......... evil:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 10, 2020, 05:22:26 PM
I bought a rocket salad,.........



But it went off before I could eat it................ evil:


 redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 10, 2020, 11:57:42 PM
I bought a rocket salad,.........



But it went off before I could eat it................ evil:


 redface: redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 11, 2020, 07:54:26 PM
I bought a rocket salad,.........



But it went off before I could eat it................ evil:


 redface: redface:
lol:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 11, 2020, 08:32:55 PM
Are Nuns ..birds of pray......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 11, 2020, 10:19:10 PM
Are Nuns ..birds of pray......... rubschin:
;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 12, 2020, 05:39:16 AM
Are Nuns ..birds of pray......... rubschin:
;D
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 13, 2020, 07:16:52 AM
Are Nuns ..birds of pray......... rubschin:
;D
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on July 13, 2020, 10:38:36 PM
A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work yesterday.........

He fell into an industrial grinder...

He's fine now.......... whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 13, 2020, 10:49:32 PM
A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work yesterday.........

He fell into an industrial grinder...

He's fine now.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 14, 2020, 04:21:22 AM
A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work yesterday.........

He fell into an industrial grinder...

He's fine now.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 14, 2020, 06:30:32 AM
A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work yesterday.........

He fell into an industrial grinder...

He's fine now.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 14, 2020, 04:06:13 PM
A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work yesterday.........

He fell into an industrial grinder...

He's fine now.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on July 15, 2020, 07:06:31 PM
My interest in semaphore is starting to flag........... noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 15, 2020, 08:53:24 PM
My interest in semaphore is starting to flag........... noooo:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 16, 2020, 04:52:44 AM
My interest in semaphore is starting to flag........... noooo:
lol:
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 16, 2020, 09:00:34 AM
My interest in semaphore is starting to flag........... noooo:
lol:
lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on July 20, 2020, 11:53:26 PM
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally............. noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 21, 2020, 05:20:12 AM
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally............. noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 21, 2020, 08:43:02 AM
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally............. noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 21, 2020, 09:31:23 AM
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally............. noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
  lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on July 21, 2020, 04:49:36 PM
Cow farts come from the dairy air........... redface: redface: noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 21, 2020, 08:32:51 PM
Cow farts come from the dairy air........... redface: redface: noooo:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on July 28, 2020, 01:26:55 PM
Painting - a Jamaican paracetamol.......... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 28, 2020, 01:30:26 PM
Painting - a Jamaican paracetamol.......... Thumbs:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 28, 2020, 01:31:36 PM
Painting - a Jamaican paracetamol.......... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 28, 2020, 06:31:18 PM
Painting - a Jamaican paracetamol.......... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 28, 2020, 10:12:15 PM
Painting - a Jamaican paracetamol.......... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on August 24, 2020, 06:42:18 PM
The world's first baby was eavesdropping.......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on August 25, 2020, 04:13:48 AM
The world's first baby was eavesdropping.......... rubschin:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 25, 2020, 08:45:47 AM
The world's first baby was eavesdropping.......... rubschin:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Who gives A damn?
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on August 25, 2020, 09:10:24 AM
The world's first baby was eavesdropping.......... rubschin:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Who gives A damn?
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on August 25, 2020, 10:11:39 AM
The world's first baby was eavesdropping.......... rubschin:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Who gives A damn?
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on August 28, 2020, 02:27:39 PM
The world's first baby was eavesdropping.......... rubschin:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Who gives A damn?

 drumroll:  sorry delay ..
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on September 02, 2020, 09:00:13 PM
Selling my dogging stuff on ebay as I'm giving it up..

No bids yet but I've got 14 people watching
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on September 02, 2020, 10:25:33 PM
Selling my dogging stuff on ebay as I'm giving it up..

No bids yet but I've got 14 people watching
  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on September 03, 2020, 06:14:03 AM
Selling my dogging stuff on ebay as I'm giving it up..

No bids yet but I've got 14 people watching
  lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 03, 2020, 08:39:34 AM
Selling my dogging stuff on ebay as I'm giving it up..

No bids yet but I've got 14 people watching
  lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on September 16, 2020, 11:13:21 AM
Some herb and spice company is saying I owe them £100.

If I don't pay they're sending the bay leafs round.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on September 16, 2020, 12:06:14 PM
Some herb and spice company is saying I owe them £100.

If I don't pay they're sending the bay leafs round.

Given thyme, they will  redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on September 16, 2020, 12:28:35 PM
Some herb and spice company is saying I owe them £100.

If I don't pay they're sending the bay leafs round.

Given thyme, they will  redface:
;D

Very Sage advice
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on September 16, 2020, 12:30:37 PM
Some herb and spice company is saying I owe them £100.

If I don't pay they're sending the bay leafs round.

Given thyme, they will  redface:

happy001
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on September 16, 2020, 01:02:18 PM
Some herb and spice company is saying I owe them £100.

If I don't pay they're sending the bay leafs round.

Given thyme, they will  redface:
;D

Very Sage advice

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on September 20, 2020, 01:16:42 PM
I'm not a huge fan of innuendos

but I do like to slip one in every now and then.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on September 20, 2020, 02:06:09 PM
I'm not a huge fan of innuendos

but I do like to slip one in every now and then.

 ;D Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on September 20, 2020, 02:14:41 PM
I'm not a huge fan of innuendos

but I do like to slip one in every now and then.

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on September 21, 2020, 05:28:00 PM
My honest opinion on fishmongers??

Selfish....
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on September 21, 2020, 05:46:28 PM
My honest opinion on fishmongers??

Selfish....
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on September 21, 2020, 07:16:30 PM
My honest opinion on fishmongers??

Selfish....
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on September 22, 2020, 03:59:52 AM
My honest opinion on fishmongers??

Selfish....
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 22, 2020, 03:51:29 PM
My honest opinion on fishmongers??

Selfish....
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on October 04, 2020, 12:02:21 AM
Did Jeremy Beadle invent the mircowave ............ rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on October 04, 2020, 03:56:03 AM
Did Jeremy Beadle invent the mircowave ............ rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on October 05, 2020, 03:11:43 PM
I told my suitcases there will be no vacations this year.

Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on October 05, 2020, 04:58:54 PM
I told my suitcases there will be no vacations this year.

Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on October 05, 2020, 05:08:58 PM
I told my suitcases there will be no vacations this year.

Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

 ;D

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on October 05, 2020, 10:12:14 PM
If 2x2 makes..... 4.........


And 3x3 makes..... 9.........



How come 0x0 makes gravy............ rubschin:?
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on October 05, 2020, 10:55:54 PM
As Rick Astley once said....
Were no strangers to gloves,
You know the rules and so do I,
Corona Lockdowns what I'm thinking of,
You don't want this cough its very very dry,
I just wanna tell you how I'm sneezing,
Gotta make you understand.
Never gonna hit the pub,
Never gonna go down town,
Never gonna run around,
And contract Flu.
Never gonna make you die,
Never gonna go Shanghai,
Never gonna try a bat,
And infect you.
We've been In Quarantine for oh so long,
Your body's aching but you're too scared to say it,
Inside we both know what's been going on,
We know the virus and we're gonna slay it,
And if you ask me how I'm feeling,
Don't tell me you're too Ill to see.
Never gonna hit the pub,
Never gonna go down town,
Never gonna run around,
And contract Flu.
Never gonna make you die,
Never gonna go Shanghai,
Never gonna try a bat,
And infect you.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2020, 04:57:04 AM
As Rick Astley once said....
Were no strangers to gloves,
You know the rules and so do I,
Corona Lockdowns what I'm thinking of,
You don't want this cough its very very dry,
I just wanna tell you how I'm sneezing,
Gotta make you understand.
Never gonna hit the pub,
Never gonna go down town,
Never gonna run around,
And contract Flu.
Never gonna make you die,
Never gonna go Shanghai,
Never gonna try a bat,
And infect you.
We've been In Quarantine for oh so long,
Your body's aching but you're too scared to say it,
Inside we both know what's been going on,
We know the virus and we're gonna slay it,
And if you ask me how I'm feeling,
Don't tell me you're too Ill to see.
Never gonna hit the pub,
Never gonna go down town,
Never gonna run around,
And contract Flu.
Never gonna make you die,
Never gonna go Shanghai,
Never gonna try a bat,
And infect you.

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on October 14, 2020, 09:12:06 PM
I hate people who bang on about their phobias, I got a fear of heights but I don't shout it from the rooftops.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on October 14, 2020, 09:50:35 PM
I hate people who bang on about their phobias, I got a fear of heights but I don't shout it from the rooftops.
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on October 15, 2020, 10:34:02 AM
I hate people who bang on about their phobias, I got a fear of heights but I don't shout it from the rooftops.

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 15, 2020, 08:11:50 PM
I hate people who bang on about their phobias, I got a fear of heights but I don't shout it from the rooftops.

 ;D
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on October 17, 2020, 12:05:43 PM
A girl said to me ďarenít you the guy who does a Niel  Diamond act?Ē  ďI am ď I said....... whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on October 17, 2020, 12:42:40 PM
A girl said to me ďarenít you the guy who does a Niel  Diamond act?Ē  ďI am ď I said....... whistle:

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on October 17, 2020, 03:09:05 PM
A girl said to me ďarenít you the guy who does a Niel  Diamond act?Ē  ďI am ď I said....... whistle:

 ;D
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on October 20, 2020, 06:52:21 AM
What is it with people that wonít embrace modern technology? Answers on a postcard please.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on October 20, 2020, 08:38:19 AM
What is it with people that wonít embrace modern technology? Answers on a postcard please.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on October 20, 2020, 09:47:53 AM
What is it with people that wonít embrace modern technology? Answers on a postcard please.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on October 20, 2020, 09:51:03 AM
What is it with people that wonít embrace modern technology? Answers on a postcard please.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 20, 2020, 01:36:50 PM
What is it with people that wonít embrace modern technology? Answers on a postcard please.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on October 21, 2020, 02:45:38 PM
Doctor: Your body has ran out of magnesium...


Me: 0mg...... whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on October 21, 2020, 03:07:57 PM
Doctor: Your body has ran out of magnesium...


Me: 0mg...... whistle:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on October 21, 2020, 05:49:12 PM
Doctor: Your body has ran out of magnesium...


Me: 0mg...... whistle:
lol:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on October 22, 2020, 04:51:04 AM
Doctor: Your body has ran out of magnesium...


Me: 0mg...... whistle:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 22, 2020, 09:36:42 AM
Doctor: Your body has ran out of magnesium...


Me: 0mg...... whistle:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Nick on October 22, 2020, 01:44:25 PM
I find these amusing, periodically
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on October 22, 2020, 03:43:10 PM
I find these amusing, periodically

 drumroll:

 eeek:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 22, 2020, 07:16:28 PM
I find these amusing, periodically

 drumroll:

 eeek:
I thought you would find them a pain in the arse, Nick. No doubt Apey will table some more elementary puns.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on October 23, 2020, 04:49:46 AM
I find these amusing, periodically

 drumroll:

 eeek:
I thought you would find them a pain in the arse, Nick. No doubt Apey will table some more elementary puns.  :thumbsup:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on October 31, 2020, 10:41:33 PM
I was having a pint last night and this bloke said me, "Are those thick lens glasses you're wearing?"
I said, "No, they're mine!"
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on October 31, 2020, 11:48:12 PM
I was having a pint last night and this bloke said me, "Are those thick lens glasses you're wearing?"
I said, "No, they're mine!"
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on November 01, 2020, 09:07:42 AM
I was having a pint last night and this bloke said me, "Are those thick lens glasses you're wearing?"
I said, "No, they're mine!"
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 01, 2020, 09:41:00 AM
I was having a pint last night and this bloke said me, "Are those thick lens glasses you're wearing?"
I said, "No, they're mine!"
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on November 02, 2020, 07:50:15 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/vgbhRX3q/no-punch-line.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/vgbhRX3q)
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 02, 2020, 08:04:04 AM
<groan>
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on November 02, 2020, 08:43:11 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/vgbhRX3q/no-punch-line.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/vgbhRX3q)
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2020, 10:01:48 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/vgbhRX3q/no-punch-line.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/vgbhRX3q)

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 02, 2020, 02:24:20 PM

(https://i.postimg.cc/vgbhRX3q/no-punch-line.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/vgbhRX3q)

 lol: lol: lol:
::) ::) ::) ::)
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on November 08, 2020, 12:14:56 PM
Got a job in a chess factory making pieces .....
itís shift work and Iím on knights next week.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on November 16, 2020, 04:09:13 PM
Is a pub toilet an inn convenience.............................. rubschin:

 redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on November 16, 2020, 04:13:52 PM
Is a pub toilet an inn convenience.............................. rubschin:

 redface:

 noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on November 16, 2020, 06:23:31 PM
Is a pub toilet an inn convenience.............................. rubschin:

 redface:
;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on November 20, 2020, 08:52:13 PM
Titanic..............


That's my favourite one liner........ whistle:


 redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on November 20, 2020, 09:18:43 PM
Titanic..............


That's my favourite one liner........ whistle:


 redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on November 21, 2020, 05:44:57 AM
Titanic..............


That's my favourite one liner........ whistle:


 redface:

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on November 22, 2020, 12:45:52 PM
Time for the birds of prey quiz.

Fingers on buzzards...
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on November 28, 2020, 02:30:52 PM
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet
he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!"
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on November 28, 2020, 02:44:43 PM
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet
he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!"

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on December 01, 2020, 09:59:34 AM
Just been to B&Q.
The assistant said "Can I help you."
I said "I'd like some nails."
"How long would you like them?" asked the assistant.
I said "Forever, if that's all right with you,"
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2020, 11:47:50 AM
Just been to B&Q.
The assistant said "Can I help you."
I said "I'd like some nails."
"How long would you like them?" asked the assistant.
I said "Forever, if that's all right with you,"

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on December 01, 2020, 01:15:27 PM
Just been to B&Q.
The assistant said "Can I help you."
I said "I'd like some nails."
"How long would you like them?" asked the assistant.
I said "Forever, if that's all right with you,"

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on January 13, 2021, 05:47:18 PM
I just received a text inviting me to the local nudist club.

I thought: Why not? I haven't got anything on.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2021, 05:49:16 PM
I just received a text inviting me to the local nudist club.

I thought: Why not? I haven't got anything on.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on January 13, 2021, 10:24:07 PM
Bought a book called " How to Hug "..................




Turns out it  was volume 7 of an encyclopedia..................... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on January 13, 2021, 11:06:10 PM
Bought a book called " How to Hug "..................




Turns out it  was volume 7 of an encyclopedia..................... rubschin:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on January 14, 2021, 08:12:06 AM
Bought a book called " How to Hug "..................




Turns out it  was volume 7 of an encyclopedia..................... rubschin:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 14, 2021, 11:43:32 AM
Bought a book called " How to Hug "..................




Turns out it  was volume 7 of an encyclopedia..................... rubschin:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on January 14, 2021, 06:02:00 PM
Bought a book called " How to Hug "..................




Turns out it  was volume 7 of an encyclopedia..................... rubschin:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on January 30, 2021, 10:43:07 AM
Quote
Why donít they just make a vaccine from Keith Richards DNA so you can do what the fuck you want and live forever.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2021, 11:07:33 AM
Quote
Why donít they just make a vaccine from Keith Richards DNA so you can do what the fuck you want and live forever.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 30, 2021, 11:57:00 AM
Quote
Why donít they just make a vaccine from Keith Richards DNA so you can do what the fuck you want and live forever.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on January 30, 2021, 01:56:58 PM
Quote
Why donít they just make a vaccine from Keith Richards DNA so you can do what the fuck you want and live forever.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
  lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on January 30, 2021, 06:26:58 PM
Was Karl Marxís grave just another communist plot..................... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2021, 02:38:01 PM
Was Karl Marxís grave just another communist plot..................... rubschin:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on January 31, 2021, 11:51:42 PM
Notice some one has stolen one of the local bus shelters. Where the feck do these people get off?
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 01, 2021, 07:48:36 AM
Notice some one has stolen one of the local bus shelters. Where the feck do these people get off?

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 01, 2021, 08:44:49 AM
Notice some one has stolen one of the local bus shelters. Where the feck do these people get off?

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 01, 2021, 04:42:47 PM
Notice some one has stolen one of the local bus shelters. Where the feck do these people get off?

 ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 02, 2021, 02:35:24 PM
Notice some one has stolen one of the local bus shelters. Where the feck do these people get off?

 ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol: lol:
  lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 02, 2021, 02:35:47 PM
Was Karl Marxís grave just another communist plot..................... rubschin:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on February 05, 2021, 08:26:23 PM
A friend of mine has been working from home since Covid hit, and his manager has now told all his team that the team member with the worst posture may be disciplined. My friend has a hunch it might be him.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2021, 08:55:30 AM
A friend of mine has been working from home since Covid hit, and his manager has now told all his team that the team member with the worst posture may be disciplined. My friend has a hunch it might be him.

happy001
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 06, 2021, 09:57:11 AM
A friend of mine has been working from home since Covid hit, and his manager has now told all his team that the team member with the worst posture may be disciplined. My friend has a hunch it might be him.

happy001
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 06, 2021, 12:45:02 PM
A friend of mine has been working from home since Covid hit, and his manager has now told all his team that the team member with the worst posture may be disciplined. My friend has a hunch it might be him.

happy001
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 11, 2021, 10:57:57 AM
I always take my own salt & pepper in to restaurants...............


That way if the food is served under seasoned I can ask the waiter to pass my condiments to the chef.............. Thumbs:





 redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 11, 2021, 10:58:49 AM
I always take my own salt & pepper in to restaurants...............


That way if the food is served under seasoned I can ask the waiter to pass my condiments to the chef.............. Thumbs:





 redface: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 11, 2021, 11:54:18 AM
I always take my own salt & pepper in to restaurants...............


That way if the food is served under seasoned I can ask the waiter to pass my condiments to the chef.............. Thumbs:





 redface: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on February 11, 2021, 08:28:46 PM
I always take my own salt & pepper in to restaurants...............


That way if the food is served under seasoned I can ask the waiter to pass my condiments to the chef.............. Thumbs:





 redface: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 28, 2021, 09:29:40 PM
Fuming!!!
I paid a well known carpenter upfront, to make me a bespoke double bed and the bugger has only gone and done a bunk!!
It's just one thing on top of another!!
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 01, 2021, 05:30:18 AM
Fuming!!!
I paid a well known carpenter upfront, to make me a bespoke double bed and the bugger has only gone and done a bunk!!
It's just one thing on top of another!!

AFFS!  whistle:

https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6101.msg665390#msg665390
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 01, 2021, 09:35:43 AM
Fuming!!!
I paid a well known carpenter upfront, to make me a bespoke double bed and the bugger has only gone and done a bunk!!
It's just one thing on top of another!!

AFFS!  whistle:

https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6101.msg665390#msg665390
redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 11, 2021, 07:35:48 PM
Is Draculaís wife Gladys knight ............................?................. rubschin:



 redface: redface:    noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 11, 2021, 08:26:02 PM
Not sleeping very well at the moment. I keep dreaming I'm a horse.

That's 5 nights on the trot!     redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2021, 07:46:56 AM
Not sleeping very well at the moment. I keep dreaming I'm a horse.

That's 5 nights on the trot!     redface:

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 12, 2021, 09:19:29 PM
Not sleeping very well at the moment. I keep dreaming I'm a horse.

That's 5 nights on the trot!     redface:

 ;D
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 12, 2021, 11:39:14 PM
Tonto asked the Lone ranger,why is it when we're attacked by Indians all their arrows hit me and none hit you?..........

It's my aftershave ,said the lone ranger ,what aftershave?said Tonto,...................


Aramis he replied........... redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 13, 2021, 06:07:14 AM
Tonto asked the Lone ranger,why is it when we're attacked by Indians all their arrows hit me and none hit you?..........

It's my aftershave ,said the lone ranger ,what aftershave?said Tonto,...................


Aramis he replied........... redface: redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 13, 2021, 11:07:42 AM
Tonto asked the Lone ranger,why is it when we're attacked by Indians all their arrows hit me and none hit you?..........

It's my aftershave ,said the lone ranger ,what aftershave?said Tonto,...................


Aramis he replied........... redface: redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 13, 2021, 11:30:01 AM
Shrugs:     redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 14, 2021, 05:42:15 AM
Shrugs:     redface:

Arrowmiss...  ;)
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 14, 2021, 10:49:08 AM
Shrugs:     redface:

Arrowmiss...  ;)
doh:   ta

What passes for my brain just got locked into 3 musketeers thinking
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 14, 2021, 11:37:18 AM
Shrugs:     redface:

Arrowmiss...  ;)
doh:   ta

What passes for my brain just got locked into 3 musketeers thinking

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 19, 2021, 10:04:06 PM
"A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens was first published in two local newspapers.



It was the Bicester times,..... it was the Worcester times........... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 19, 2021, 10:31:14 PM
"A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens was first published in two local newspapers.



It was the Bicester times,..... it was the Worcester times........... redface:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 19, 2021, 10:53:23 PM
"A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens was first published in two local newspapers.



It was the Bicester times,..... it was the Worcester times........... redface:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 20, 2021, 05:44:03 AM
Saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall earlier. I thought to myself that it was a little condescending..

 redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 20, 2021, 06:41:20 AM
"A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens was first published in two local newspapers.



It was the Bicester times,..... it was the Worcester times........... redface:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 20, 2021, 06:41:39 AM
Saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall earlier. I thought to myself that it was a little condescending..

 redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 20, 2021, 09:34:59 AM
Saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall earlier. I thought to myself that it was a little condescending..

 redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 20, 2021, 07:57:52 PM
Saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall earlier. I thought to myself that it was a little condescending..

 redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 20, 2021, 07:58:14 PM
"A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens was first published in two local newspapers.



It was the Bicester times,..... it was the Worcester times........... redface:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 21, 2021, 10:17:35 PM
The past ,the present, and the future walked into a bar ..........



It was tense .......... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 21, 2021, 11:08:03 PM
The past ,the present, and the future walked into a bar ..........



It was tense .......... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 22, 2021, 04:57:33 AM
The past ,the present, and the future walked into a bar ..........



It was tense .......... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 22, 2021, 06:47:07 AM
The past ,the present, and the future walked into a bar ..........



It was tense .......... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 23, 2021, 09:40:01 AM
The past ,the present, and the future walked into a bar ..........



It was tense .......... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 30, 2021, 10:35:44 AM
I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery...



Sew to speak.................. redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 30, 2021, 10:39:24 AM
I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery...



Sew to speak.................. redface:
lol: lol:
Glad you put this in the right thread  whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 30, 2021, 10:59:37 AM
I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery...



Sew to speak.................. redface:
lol: lol:
Glad you put this in the right thread  whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 30, 2021, 11:00:15 AM
I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery...



Sew to speak.................. redface:
lol: lol:
Glad you put this in the right thread  whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 30, 2021, 11:01:42 AM
I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery...



Sew to speak.................. redface:
lol: lol:
Glad you put this in the right thread  whistle:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 30, 2021, 11:02:22 AM
I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery...



Sew to speak.................. redface:
lol: lol:
Glad you put this in the right thread  whistle:

 drumroll:

It would needle me in the wrong one....... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 30, 2021, 11:03:38 AM
I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery...



Sew to speak.................. redface:
lol: lol:
Glad you put this in the right thread  whistle:

 drumroll:

It would needle me in the wrong one....... redface:
Can BM please pin this thread
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 30, 2021, 11:12:08 AM
facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 30, 2021, 12:39:16 PM
facepalm:
angel1
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 30, 2021, 06:30:39 PM
I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery...



Sew to speak.................. redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 30, 2021, 06:31:26 PM
I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery...



Sew to speak.................. redface:
lol: lol:
Glad you put this in the right thread  whistle:

 drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 03, 2021, 07:32:33 PM
(https://scontent-lcy1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/166534499_291167975706212_4128411667374363854_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=SETCOB58qUYAX_qd6TE&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-1.xx&oh=14e96548ba8e24eb52c2bc80f7a19ccc&oe=60901D6A)

I'll get me coat
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2021, 07:47:39 PM
(https://scontent-lcy1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/166534499_291167975706212_4128411667374363854_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=SETCOB58qUYAX_qd6TE&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-1.xx&oh=14e96548ba8e24eb52c2bc80f7a19ccc&oe=60901D6A)

I'll get me coat

 ;D ;D Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on April 03, 2021, 10:39:07 PM
(https://scontent-lcy1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/166534499_291167975706212_4128411667374363854_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=SETCOB58qUYAX_qd6TE&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-1.xx&oh=14e96548ba8e24eb52c2bc80f7a19ccc&oe=60901D6A)

I'll get me coat

 ;D ;D Thumbs:

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 04, 2021, 04:56:25 PM
(https://scontent-lcy1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/166534499_291167975706212_4128411667374363854_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=SETCOB58qUYAX_qd6TE&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-1.xx&oh=14e96548ba8e24eb52c2bc80f7a19ccc&oe=60901D6A)

I'll get me coat

 ;D ;D Thumbs:

 ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on April 07, 2021, 07:24:43 PM
If a school fails to teach kids the full 12 times table, is it gross negligence.............?

 rubschin:


 redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 08, 2021, 06:45:35 AM
If a school fails to teach kids the full 12 times table, is it gross negligence.............?

 rubschin:


 redface:

 lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 08, 2021, 07:54:22 AM
If a school fails to teach kids the full 12 times table, is it gross negligence.............?

 rubschin:


 redface:

 lol:
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 08, 2021, 09:55:12 AM
If a school fails to teach kids the full 12 times table, is it gross negligence.............?

 rubschin:


 redface:

 lol:
lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on April 11, 2021, 09:41:48 AM
I had a tough childhood, being born in the black forest.........

 redface:

it was rough growing up in the gateau...........
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 11, 2021, 10:46:16 AM
I had a tough childhood, being born in the black forest.........

 redface:

it was rough growing up in the gateau...........

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 11, 2021, 10:49:48 AM
I had a tough childhood, being born in the black forest.........

 redface:

it was rough growing up in the gateau...........

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 11, 2021, 12:51:35 PM
I had a tough childhood, being born in the black forest.........

 redface:

it was rough growing up in the gateau...........

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on April 11, 2021, 03:52:15 PM
I had a tough childhood, being born in the black forest.........

 redface:

it was rough growing up in the gateau...........

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on April 17, 2021, 11:47:16 AM
Why men get married is a mystery........... rubschin:



Why they'd marry two women is a bigamistery............ redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 17, 2021, 11:58:25 AM
Why men get married is a mystery........... rubschin:



Why they'd marry two women is a bigamistery............ redface:

happy001
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 18, 2021, 08:34:39 AM
Why men get married is a mystery........... rubschin:



Why they'd marry two women is a bigamistery............ redface:

happy001
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on April 18, 2021, 09:30:05 AM
Does the Arachnophobia support group have a web site............ rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 18, 2021, 10:23:39 AM
Does the Arachnophobia support group have a web site............ rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 18, 2021, 12:44:42 PM
Does the Arachnophobia support group have a web site............ rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 18, 2021, 12:45:04 PM
Iíve no home, I havenít got control, I canít see any escape.

Way past the time I got a new keyboard.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on April 18, 2021, 04:05:30 PM
Iíve no home, I havenít got control, I canít see any escape.

Way past the time I got a new keyboard.

 lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on April 18, 2021, 07:26:04 PM
Iíve no home, I havenít got control, I canít see any escape.

Way past the time I got a new keyboard.

 lol:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 19, 2021, 06:19:08 AM
Iíve no home, I havenít got control, I canít see any escape.

Way past the time I got a new keyboard.

 lol:

 lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 19, 2021, 09:22:56 AM
Iíve no home, I havenít got control, I canít see any escape.

Way past the time I got a new keyboard.

 lol:

 lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 21, 2021, 05:49:10 PM
Electrician didn't get home until after 2am.
His wife asked "Wire you insulate?"
He replied, "Watts it to you, I'm ohm, aren't I?".
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 08, 2021, 11:45:31 PM
Houdini was bound to be famous....... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 09, 2021, 05:50:46 AM
Houdini was bound to be famous....... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 09, 2021, 05:52:37 AM
Houdini was bound to be famous....... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 09, 2021, 12:32:53 PM
Houdini was bound to be famous....... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 09, 2021, 03:55:03 PM
Houdini was bound to be famous....... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: