Disgusterous

Author Topic: The all new "One of those days" thread  (Read 598 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 103464
  • Reputation: -115
The all new "One of those days" thread
« on: August 27, 2020, 04:51:36 PM »
1. The phone rings
Is that Stoke lock
Yes
Good, I need to speak to you
Speak away
We were planning to come up to the lock, pass through and spend the night on your topside moorings
Fine!
But we aren't
What do you mean?
We have changed our plans and we are staying here!
Where
(Names next lock down)
So what are you telling me?
That we have no plans to come through your lock
Um, so why do I need to know this?
Because we had planned to but now we aren't
Did I know of this plan?
No, but it is a matter of courtesy!
 Shrugs:

2. As you approach the lock do beware of the sandbar which is liberally covered in flourescent markers
OK!!  :thumbsup:
Boat careers through orange buoys on sandbar, destroying 6 and getting the anchor chain of a 7th wrapped around its propeller
They manage to get to the riverbank and set about untangling the chain
2 hours later they call: The gear box is damaged and we plan to continue our journey in reverse.
They enter the lock backwards and set off for Nottingham going backwards all the way (6 miles?) noooo:

3. Monsoon starts. A little boat arrives and the inhabitants set off into the nearby woods for a naked BBQ  eeek:
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Just One More

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 24662
  • Reputation: 0
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2020, 05:11:47 PM »
1. The phone rings
Is that Stoke lock
Yes
Good, I need to speak to you
Speak away
We were planning to come up to the lock, pass through and spend the night on your topside moorings
Fine!
But we aren't
What do you mean?
We have changed our plans and we are staying here!
Where
(Names next lock down)
So what are you telling me?
That we have no plans to come through your lock
Um, so why do I need to know this?
Because we had planned to but now we aren't
Did I know of this plan?
No, but it is a matter of courtesy!
 Shrugs:

2. As you approach the lock do beware of the sandbar which is liberally covered in flourescent markers
OK!!  :thumbsup:
Boat careers through orange buoys on sandbar, destroying 6 and getting the anchor chain of a 7th wrapped around its propeller
They manage to get to the riverbank and set about untangling the chain
2 hours later they call: The gear box is damaged and we plan to continue our journey in reverse.
They enter the lock backwards and set off for Nottingham going backwards all the way (6 miles?) noooo:

3. Monsoon starts. A little boat arrives and the inhabitants set off into the nearby woods for a naked BBQ  eeek:

Sausage
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 139309
  • Reputation: -49
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2020, 05:12:10 PM »
1. The phone rings
Is that Stoke lock
Yes
Good, I need to speak to you
Speak away
We were planning to come up to the lock, pass through and spend the night on your topside moorings
Fine!
But we aren't
What do you mean?
We have changed our plans and we are staying here!
Where
(Names next lock down)
So what are you telling me?
That we have no plans to come through your lock
Um, so why do I need to know this?
Because we had planned to but now we aren't
Did I know of this plan?
No, but it is a matter of courtesy!
 Shrugs:

2. As you approach the lock do beware of the sandbar which is liberally covered in flourescent markers
OK!!  :thumbsup:
Boat careers through orange buoys on sandbar, destroying 6 and getting the anchor chain of a 7th wrapped around its propeller
They manage to get to the riverbank and set about untangling the chain
2 hours later they call: The gear box is damaged and we plan to continue our journey in reverse.
They enter the lock backwards and set off for Nottingham going backwards all the way (6 miles?) noooo:

3. Monsoon starts. A little boat arrives and the inhabitants set off into the nearby woods for a naked BBQ  eeek:

 lol: lol: lol: eeek:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 51169
  • Reputation: -4
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2020, 08:12:26 PM »
 lol: lol: lol:

I keep saying it but there's a fair decent book in them there stories Nick
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 38349
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2020, 08:41:37 AM »
lol: lol: lol:

I keep saying it but there's a fair decent book in them there stories Nick
:thumbsup:
I mostly despair

Offline Miss Demeanour

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 35672
  • Reputation: 2
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2020, 09:14:43 AM »
Takes of the Lock Nick Monster  rubschin:
Skubber

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 51169
  • Reputation: -4
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2020, 09:16:09 AM »
Takes of the Lock Nick Monster  rubschin:
;D

I was more thinking Tales from the other Riverbank
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 139309
  • Reputation: -49
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #7 on: August 28, 2020, 09:37:54 AM »
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 30089
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #8 on: August 28, 2020, 09:44:03 AM »
Do you think similar things happen at the other locks or are they all just drawn to the Alpha oddball...?  rubschin:
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Offline Miss Demeanour

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 35672
  • Reputation: 2
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2020, 09:48:39 AM »
It could be a new Harry Potter style series  :thumbsup:

There could be munny in this  lol:

Reservoir Mogs
Bridge over the river - why ?
Das Barge
Dam flusters


etc etc etc  lol: 
Skubber

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 30089
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2020, 09:52:05 AM »
Tall Tales From the Riverbank?  rubschin:
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 51169
  • Reputation: -4
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #11 on: August 28, 2020, 10:09:06 AM »
Fifty shades of grey water?
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 30089
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #12 on: August 28, 2020, 10:18:02 AM »
The Poseidumb adventure?
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 139309
  • Reputation: -49
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2020, 10:19:42 AM »
Nicktanic...?
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 30089
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2020, 10:33:42 AM »
Nicktanic...?

Surely Titanick would have been better  rubschin:
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe