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Author Topic: Nod's Adventures  (Read 13151 times)

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Online Grumpmeister

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #330 on: May 08, 2021, 12:55:16 PM »
Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is  angel1 angel1 angel1

On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting.  eeek:
Dress costs 15000 Shocked:  (she was a big winner on the Lottery)

Nod asks me what he should do or say

I advise:

1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her :thumbsup:
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)

Job done  :thumbsup:

Nod made notes
I am a genius  angel1 angel1

Cleaner : "Does my bum look big in this?"

Nod (panicking and referring to the notes then using the closest match): "It's too tight across"

 noooo:
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Online Nick

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #331 on: May 08, 2021, 12:56:40 PM »
 eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: scared2:
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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #332 on: May 08, 2021, 01:12:42 PM »
eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: scared2:

I'm sure that retribution will be quick and relatively painless once he explains you gave him the advice...  noooo:
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Offline Steve

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #333 on: May 08, 2021, 01:39:54 PM »
Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is  angel1 angel1 angel1

On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting.  eeek:
Dress costs 15000 Shocked:  (she was a big winner on the Lottery)

Nod asks me what he should do or say

I advise:

1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her :thumbsup:
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)

Job done  :thumbsup:

Nod made notes
I am a genius  angel1 angel1

worthy:
worthy: worthy:
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Online Nick

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #334 on: May 08, 2021, 02:23:28 PM »
I recall helping Mrs Nick choose a new dress once. I told her the one she chose made her look like a "beached whale". It did! Fortunately, the 8 year old the Boy was with me and he agreed. I think he said "Walrus". angel1 angel1
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #335 on: May 08, 2021, 02:56:40 PM »
Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is  angel1 angel1 angel1

On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting.  eeek:
Dress costs 15000 Shocked:  (she was a big winner on the Lottery)

Nod asks me what he should do or say

I advise:

1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her :thumbsup:
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)

Job done  :thumbsup:

Nod made notes
I am a genius  angel1 angel1

Why is she still a cleaner ..... rubschin:

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #336 on: May 08, 2021, 03:03:40 PM »
Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is  angel1 angel1 angel1

On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting.  eeek:
Dress costs 15000 Shocked:  (she was a big winner on the Lottery)

Nod asks me what he should do or say

I advise:

1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her :thumbsup:
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)

Job done  :thumbsup:

Nod made notes
I am a genius  angel1 angel1

Why is she still a cleaner ..... rubschin:

Scrubber...  whistle:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Online Nick

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #337 on: May 08, 2021, 03:11:25 PM »
She jacked in her job, bought a nice house and big Merc. She got bored. She does 2 hours a day (10 an hour) of cleaning to get her out of the house.  She seems to deal mainly with hard luck cases  ::)  She takes food to Nod. He is not keen on her two pit bull terriers. noooo:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #338 on: May 08, 2021, 04:41:06 PM »
She jacked in her job, bought a nice house and big Merc. She got bored. She does 2 hours a day (10 an hour) of cleaning to get her out of the house.  She seems to deal mainly with hard luck cases  ::)  She takes food to Nod. He is not keen on her two pit bull terriers. noooo:

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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #339 on: May 09, 2021, 09:18:38 AM »
And she has no other friends or family that she would take to a dress fitting to get an opinion from ??  rubschin:
Skubber

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #340 on: May 09, 2021, 04:15:31 PM »
And she has no other friends or family that she would take to a dress fitting to get an opinion from ??  rubschin:

One last fling you say...?  rubschin:
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Online Nick

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #341 on: May 09, 2021, 04:24:19 PM »
And she has no other friends or family that she would take to a dress fitting to get an opinion from ??  rubschin:
It's inexplicable. Full report tomorrow  :thumbsup:
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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #342 on: May 10, 2021, 01:19:00 PM »
Nod had hoped, as the fitting was at 12, to make "lunch" by 12.45.

Clothes shopping. With wimmin. 45 minutes  happy001 happy001 happy001

He is an idiot

For a wedding dress. 45 minutes?  happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002

At 1.45 he texted to say that his feal job was to CARRY the dress from the makers to the cleaner's house in the poshest part of Nottingham (about a mile, with parking limitations everywhere). It is pouring with rain and he is soaked and knackered. She gave him a lift home in her other car (the Porsche) which he had trouble climbing out of noooo: noooo:
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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #343 on: May 10, 2021, 01:25:22 PM »
Nod had hoped, as the fitting was at 12, to make "lunch" by 12.45.

Clothes shopping. With wimmin. 45 minutes  happy001 happy001 happy001

He is an idiot

For a wedding dress. 45 minutes?  happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002

At 1.45 he texted to say that his feal job was to CARRY the dress from the makers to the cleaner's house in the poshest part of Nottingham (about a mile, with parking limitations everywhere). It is pouring with rain and he is soaked and knackered. She gave him a lift home in her other car (the Porsche) which he had trouble climbing out of noooo: noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

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Re: Nod's Adventures
« Reply #344 on: May 10, 2021, 02:03:31 PM »
Nod had hoped, as the fitting was at 12, to make "lunch" by 12.45.

Clothes shopping. With wimmin. 45 minutes  happy001 happy001 happy001

He is an idiot

For a wedding dress. 45 minutes?  happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002

At 1.45 he texted to say that his feal job was to CARRY the dress from the makers to the cleaner's house in the poshest part of Nottingham (about a mile, with parking limitations everywhere). It is pouring with rain and he is soaked and knackered. She gave him a lift home in her other car (the Porsche) which he had trouble climbing out of noooo: noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)