Highlights of the day (as Supervisor) starting at 04.30...
1. 04.30, leave the office, go to the baggage hall, grab the newbie who has been late 3 times within the last month, take him back to the crew room to get his possessions and then escort him land-side, remove his security pass and sack him there and then.
2. 04.46 go into the baggage hall to attend a kerfuffle arising from two of his mongtard friends from Croydon who have found out he has been sacked. Take them back to the crew room to get their possessions and then escort them land-side, advise them they are both suspended pending further investigations.
3. 05.01 Phone call from a flight despatcher asking where the bags for the Amsterdam were - they should have been there 10 minutes earlier. Go into the baggage hall to ask the Line Controller where they were. He advises that they were sent 10 minutes earlier, but the plane was on stand 145 which is nearer Charlwood than the baggage hall. There were only 9 bags anyway. Rang the despatcher to advise him to stop pissing his knickers as he should have been aware of this.
4. 05.08 Phone call from a flight despatcher asking where the last bags (about 20) for the Ibiza flight were as they should have been there by now. Go into the baggage hall to ask the Line Controller where they were. He advises them that he has just sent them as he didn't have any blokes left who could take them until a few minutes ago. The plane is on stand 176 which is even nearer to Charlwood than the baggage hall.
5. 05.20 The computer system shows that we are being blamed (Code 18) for the delayed departure to the Ibiza flight. Reports will need to be made.
6. 05.22 The computer system shows that we are being blamed for another delay on the Almeria flight due to bags turning up late. The plane was on stand 160R which is near halfway between 145 and 176. Also near one of the air-side smoking areas and "Toni's Takeaway" which provides much lovely caloric fried foodstuffs to all Gatwick workers air-side. The same Line Controller was responsible for these bags. Another report for him to complete.
7. 05.48 Phone call from Check-in asking us to locate a bag as the passenger (I refuse to call them "customers") has left his Passport in it. Twat.
8. 06.01 Camp French-sounding Check-in bloke calls to say that 2 bags have entered the baggage system which contain ammunition for sporting rifles. I advise that the bags will be highlighted by the X-ray scanners, removed, placed in "level 4 " security (by the Gatwick security bods) and then taken, by security to the boarding gate to be vetted with the passenger in attendance. Subsequently, I interrogate the baggage system and find that the bags have skipped merrily through the X-ray process and after going into the baggage hall I discover that they have alreay been sent to the plane on stand 174.
I grab a Line Controller and throw him into the company car, speeding off to to stand 174 ignoring the 20mph speed limit. We get to the plane and luckily they haven't started loading the plane. We pull baggage carts apart and find the two offending bags - and they were seriously heavy. How much ammunition was there? Bags returned to Check-in so that the correct process, invloving the correct paperwork is adhered to. Futile, however, as the plane would have departed before then. Passengers and bags officially offloaded and they would have had to wait until the next flight, 6 hours later.
9. 06.57 Get back to the office to find that the Line Controller responsible for the 2 delays has fucked off early without completing the reports required.
10. 07.11 Check-in call to request a bag is returned to them as the passenger has left his vital medicine in it. Twat.
11. 07.17 Check-in call to say that there is a 3rd bag with ammunition in it. The plane has just been pushed out. The pushback tug driver receives a message to pull the plane back onto stand. I again race to stand 174 and climb inside the hold, retrieve the offending bag (again extremely heavy with ammo) and throw it in the boot. The plane is pushed back and departs 45 minutes late.
12. 07.22 I attend the smoking area for 2 well-earned ciggies and then Toni's takeaway for the "full breakfast stick". A hearty 1/2 soft french stick with 2 fried eggs, 2 bacon, 2 sausage, mushrooms and chips. £4.20.
13. 07.51 Back in the office, Check-in call again, asking if they can send a 145kg electric wheelchair down through the baggage belt system. I tell them to kindly fuck off and learn the proper procedures. (these things get taken straight to the plane, along with the passenger in a special vehicle that hydraulically lifts the passenger into the plane and the heavy wheelchair into the plane)
14. 08.18 Line Controller comes into the office asking why a 145kg electric wheelchair has just come down the "Out of Guage" belt, which is used for odd-shaped stuff normally like skis, golf clubs, bicyles etc. And due to its weight it fell off on one of the bends breaking one of the arm-rests. It was at this point that my usual calm and polite demeanour left me.
15. 08.32 I advise our Duty Manager (new) of what has happened. His reponse "I don't know what to do". He is new to the job, having come from a company that just cleans the inside of planes. I call him many words that are not repeatable in polite company.
16. 08.37 I call the duty manager of Check-in and call her many words that are not repeatable (I know her, and she knows even worserer words, so not a problem).
17. Calm for a few hours.
18. 15.30 An agency worker, who started at 12.00 comes into the office and complains that he hasn't had a break yet, nor a ciggie. I remind him that 6 hours is the limit before a break is legally required. He carries on whingeing. I invite him for a ciggie and - if he wants - food from Toni's takeaway. He gladly accepts and I take him in the car to the smoking area where we both enjoy 2 ciggies and he orders a double cheeseburger and chips and simply opt for a grilled chicken wrap. With chile sauce, obviously. We enjoy our meals and then return to the crew room, tell him to grab his possessions and then escort him land-side and suspend him until further notice. He calls me rude words which are not repeatable in polite company.
19. 16.27 Check-in ring to ask me to locate a bag as the passenger has left her iPad in it. I remind them of the new rules which are thus"tough shit, it stays in the aircraft hold". They weren't aware
20. 16.33 Agency worker's manager rings to complain that I have been harsh to his retarded fuckmong by suspending him. Rude words are exchanged. I advise the Duty Manager who just looks at me like a whipped-dog, so I hand him the main company mobile phone and advise him that I'm done for the day. He looked close to tears
21. 17.33 Home, many cold beers
But I am SERIOUSLY worried how ammunition can pass through the X-rays un-detected.
