Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 158007 times)

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Offline Darwins Selection

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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4156 on: March 10, 2017, 09:50:16 PM »
Last night I had the craziest dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg !

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4157 on: March 10, 2017, 10:13:42 PM »
Last night I had the craziest dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg !
drumroll:  ;D
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4158 on: March 10, 2017, 10:44:19 PM »
Last night I had the craziest dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg !
drumroll:  ;D
lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4159 on: March 11, 2017, 01:41:37 AM »
Last night I had the craziest dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg !

Nothing to be sniffed at .......... rubschin:

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4160 on: March 11, 2017, 08:25:57 AM »
Last night I had the craziest dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg !

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

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Well, whatever nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4162 on: March 12, 2017, 11:21:36 PM »
So was in Lidl today with 2 trolleys of booze ...when a little old lady came up behind me with just a pint of milk...........So asked ..is that all you got ....????


So I did the decent thing .... Thumbs:






So I said ...."if I were you I'd fuck off to another till I'm going to be ages "........ Thumbs:

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4163 on: March 12, 2017, 11:46:51 PM »
So was in Lidl today with 2 trolleys of booze ...when a little old lady came up behind me with just a pint of milk...........So asked ..is that all you got ....????


So I did the decent thing .... Thumbs:






So I said ...."if I were you I'd fuck off to another till I'm going to be ages "........ Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4164 on: March 13, 2017, 04:52:27 AM »
So was in Lidl today with 2 trolleys of booze ...when a little old lady came up behind me with just a pint of milk...........So asked ..is that all you got ....????


So I did the decent thing .... Thumbs:






So I said ...."if I were you I'd fuck off to another till I'm going to be ages "........ Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4165 on: March 13, 2017, 06:16:29 PM »
So was in Lidl today with 2 trolleys of booze ...when a little old lady came up behind me with just a pint of milk...........So asked ..is that all you got ....????


So I did the decent thing .... Thumbs:






So I said ...."if I were you I'd fuck off to another till I'm going to be ages "........ Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4166 on: March 22, 2017, 09:46:13 AM »
'Nicola Sturgeon is touring Perthshire in the First Minister's chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur : " You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. " You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, I can't afford to be blamed for anything. The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. " My God, what happened to you ?" asks Nicola. The chauffeur replies : " When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me." " What on earth did you say?" asks Nicola. I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Nicola Sturgeon's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."
Well, whatever nevermind

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4167 on: March 22, 2017, 09:52:05 AM »
'Nicola Sturgeon is touring Perthshire in the First Minister's chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur : " You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. " You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, I can't afford to be blamed for anything. The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. " My God, what happened to you ?" asks Nicola. The chauffeur replies : " When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me." " What on earth did you say?" asks Nicola. I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Nicola Sturgeon's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4168 on: March 22, 2017, 12:51:48 PM »
'Nicola Sturgeon is touring Perthshire in the First Minister's chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur : " You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. " You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, I can't afford to be blamed for anything. The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. " My God, what happened to you ?" asks Nicola. The chauffeur replies : " When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me." " What on earth did you say?" asks Nicola. I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Nicola Sturgeon's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4169 on: April 16, 2017, 12:45:21 PM »
Dad, why is my sister called Teresa?

Because your mum loves Easter, itís an anagram

Thanks dad

No problem Alan   lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie