Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 732302 times)

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Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #270 on: December 22, 2010, 01:36:59 PM »
I'm sick of the double standards in my relationship!

The wife comes home with a 'rampant rabbit' and she is a naughty fun girl with a special new toy.

But when I order a 240 volt 'fistmaster 5000' with a 'latex pussy and a realistic elasticated arsehole together with a spunk collection tray', then I am some kind of sick bastard!

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #271 on: December 22, 2010, 01:40:29 PM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Tipsy Gipsy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #272 on: December 22, 2010, 02:12:07 PM »
Or get someone in  redface:

Get a man in like?  rubschin:
Or get someone in  redface:

Get a man in like?  rubschin:

Do either of you two wear long trousers yet?  Or are you both too young, wait till Miss C arrives.. you're gonna be on the naughty step.  cloud9:
It's better than I ever even knew.  They say that the world was built for two.  Only worth living if somebody is loving you.  Baby now you do.

Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #273 on: December 22, 2010, 02:13:30 PM »
All men get stuck at about 7 years old. We get bigger but our brains remain the same. Wimmin should learn this  noooo:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #274 on: December 22, 2010, 02:14:29 PM »
All men get stuck at about 7 years old. We get bigger but our brains remain the same. Wimmin should learn this  noooo:

[snigger] Oh....  redface:
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Offline Tipsy Gipsy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #275 on: December 22, 2010, 05:53:32 PM »
All men get stuck at about 7 years old. We get bigger but our brains remain the same. Wimmin should learn this  noooo:

[snigger] Oh....  redface:


Oh Barman.    noooo:
It's better than I ever even knew.  They say that the world was built for two.  Only worth living if somebody is loving you.  Baby now you do.

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #276 on: December 22, 2010, 06:58:11 PM »
Just got home and all the windows and doors were open, everything gone!!
 

 

What kind of sicko does that to someone’s advent calendar!!
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #277 on: December 22, 2010, 06:59:28 PM »
All men get stuck at about 7 years old. We get bigger but our brains remain the same. Wimmin should learn this  noooo:

[snigger] Oh....  redface:


Oh Barman.    noooo:

 redface:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #278 on: December 27, 2010, 06:45:07 PM »
Not from the Inbox, but heard on the radio earlier when discussing the end of Day one in the cricket, "Can anybody tell me why so many Australians wents to the cricket in fancy dress dressed as empty plastic seats" [snigger]
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #279 on: December 28, 2010, 12:42:27 AM »
Not from the Inbox, but heard on the radio earlier when discussing the end of Day one in the cricket, "Can anybody tell me why so many Australians wents to the cricket in fancy dress dressed as empty plastic seats" [snigger]
lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #280 on: December 28, 2010, 09:54:33 AM »
A true mystery from a firend::

The following tale was told to me by friends who we visited yesterday in a little village about 20 miles from Cambridge.

 

On Boxing Day, an elderly but still feisty female neighbour of theirs had been returning from her morning constitutional when she spotted a plastic bag on the footpath near her front gate.  Thinking it was litter, she stooped to pick it up to put it in her bin, but then realised that it wasn’t empty.  On inspection she discovered its contents to be:

·         6 cheese rolls

·         1 large dildo

 

Somewhat nonplussed by this find, she hurried indoors with the bag to think what to do about it.  Over a restorative cup of tea, and after due consideration, she decided to put the – quite fresh – cheese rolls in her fridge, and to add the dildo to the pile of jumble that she’d just sorted to donate to the Salvation Army.

 
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Offline Pirate

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #281 on: December 29, 2010, 12:34:06 PM »
It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster then a man's. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. The woman in the pub have read this entire text. The men are still looking at their thumb...

Offline Tipsy Gipsy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #282 on: December 30, 2010, 05:49:46 AM »
I have just had a letter back from Srewfix...

They said they regretted but had to inform me that they were not actually a dating agency!
It's better than I ever even knew.  They say that the world was built for two.  Only worth living if somebody is loving you.  Baby now you do.

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #283 on: December 30, 2010, 07:40:11 AM »
 ;D
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #284 on: December 30, 2010, 10:39:35 AM »
I have just had a letter back from Srewfix...

They said they regretted but had to inform me that they were not actually a dating agency!

Nick was also unhappy with his purchase from Shrewfix.
I mostly despair