Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 141589 times)

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4185 on: May 16, 2017, 02:52:28 PM »
possibly an Affs but whatever

When you're seventy

I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you're seventy..............who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?";
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you're seventy..............who cares?
***********
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.";
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.";
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you're seventy...............who cares?
**********
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you're seventy...............who cares?
*********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you're seventy...............who cares?
**********
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you're seventy...............who cares?
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4186 on: May 16, 2017, 03:17:10 PM »
possibly an Affs but whatever

When you're seventy

I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you're seventy..............who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?";
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you're seventy..............who cares?
***********
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.";
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.";
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you're seventy...............who cares?
**********
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you're seventy...............who cares?
*********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you're seventy...............who cares?
**********
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you're seventy...............who cares?

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4187 on: May 18, 2017, 11:41:40 AM »
A teacher asks what their favorite letter is.

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'
The teacher walks to him and says "Why is that, Angus?"

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4188 on: May 18, 2017, 11:50:42 AM »
A teacher asks what their favorite letter is.

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'
The teacher walks to him and says "Why is that, Angus?"

happy001
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4189 on: May 18, 2017, 12:30:48 PM »
A teacher asks what their favorite letter is.

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'
The teacher walks to him and says "Why is that, Angus?"

happy001
happy001 happy001
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4190 on: May 18, 2017, 12:34:05 PM »
And Count Dracula said it was 'O'

Is it time for my Count and paper tape story from 1975?  (I may have told it before)
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4191 on: May 18, 2017, 12:36:52 PM »
And Count Dracula said it was 'O'

Is it time for my Count and paper tape story from 1975?  (I may have told it before)

 noooo:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4192 on: May 21, 2017, 09:44:52 PM »
A teacher asks what their favorite letter is.

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'
The teacher walks to him and says "Why is that, Angus?"

happy001
;D ;D ;D ;D



Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4193 on: Yesterday at 08:12:13 AM »
A teacher asks what their favorite letter is.

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'
The teacher walks to him and says "Why is that, Angus?"

happy001
;D ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair