Author Topic: Holiday complaints  (Read 937 times)

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Offline Pastis

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Holiday complaints
« on: April 29, 2009, 03:12:55 PM »

(A Survey by Thomas Cook and ABTA)   whistle:

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."   
 
"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."   
 
"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."   
 
"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."   
 
A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
 
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.   
 
"The beach was too sandy."   
 
"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."   
 
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.   
 
"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."   
 
"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."   
 
"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."
 
"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."   
 
"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller." 
 
"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"   
 
"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."   
 
"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."   
 
"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."   
 
"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."   
 
"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"

Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Holiday complaints
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2009, 03:27:13 PM »

Offline Pastis

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Re: Holiday complaints
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2009, 03:32:46 PM »
Oooops  redface:
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Holiday complaints
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2009, 03:33:01 PM »
I begin to wonder if these "lists" aren't made up by Travel Agents' staff during those quiet moments of the day when they are tapping their keyboards and ignoring the clients waiting to be spoken to.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Holiday complaints
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2009, 03:34:36 PM »
Oooops  redface:


The standard reply as perfected by, among others, Nick, Growler and Berek has always been "You don't expect me to read all the other shite on here do you?"  whistle:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Pastis

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Re: Holiday complaints
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2009, 03:35:17 PM »
Well, by way of penance here's one that I actually heard:

"Can you tell me, is there a lift that goes to the front of the ship?"
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Holiday complaints
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2009, 03:38:23 PM »
Well, by way of penance here's one that I actually heard:

"Can you tell me, is there a lift that goes to the front of the ship?"


Would be even funnier if you had reported it by way of pennants  ;)
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Pastis

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Re: Holiday complaints
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2009, 03:40:12 PM »
 drumroll:   lol:
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"