Beating the Doctor's Receptionist

[Nick]

 

The receptionists at my doctor's are horrid and bossy. They have been trained to be so. 

Since my spell in hospital last year I have been taking one tablet per day for blood pressure. Last week I lost the packet of pills 

I went to the surgery on Friday and dropped in a request for some more. Yesterday I went in to pick up the prescription. It had been postdated so that I can't cash it till next week. I explained that I needed it now.

They told me to call back later. I did so. They said it was ready. I really couldn't be arsed to go there all over again (it's about 2 miles away) so I said 'I am unable to drive at present' ( ) at which point they said that they had an arrangement with Boots to make up the prescription and have it delivered free to my door. 

It has just arrived

[Uncle Mort]

I drop my repeat prescription at the village chemist and collect a couple of days later. The surgery being 10-15 minutes drive away and in the next county We used to have a 'branch' surgery in the village open for a couple of hours weekday mornings but that was withdrawn.

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

I thought this was just another perversion thread

Just for the record I am in this waiting room because well, I feel bloody awful, whinge.....

[Snoopy]

That is sooooooooooooo wrong.


You go to the doctor and eventually are called into his/her presence.
Their first words are always a variation on:

"Hello and how are you"
and you always say
"Oh not so bad" or something similar.

If you are not so bad why are you there? Why do they ask? Your mere presence should indicate to the trained professional that there is something wrong with you and you want them to do something about it but oh no! ~ "How are you today?" "Fine thanks Doctor"

I pushed this theory forward at my Doctor on one occasion. He said "Good morning and how are you?" and I replied "Fvcking awful". There followed a stunned silence which he finally broke by saying ~ "Well I suppose I'd better have a look at you then" 

Why else did he think I had suffered the obvious disapproval of his receptionist by waiting for almost an hour past the appointment time?

[Nick]

When my pills got delivered I signed for them. Ihad not paid the prescrip charge.

Boots called today and asked me for it.

'Next time I am there,' I said 

[Snoopy]

Who pays prescription charges?


Oh I forgot ~ You lot living in England 

[Uncle Mort]

"How are you today?" "Fine thanks Doctor"

I always found that to be incongruous so I stopped saying it. However the last time I went to see him his first words were "You look awful"   

[Snoopy]

"How are you today?" "Fine thanks Doctor"

I always found that to be incongruous so I stopped saying it. However the last time I went to see him his first words were "You look awful"   

Reminds me of that old Stanley Holloway monologue 


One of the Doctors at our practice has had everything. Doesn't matter what's wrong with you he's had it. Wife says she would like to announce she is pregnant just to see if he has been too.

[Bar Wench]

Who pays prescription charges?


Oh I forgot ~ You lot living in England 

Not funny. 

[Snoopy]

Found it:

MY WORD, YOU DO LOOK QUEER
(Bob Weston / Bert Lee)
Stanley Holloway (Monologue)


I've been very poorly but now I feel prime,
I've been out today for the very first time.
I felt like a lad as I walked down the road,
Then I met Old Jones and he said, 'Well I'm blowed!'
My word you do look queer!
My word you do look queer!
Oh, dear! You look dreadful: you've had a near shave,
You look like a man with one foot in the grave.'
I said, 'Bosh! l'm better; it's true I've been ill.'
He said, 'I'm delighted you're better, but still,
I wish you'd a thousand for me in your will.
My word, you do look queer!'

That didn't improve me, it quite put me back,
Still, I walked farther on, and I met Cousin jack.
He looked at me hard and he murmured,'Gee whiz!
It's like him! It can't be! It isn't! It is!
By gosh! Who'd have thought it? Well, well, I declare!
I'd never have known you except for your hair.
My word you do look queer!
My word you do look queer!
Your cheeks are all sunk and your colour's all gone,
Your neck's very scraggy, still you're getting on.
How old are you now? About fifty, that's true.
Your father died that age, your mother did too.
Well, the black clothes I wore then'll come in for you.
My word! You do look queer!'

That really upset me; I felt quite cast down,
But I tried to buck up, and then up came old Brown.
He stared at me hard, then he solemnly said,
'You shouldn't be out, you should be home in bed.
I heard you were bad, well I heard you were gone.
You look like a corpse with an overcoat on.
'My word you do look queer!
My word you do look queer!
You'd best have a brandy before you drop dead.'
So, pale as a sheet, I crawled in the'King's Head',
The barmaid sobbed,'Oh you poor fellow,' and then
She said, 'On the slate you owe just one pound ten,
You'd better pay up, we shan't see you again.
My word you do look queer!'

My knees started knocking, I did feel so sad.
Then Brown said, 'Don't die in a pub, it looks bad,'
He said, 'Come with me, I'll show you what to do.
Now I've got a friend who'll be useful to you.'
He led me to Black's Undertaking Depot,
And Black, with some crepe round his hat said, 'Hello,
'My word you do look queer!
My word you do look queer!
Now we'll fix you up for a trifling amount.
Now what do you say to a bit on account?'
I said,'I'm not dying.'He said,'Don't say that!
My business of late has been terribly flat,
But I'm telling my wife she can have that new hat!
My word, you do look queer!'

I crawled in the street and I murmured,'I'm done.'
Then up came Old Jenkins and shouted,'By gum!'
'My word you do look well!
My word you do look well!
You're looking fine and in the pink!'
I shouted, 'Am I?... Come and have a drink!
You've put new life in me, I'm sounder than a bell.
By gad! There's life in the old dog yet.
My word I do feel well!'

[Nick]

You do look queer. He would get prosecuted nowadays. Mind you, Lord Mandelson and that.................

[Snoopy]

Who pays prescription charges?


Oh I forgot ~ You lot living in England 

Not funny. 

Sorry <snigger>




Look on the bright side I have to live with the Welsh to get free prescript ................ Oh!  

[Bar Wench]

Who pays prescription charges?


Oh I forgot ~ You lot living in England 

Not funny. 

Sorry <snigger>




Look on the bright side I have to live with the Welsh to get free prescript ................ Oh!  

 

When I was moaning about my stuffed up nasal passages last night Mr Wench said I'd make a good Welsh person! 

[Snoopy]

Who pays prescription charges?


Oh I forgot ~ You lot living in England 

Not funny. 

Sorry <snigger>




Look on the bright side I have to live with the Welsh to get free prescript ................ Oh!  

 

When I was moaning about my stuffed up nasal passages last night Mr Wench said I'd make a good Welsh person! 

Nah ~ you're far too nice.

Remember
An Englishman prays upon his knees
A Scotsman preys upon his neighbours
The Welsh prey upon on another.