My hovercraft is full of eels

[Barman]

We?ve just met some Russians who are staying in a house across the road from us. They speak no English at all and my Russian is limited to ?yes?, ?no? and ?goodbye?.

Miraculously, through a series of hand gestures and grunts Mrs. Barman invited them round to dinner on (we think) Thursday night at (we think) seven?

So, I thought it would be a good idea to print out some useful Russian phrases from the tinterweb so that we could communicate a little ? even if we have to point at the words on the paper.

And that is how I?ve just discovered that Моё судно на воздушной подушке полно угрей is a ?useful Russian phrase? for ?my hovercraft is full of eels?.

Advice please on how I can squeeze this gem into the conversation?

 

[Nick]

I have a terrible story about a hovercraft. In Mexico City. In a job interview. Not good

Also, eels and hovercraft. It is a risk. In my experience, so it could be fun

[Darwins Selection]

I should obtain the Russian for:

1."Have another Vodka?"
2."You're my best mate, you are"


Also, don't eat anything they bring, while they are watching.

It is easy to offend by spitting "speciality of wife's village" into the sink and using Jeyes Fluid as a mouthwash to remove the aftertaste.

[Misunderstood]

We?ve just met some Russians who are staying in a house across the road from us. They speak no English at all and my Russian is limited to ?yes?, ?no? and ?goodbye?.

Miraculously, through a series of hand gestures and grunts Mrs. Barman invited them round to dinner on (we think) Thursday night at (we think) seven?

So, I thought it would be a good idea to print out some useful Russian phrases from the tinterweb so that we could communicate a little ? even if we have to point at the words on the paper.

And that is how I?ve just discovered that Моё судно на воздушной подушке полно угрей is a ?useful Russian phrase? for ?my hovercraft is full of eels?.

Advice please on how I can squeeze this gem into the conversation?

 

Advice:

D'y'know, I have a friend called Nick...  That should introduce the hovercraft/eel subject quite neatly.

That leads me naturally to timorously inquire after the fate of Mexico City...

[Nick]

They have daily earthquakes.........

OK?

[Misunderstood]

They have daily earthquakes.........

OK?

Not OK! - Unless you are responsible for them.   

Give!

[Nick]

 

[Snoopy]

They have daily earthquakes.........

OK?

Not OK! - Unless you are responsible for them.   

Give!

He has been there ~ they now have daily earthquakes ....., QED

[Barman]

We?ve just met some Russians who are staying in a house across the road from us. They speak no English at all and my Russian is limited to ?yes?, ?no? and ?goodbye?.

Miraculously, through a series of hand gestures and grunts Mrs. Barman invited them round to dinner on (we think) Thursday night at (we think) seven?

So, I thought it would be a good idea to print out some useful Russian phrases from the tinterweb so that we could communicate a little ? even if we have to point at the words on the paper.

And that is how I?ve just discovered that Моё судно на воздушной подушке полно угрей is a ?useful Russian phrase? for ?my hovercraft is full of eels?.

Advice please on how I can squeeze this gem into the conversation?

 

Advice:

D'y'know, I have a friend called Nick...  That should introduce the hovercraft/eel subject quite neatly.

That leads me naturally to timorously inquire after the fate of Mexico City...

Yes, I suppose if I can work Nick into the conversation anything is plausible. 

[Grumpmeister]

And that is how I?ve just discovered that Моё судно на воздушной подушке полно угрей is a ?useful Russian phrase? for ?my hovercraft is full of eels?.

Advice please on how I can squeeze this gem into the conversation?

 

Get a trenchcoat and hat and with your best Michael Caine/Harry Palmer impression knock on the door then say the line when they answer....




Either they will think you are nuts (I'll leave Wenchy to add a comment here) or they will be current/former KGB/FSB/ABC/B&Q whatever the current incarnation is and think you are an agent  

[Barman]

And that is how I?ve just discovered that Моё судно на воздушной подушке полно угрей is a ?useful Russian phrase? for ?my hovercraft is full of eels?.

Advice please on how I can squeeze this gem into the conversation?

 

Get a trenchcoat and hat and with your best Michael Caine/Harry Palmer impression knock on the door then say the line when they answer....




Either they will think you are nuts (I'll leave Wenchy to add a comment here) or they will be current/former KGB/FSB/ABC/B&Q whatever the current incarnation is and think you are an agent  

Or they?ll spray me with a lethal dose of polonium? 

[Snoopy]

   "The Corn Grows High In The Ukraine"

[Grumpmeister]

  "but the polonium lies low in the colon"

[Misunderstood]

The elves cavort until the cock crows.

[Barman]

The elves cavort until the cock crows.

Elves or elvers?