Credit Crunch = Good for Sport?

[Barman]

I’m not an expert in matters sporting (as you may well have noticed)…

However, I hear on the wireless that there are fears that limited credit may affect The Premiership and even F1…

I can’t help but think it would be great to see a few football prima donnas forced onto the dole queue because their clubs can no longer afford to pay them a squillion Pounds every time their personal assistant ties their boot laces…

Eventually, they’d crawl back of course and be willing to work for much less… even ‘Hello’ won’t be able to pay them a bag o’ sand for every piece of used toilet paper they can produce… The WAGs would be reduced to pushing a trolley around Lidl…

And F1 would be better too… today’s cars are optimized to the most minute level at the cost of countless millions every season – plus the outrageous salaries that the top drivers can command. I’d be far happier to watch real racing, with identical cars and, um overtaking if anybody can remember it?

Imagine, no ridiculous tire changing rules, no pit stops just 60 laps of pure racing… 

I might even watch it again... 

[Snoopy]

Dream on BM ~ dream on.

[Barman]

I'm dreaming...

UK Honda staff facing redundancy

Staff at Honda in Brackley, Northamptonshire, have been warned they face redundancy after news the Formula One team has been put up for sale.

They have been told they will receive a letter before Christmas confirming they should expect to be made redundant.

Click

They've spent $500m over the past year - complete madness... 

[Snoopy]

Honda's decision makes perfect economic and business sense to me. They have been pouring millions into a bottomless pit with no tangible results and certainly no increased sales of their cars.  F1 authorities have effectively banned any innovations so even the excuse of developments that will eventually filter down to ordinary cars is no longer valid. Be ready for more manufacturers to pull the plug soon.
Once that happens we can get back to real motor racing.

[Barman]

Honda's decision makes perfect economic and business sense to me. They have been pouring millions into a bottomless pit with no tangible results and certainly no increased sales of their cars.  F1 authorities have effectively banned any innovations so even the excuse of developments that will eventually filter down to ordinary cars is no longer valid. Be ready for more manufacturers to pull the plug soon.
Once that happens we can get back to real motor racing.

Yay! 

Like wot I said in the OP then...? 

[Pastis]

Dear Mr Button,

Thank you for your recent application for the new government-backed mortgage interest deferral scheme.

All of us at BigBank’s Frome branch would like to say how distressed we were to hear about your recent redundancy.

You state you were working for “an international car manufacturer” as a “driver and sales rep”. This puts you in the priority list for government assistance. Auto-workers are number 3 on Lord Mandelson’s list of employees deserving of state aid, just after career politicians and housebuilders.

However, we believe you may have misread the admittedly vague terms of the government’s scheme. The mortgage threshold below which the government promises to guarantee an interest payment holiday is £400,000, not £4m. While your dormant Tiny Tycoons account, opened when you were nine, contains only 26p, our credit-scoring department carried out due diligence using reputable free online encyclopedias and believes you may also breach the saving threshold of £16,000 by a margin of more than £30m. A close reading of Heat, Closer and Grazia magazines suggests you are in fact an international motorsport celebrity, which places you third from bottom on Lord Mandelson’s list of deserving causes, just above investment bankers and career politicians.

Therefore, we must regretfully decline your application. We note that your letter was posted from the Principality of Monaco. If you are facing financial pressure, may we suggest you visit the Citizens Advice Bureau there?

On a more positive note, our new friends at Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs think you may still be eligible for their new Elite Platinum income tax rate of 45 per cent. I’m certain they will be in touch shortly.

Yours sincerely,

Robin U. Blind (Manager)

 

(Unashamedly lifted and tweaked from the commentary section of the FT online)

[Snoopy]

 

[Barman]

Dear Mr Button,

Thank you for your recent application for the new government-backed mortgage interest deferral scheme.

All of us at BigBank’s Frome branch would like to say how distressed we were to hear about your recent redundancy.

You state you were working for “an international car manufacturer” as a “driver and sales rep”. This puts you in the priority list for government assistance. Auto-workers are number 3 on Lord Mandelson’s list of employees deserving of state aid, just after career politicians and housebuilders.

However, we believe you may have misread the admittedly vague terms of the government’s scheme. The mortgage threshold below which the government promises to guarantee an interest payment holiday is £400,000, not £4m. While your dormant Tiny Tycoons account, opened when you were nine, contains only 26p, our credit-scoring department carried out due diligence using reputable free online encyclopedias and believes you may also breach the saving threshold of £16,000 by a margin of more than £30m. A close reading of Heat, Closer and Grazia magazines suggests you are in fact an international motorsport celebrity, which places you third from bottom on Lord Mandelson’s list of deserving causes, just above investment bankers and career politicians.

Therefore, we must regretfully decline your application. We note that your letter was posted from the Principality of Monaco. If you are facing financial pressure, may we suggest you visit the Citizens Advice Bureau there?

On a more positive note, our new friends at Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs think you may still be eligible for their new Elite Platinum income tax rate of 45 per cent. I’m certain they will be in touch shortly.

Yours sincerely,

Robin U. Blind (Manager)

 

[Darwins Selection]

Dear Mr Button,

Thank you for your recent application for the new government-backed mortgage interest deferral scheme.

All of us at BigBank’s Frome branch would like to say how distressed we were to hear about your recent redundancy.

You state you were working for “an international car manufacturer” as a “driver and sales rep”. This puts you in the priority list for government assistance. Auto-workers are number 3 on Lord Mandelson’s list of employees deserving of state aid, just after career politicians and housebuilders.

However, we believe you may have misread the admittedly vague terms of the government’s scheme. The mortgage threshold below which the government promises to guarantee an interest payment holiday is £400,000, not £4m. While your dormant Tiny Tycoons account, opened when you were nine, contains only 26p, our credit-scoring department carried out due diligence using reputable free online encyclopedias and believes you may also breach the saving threshold of £16,000 by a margin of more than £30m. A close reading of Heat, Closer and Grazia magazines suggests you are in fact an international motorsport celebrity, which places you third from bottom on Lord Mandelson’s list of deserving causes, just above investment bankers and career politicians.

Therefore, we must regretfully decline your application. We note that your letter was posted from the Principality of Monaco. If you are facing financial pressure, may we suggest you visit the Citizens Advice Bureau there?

On a more positive note, our new friends at Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs think you may still be eligible for their new Elite Platinum income tax rate of 45 per cent. I’m certain they will be in touch shortly.

Yours sincerely,

Robin U. Blind (Manager)

 

Seconded