"Couples swap kidneys in UK first"

[Pastis]

But if you could swap your 'spare' kidney for an extra willy for instance... 

The male stingray has two penises 

Don't know why I remembered that; it sought of stuck in my mind. The fact I mean, before anyone says anything...

[Nick]

Why does it need 2 then? In case it gets lucky?

"Phwoar, look at the gills on them 2" etc.

[Bar Wench]

What would you do with an extra willy?

[Pastis]

What would you do with an extra willy?

Ask a stingray? 

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

What would you do with an extra willy?

Wave it??

Twice the opportunity.

[Pastis]

Ok, look away now / don't read if you're easliy offended...

A stingray's sex can be determined fairly easily based on the presence or absence of claspers, two "penises" connected to the inside of the pelvic fins of male rays. They are usually about the size of your pinky finger on mature specimens and are rolled up into hollow tubes. On juvenile rays, they look like tiny nubs and are a bit harder to identify, but it is still possible to tell males and females apart at this stage. You just need to look a bit closer.
The eggs are fertilized internally after the male inserts one of his claspers into the female's cloaca, which serves dual purposes in defecation and reproduction. In order to accomplish this, the male must grab hold of the female's disc with his mouth and roll underneath her, so that their bellies are facing one another. The actual sex act usually lasts no longer than a couple of seconds. Females can sometimes sustain slight injury during mating when the male bites her, which is why they have evolved thicker, more durable skin than males. If you are trying to breed rays, be sure to pick a male that is the same size or slightly smaller than the female, as a larger male can overwhelm and seriously injure the female in his overzealous mating attempts.

[Nick]

Sounds complicated!

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

Ok, look away now / don't read if you're easliy offended...

A stingray's sex can be determined fairly easily based on the presence or absence of claspers, two "penises" connected to the inside of the pelvic fins of male rays. They are usually about the size of your pinky finger on mature specimens and are rolled up into hollow tubes. On juvenile rays, they look like tiny nubs and are a bit harder to identify, but it is still possible to tell males and females apart at this stage. You just need to look a bit closer.
The eggs are fertilized internally after the male inserts one of his claspers into the female's cloaca, which serves dual purposes in defecation and reproduction. In order to accomplish this, the male must grab hold of the female's disc with his mouth and roll underneath her, so that their bellies are facing one another. The actual sex act usually lasts no longer than a couple of seconds. Females can sometimes sustain slight injury during mating when the male bites her, which is why they have evolved thicker, more durable skin than males. If you are trying to breed rays, be sure to pick a male that is the same size or slightly smaller than the female, as a larger male can overwhelm and seriously injure the female in his overzealous mating attempts.

And I suppose Mrs Ray would say in the afterglow: "Well, I'm buggered"

[Darwins Selection]

Lets just say it bears a resemblance to the female part.. thats where the phrase " like a butchers window " comes from..

We all knew Berek was a 'Loose Liver'.

[Barman]

What is the trick?

Well, I can inform you that the cognoscenti believe that the whole experience is improved if the liver benefits from the attentions of a microwave first! 

With or without maggots? 

Normally without, though it is entirely possible that the presence of said larvae may well enhance the experience! Personally, I wouldn't know!

But you would say that wouldn't you? 

Well of course I would. On the other hand, you appear to be quite well informed on the subject BM - perhaps a cross of this topic with one of the scenes in American Pie would explain the presence of the meat pie in the microwave? (Though in American Pie, it was, IIRC, an apple pie!)

Except it was cold, a week old and covered in maggots... 

I wouldn't touch it with yours let alone mine... 

[Nick]

No way to talk about Landlady's corpse.

How is she by the way? She has been very quiet.

[Barman]

No way to talk about Landlady's corpse.

How is she by the way? She has been very quiet.

No doubt she'll be in here tidying up and stuff while I'm away... 

[Bar Wench]

No way to talk about Landlady's corpse.

How is she by the way? She has been very quiet.

 

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

What is the trick?

Well, I can inform you that the cognoscenti believe that the whole experience is improved if the liver benefits from the attentions of a microwave first! 

With or without maggots? 

Normally without, though it is entirely possible that the presence of said larvae may well enhance the experience! Personally, I wouldn't know!

But you would say that wouldn't you? 

Well of course I would. On the other hand, you appear to be quite well informed on the subject BM - perhaps a cross of this topic with one of the scenes in American Pie would explain the presence of the meat pie in the microwave? (Though in American Pie, it was, IIRC, an apple pie!)

Except it was cold, a week old and covered in maggots... 

I wouldn't touch it with yours let alone mine... 

Well, you would say that wouldn't you? 

[Barman]

What is the trick?

Well, I can inform you that the cognoscenti believe that the whole experience is improved if the liver benefits from the attentions of a microwave first! 

With or without maggots? 

Normally without, though it is entirely possible that the presence of said larvae may well enhance the experience! Personally, I wouldn't know!

But you would say that wouldn't you? 

Well of course I would. On the other hand, you appear to be quite well informed on the subject BM - perhaps a cross of this topic with one of the scenes in American Pie would explain the presence of the meat pie in the microwave? (Though in American Pie, it was, IIRC, an apple pie!)

Except it was cold, a week old and covered in maggots... 

I wouldn't touch it with yours let alone mine... 

Well, you would say that wouldn't you?