Author Topic: Shamelessly stolen... Learn how to speak Chinese...  (Read 233 times)

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Offline Pirate

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Shamelessly stolen... Learn how to speak Chinese...
« on: October 24, 2016, 10:34:08 PM »
1) That's not right........... Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harbouring a fugitive......... Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP............ Kum Hia

4) Stupid Man.......... Dum Fuk

5) Small Horse........... Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach.......Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped the coffee table.... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

8) I think you need a face lift.........Chin Tu Fat.

9) Your body odour is offensive..... Yu Stin Ki Pu

10) Great....... Fa Kin Su Pah.

Offline Pirate

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Re: Shamelessly stolen... Learn how to speak Chinese...
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2017, 04:37:08 PM »
Shamelessly stolen:

Paddy had been drinking at his local pub all day and most of the night, celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'.

Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on me way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
'Damn' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, 'oh bloody damn!'

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.

He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
'Bi' J......I'm in bloody trouble,' he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, so crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No bloody way....'

Eventually, he crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'damn it' and finally falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'

Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was bloody pissed. But how did you know?'

'Mick phoned .. . . You left your wheelchair at the pub.'

Offline Steve

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Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Nick

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Re: Shamelessly stolen... Learn how to speak Chinese...
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2017, 04:44:36 PM »
 :thumbsup:
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Pirate

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Re: Shamelessly stolen... Learn how to speak Chinese...
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2017, 04:45:07 PM »
Whats up with you man? Twice now and this one was from 2009...  noooo: