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Author Topic: Weird people at Gatwick  (Read 6558 times)

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Offline Nick

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Weird people at Gatwick
« on: April 27, 2016, 05:35:49 AM »
Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight

Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I  don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go

I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:
   
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Offline Barman

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2016, 06:20:24 AM »
Quote from: Nick on April 27, 2016, 05:35:49 AM
Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight

Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I  don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go

I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:

happy001
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2016, 06:54:44 AM »
He will now be under surveillance for sure  noooo:

European sex slave trafficking offences against minors to be the next charge  lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2016, 06:55:31 AM »
 evil: scared2:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2016, 08:27:44 AM »
Quote from: Nick on April 27, 2016, 05:35:49 AM
Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight

Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I  don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go

I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:
:thumbsup:

You'd have been distapointed with any other response
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #5 on: April 27, 2016, 12:31:23 PM »
Quote from: Miss Demeanour on April 27, 2016, 06:54:44 AM
He will now be under surveillance for sure  noooo:

European sex slave trafficking offences against minors to be the next charge  lol:

Either that or they think he is a drugs mule ass...  rubschin:
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Offline Miss Creant

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #6 on: April 27, 2016, 01:12:14 PM »
Quote from: Miss Demeanour on April 27, 2016, 06:54:44 AM
He will now be under surveillance for sure  noooo:

European sex slave trafficking offences against minors to be the next charge  lol:

Not sure which is worse cheese smuggling or people smuggling.  Cheesy people smuggling might work. rubschin:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2016, 05:10:39 PM »
Quote from: Nick on April 27, 2016, 05:35:49 AM
Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight

Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I  don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go

I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:

 Thumbs:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #8 on: April 27, 2016, 05:16:17 PM »
When I told a cabby about this earlier he claimed to be a former drug smuggler and asked me what colour jacket I was wearing. Brown.

That's it, he declared, they are bored stiff and they play cusstomer snooker. It was the turn for a brown ball and you were it  rubschin:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #9 on: April 27, 2016, 06:04:37 PM »
Quote from: Nick on April 27, 2016, 05:16:17 PM
When I told a cabby about this earlier he claimed to be a former drug smuggler and asked me what colour jacket I was wearing. Brown.

That's it, he declared, they are bored stiff and they play cusstomer snooker. It was the turn for a brown ball and you were it  rubschin:

When is he moving here ??
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #10 on: April 27, 2016, 09:30:28 PM »
Quote from: Nick on April 27, 2016, 05:35:49 AM
Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight

Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I  don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go

I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:
Bravo  :thumbsup:
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Offline Pirate

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #11 on: April 27, 2016, 10:22:12 PM »
Quote from: Darwins Selection on April 27, 2016, 09:30:28 PM
Quote from: Nick on April 27, 2016, 05:35:49 AM
Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight

Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I  don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go

I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:
Bravo  :thumbsup:

Her, or Nick
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #12 on: April 28, 2016, 12:23:21 AM »
I can just see the Customs Officers staff room when they are on a break...

"You wouldn't believe the oddball that came in today..."
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Offline Nick

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #13 on: April 28, 2016, 05:47:45 AM »
 evil:
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Weird people at Gatwick
« Reply #14 on: April 28, 2016, 10:53:25 PM »
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