I am nearby. I can pop round to make sure all is well 
How many jelly shots can you do and still call yourself a responsible adult?
Ooo jelly shots I remember them, or at least some of them.
OMPH many years ago.
3,000 teenage girls = 6,000 + pubescent boys swarming, therefore there will be a huge TV crew and Sir David Attenborough reporting on the phenomenon. Worry not all will be well.
If Miss D and her gentleman friend come to stay in the Duck and Dildo they can be assured of a very warm and friendly welcome. Fresh linen is of the utmost importance to us, why it was only last September
2011 2012 that it was last changed.
We look forward to their visit and I look forward to sprinkling the sheets with formaldehyde just to make them feel at home and to add that personal touch of which we are so proud. (Snigger).
The Dog and Dildo is indeed a homely, family friendly place. Our aim is to deposit chocolate or something resembling chocolate on the pillow of every guest.
Deposits are our second name.
We deposit at will under certain circumstances please ask for details.
As an elected and upstanding member I wish to declare my interest in the Duck and Dildo. Whilst many may be aware that I use it as a watering hole I also declare that I own a 25% share in the business. Other than that I could not give a flying fuck about the place or who stays there. Unless or until I am approached by a reporter from HELLO magazine in which case they may name their price.
