And the Lord said "Varily, I give you this earth. Brand new and with a 2,000,000 year guarantee and I have appointed the caretakers already.
Huummm! said Eve "How am I going to do the toast and warm the beans? ... I think I'll reject it as unfit for purpose".
"Oh shit!" said the Lord, "I was hoping you wouldn't notice". "You don't want fire, believe me, it's too much trouble and I've left a nice salad recipe for you"
"Want fire - NOW!" stamped Eve. "Bloody wimmen." snorted the Lord "Have your fire, but you lose the 'fire and theft' clause from the guarantee as it too risky."
"Stick your guarantee up your arse." said Eve "I know what I'm doing."
So it came to pass that it was all Eve's fault because she lost the matches and they had to invent nuclear fission.