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Author Topic: Declan the crab  (Read 2644 times)

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Offline Barman

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Declan the crab
« on: April 23, 2007, 01:25:54 PM »
Declan the humble crab and Kate the lobster Princess were deeply in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.

?We can?t see each other any more,? she sobbed. ?Daddy says that crabs are the lowest class of crustacean, and no daughter of his is marrying someone who can only walk sideways.?

Declan was gutted and scuttled away to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the Great Lobster Ball was taking place and lobsters came from far and wide in the seas, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father?s side, inconsolable.

Suddenly, the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The lobsters stopped their dancing, the princess gasped and the King lobster rose from his throne as, slowly and painstakingly, Declan the crab made his way across the floor, walking forwards for all to see! Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he finally looked the King lobster in the eye. There was a deadly silence until, finally, Declan spoke.

?F**k me, I?m pissed!?  ;D
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Offline Nick

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Re: Declan the crab
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2014, 05:24:09 AM »
I just got it  happy001 happy001 happy001
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Offline Tipsy Gipsy

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Re: Declan the crab
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2014, 05:27:39 AM »
 ;D
It's better than I ever even knew.  They say that the world was built for two.  Only worth living if somebody is loving you.  Baby now you do.

Offline Barman

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Re: Declan the crab
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2014, 07:03:52 AM »
 noooo:
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Offline boogs

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Re: Declan the crab
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2014, 09:11:01 AM »
Declan the humble crab and Kate the lobster Princess were deeply in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.

?We can?t see each other any more,? she sobbed. ?Daddy says that crabs are the lowest class of crustacean, and no daughter of his is marrying someone who can only walk sideways.?

Declan was gutted and scuttled away to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the Great Lobster Ball was taking place and lobsters came from far and wide in the seas, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father?s side, inconsolable.

Suddenly, the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The lobsters stopped their dancing, the princess gasped and the King lobster rose from his throne as, slowly and painstakingly, Declan the crab made his way across the floor, walking forwards for all to see! Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he finally looked the King lobster in the eye. There was a deadly silence until, finally, Declan spoke.

?F**k me, I?m pissed!?  ;D
I just got it  happy001 happy001 happy001
lol: lol: happy100
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Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

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Re: Declan the crab
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2014, 10:15:23 AM »
Better late than never I suppose . . .       noooo:
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Declan the crab
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2014, 12:13:40 PM »
Declan the humble crab and Kate the lobster Princess were deeply in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.

?We can?t see each other any more,? she sobbed. ?Daddy says that crabs are the lowest class of crustacean, and no daughter of his is marrying someone who can only walk sideways.?

Declan was gutted and scuttled away to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the Great Lobster Ball was taking place and lobsters came from far and wide in the seas, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father?s side, inconsolable.

Suddenly, the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The lobsters stopped their dancing, the princess gasped and the King lobster rose from his throne as, slowly and painstakingly, Declan the crab made his way across the floor, walking forwards for all to see! Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he finally looked the King lobster in the eye. There was a deadly silence until, finally, Declan spoke.

?F**k me, I?m pissed!?  ;D

David Niven, about 1970.  :thumbsup:
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