The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on February 10, 2017, 02:11:01 PM
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I have to get the project finished by next Friday as Nod and I are off on a road trip (what with Miss I being away, like sad24: sad24: )
What can possibly go wrong?
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How many more diversionary activities can you find to do ??
This poor project noooo:
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It's for Hammersmith and Fulham Council who are tossers.
Anyhoo, we are dropping in on Pasties :thumbsup:
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Our tri borough partners ...how dare you lol:
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Everyone passes the buck and all the docs I ask for come back marked "DRAFT" just in case someone points out they are crap noooo:
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You are lucky you get the docs you ask for in whatever format noooo:
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I am still waiting for the critical one. No one can seem to find it ::)
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Well going away next Friday is looking exceptionally optimistic lol:
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Well going away next Friday is looking exceptionally optimistic lol:
surely the exceptionally optimistic bit is the getting back home again part
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Let's not worry too much about that eh ;)
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sad32:
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It's all going a bit pear shaped noooo:
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It's all going a bit pear shaped noooo:
A 'bit'...? noooo:
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It's complicated evil:
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It's complicated evil:
We have time
Popcorn:
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It just got more complicated evil:
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It just got more complicated evil:
rubschin:
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It's complicated evil:
We have time
Popcorn:
Speak for yourself
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It's complicated evil:
We have time
Popcorn:
Speak for yourself
Does your man have time?
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Gonna be April now cussing:
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It just got more complicated evil:
I just got more Popcorn
Popcorn: Popcorn:
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Gonna be April now cussing:
No still Feb here ......... rubschin:
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Gonna be April now cussing:
No still Feb here ......... rubschin:
drumroll:
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Gonna be April now cussing:
I told you before, let Nod navigate.. noooo:
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Gonna be April now
You having a sex change?
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Gonna be April now
You having a sex change?
lol: lol: lol:
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Gonna be April now
You having a sex change?
lol: lol: lol:
Nickola? rubschin:
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cussing:
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Right. All booked for April 4th cloud9:
What can possibly go wrong?
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Right. All booked for April 4th cloud9:
What can possibly go wrong?
I'm not sure that the server that hosts this site has enough storage to handle a list that long.... noooo:
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::)
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Right. All booked for April 4th cloud9:
What can possibly go wrong?
Plane leaves on the third...? whistle:
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Sodding Spanish car hire companies insist on a sodding credit card cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Sodding Spanish car hire companies insist on a sodding credit card cussing: cussing: cussing:
They know you ......... rubschin:
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All sorted out now evil:
Air BnB is a wonderful thing cloud9:
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All sorted out now evil:
Air BnB is a wonderful thing cloud9:
A lilo on the beach ....... rubschin:
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All sorted out now evil:
Air BnB is a wonderful thing cloud9:
A lilo on the beach ....... rubschin:
(https://s32.postimg.org/g9x0v2c35/shoebox_ipssfn.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/g9x0v2c35/)
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Child ::)
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Child ::)
Half price then? Thumbs:
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I am surrounded by idiots
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I am surrounded by idiots
Are you back in that hall of mirrors again? noooo:
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3 and a half more sleeps (have to be at the hairyport at 5.00 a.m. evil:)
I am driving the wrong way round car along the Highway of Death and then up many hairypin bends into the mountains while Nod navigates.
What can possibly...............etc?
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3 and a half more sleeps (have to be at the hairyport at 5.00 a.m. evil:)
I am driving the wrong way round car along the Highway of Death and then up many hairypin bends into the mountains while Nod navigates.
What can possibly...............etc?
rubschin: so many options.
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3 and a half more sleeps (have to be at the hairyport at 5.00 a.m. evil:)
I am driving the wrong way round car along the Highway of Death and then up many hairypin bends into the mountains while Nod navigates.
What can possibly...............etc?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fporthurondrycleaning.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2015%2F08%2Ftroy-dry-cleaning-slide-21.jpg&hash=67e80a639dece9fef3b094d7ef805d98d2852cd0) (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c2/4f/8f/c24f8f3f8d2a74929048c91de89f63b1.jpg)
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Nod, who is (rightly) terrified of wimmin nearly had a fit when I told him that my friend Suzi had asked if she could tag along eeek:
Any way, she isn't now, but he is still shaking. noooo:
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How can he be terrified of wimmin but is fine with the prospect of a road journey with you ? noooo: noooo: noooo:
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He's not. He is frightened of driving, being driven, motorways, winding roads, going too fast, getting lost and being beheaded noooo:
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He's not. He is frightened of driving, being driven, motorways, winding roads, going too fast, getting lost and being beheaded noooo:
How does he get out of his front door?
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Taxi to the pub and back noooo:
He regards me as his saviour and defender ....................
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
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Care in the community noooo:
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But who cares for who?
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When we went to Barcelona last year his mum called me to check he was OK. He is 63 noooo:
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He's not. He is frightened of driving, being driven, motorways, winding roads, going too fast, getting lost and being beheaded noooo:
So is going on holiday with you some kind of intense calamity based exposure therapy? rubschin:
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Nod reports that he is anxious to get to Spain as he is concerned about his Vitamin D levels and needs sunshine facepalm:
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Nod is now anxious that Michael Howard's implied declaration of war on Spain may expose us to risk of attack facepalm:
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Nod is now anxious that Michael Howard's implied declaration of war on Spain may expose us to risk of attack facepalm:
Declare war on Michael Howard instead. He is an grade A arse
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Nod is now anxious that Michael Howard's implied declaration of war on Spain may expose us to risk of attack facepalm:
Easy solution, just let the Spanish news services know that old Nick and his hobbit sidekick are in the area bringing doom and calamity with them. That should keep them away. rubschin:
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They are on their way at last.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye5BuYf8q4o (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye5BuYf8q4o)
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They are on their way at last.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye5BuYf8q4o (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye5BuYf8q4o)
lol: lol: lol:
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They are on their way at last.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye5BuYf8q4o (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye5BuYf8q4o)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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We somehow managed to get lost ON THE WAY to the airport this morning and had to do a 20 mile detour on the M42 noooo:
Driving one of those stupid supersize Fiat 500s cussing:
Got massively lost in Ronda and eventually parked and went for a beer. Asked the barman if he knew the address of the place we were staying and he said, "Yes, you are parked outside it." redface:
Nod closed his eyes on the mountain roads noooo:
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We somehow managed to get lost ON THE WAY to the airport this morning and had to do a 20 mile detour on the M42 noooo:
Driving one of those stupid supersize Fiat 500s cussing:
Got massively lost in Ronda and eventually parked and went for a beer. Asked the barman if he knew the address of the place we were staying and he said, "Yes, you are parked outside it." redface:
Nod closed his eyes on the mountain roads noooo:
You're in Wales? eeek:
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Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
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We somehow managed to get lost ON THE WAY to the airport this morning and had to do a 20 mile detour on the M42 noooo:
Driving one of those stupid supersize Fiat 500s cussing:
Got massively lost in Ronda and eventually parked and went for a beer. Asked the barman if he knew the address of the place we were staying and he said, "Yes, you are parked outside it." redface:
Nod closed his eyes on the mountain roads noooo:
You're in Wales? eeek:
"Andy and Lucys valley B&B"
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We somehow managed to get lost ON THE WAY to the airport this morning and had to do a 20 mile detour on the M42 noooo:
Driving one of those stupid supersize Fiat 500s cussing:
Got massively lost in Ronda and eventually parked and went for a beer. Asked the barman if he knew the address of the place we were staying and he said, "Yes, you are parked outside it." redface:
Nod closed his eyes on the mountain roads noooo:
You're in Wales? eeek:
"Andy and Lucys valley B&B"
:thumbsup:
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We somehow managed to get lost ON THE WAY to the airport this morning and had to do a 20 mile detour on the M42 noooo:
Driving one of those stupid supersize Fiat 500s cussing:
Got massively lost in Ronda and eventually parked and went for a beer. Asked the barman if he knew the address of the place we were staying and he said, "Yes, you are parked outside it." redface:
Nod closed his eyes on the mountain roads noooo:
lol:
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Baffled by modern technology, Nd has so far taken the coffee machine to bits trying to make coffee, locked us in the flat by accident and has now failed to figure out how the shower werks facepalm:
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Baffled by modern technology, Nd has so far taken the coffee machine to bits trying to make coffee, locked us in the flat by accident and has now failed to figure out how the shower werks facepalm:
memo to self: never ever put a property out on Air BnB
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Baffled by modern technology, Nd has so far taken the coffee machine to bits trying to make coffee, locked us in the flat by accident and has now failed to figure out how the shower werks facepalm:
memo to self: never ever put a property out on Air BnB
We had some friends staying here and he managed to destroy the top off the kettle in the process of trying to put water in it... noooo:
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Baffled by modern technology, Nd has so far taken the coffee machine to bits trying to make coffee, locked us in the flat by accident and has now failed to figure out how the shower werks facepalm:
Nick, Nod and Baldymort. The Unholy Trinity.... noooo:
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Baffled by modern technology, Nd has so far taken the coffee machine to bits trying to make coffee, locked us in the flat by accident and has now failed to figure out how the shower werks facepalm:
memo to self: never ever put a property out on Air BnB
We had some friends staying here and he managed to destroy the top off the kettle in the process of trying to put water in it... noooo:
"A friend" char048
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Baffled by modern technology, Nd has so far taken the coffee machine to bits trying to make coffee, locked us in the flat by accident and has now failed to figure out how the shower werks facepalm:
memo to self: never ever put a property out on Air BnB
We had some friends staying here and he managed to destroy the top off the kettle in the process of trying to put water in it... noooo:
"A friend" char048
evil:
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A coffee and beer punctuated exploration of Ronda led us to the impressive bull ring.
An Italian bloke with a huge camera communicated that he wanted Nod to pose for a picture. It transpired that Nod's diminutive stature allowed the Italian to use him for scale and to make the place look even bigger than it actually is. noooo:
In other news our host for the Air BnB in Granada which we have booked and paid for for three nights has vanished without trace scared2: scared2:
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A coffee and beer punctuated exploration of Ronda led us to the impressive bull ring.
An Italian bloke with a huge camera communicated that he wanted Nod to pose for a picture. It transpired that Nod's diminutive stature allowed the Italian to use him for scale and to make the place look even bigger than it actually is. noooo:
In other news our host for the Air BnB in Granada which we have booked and paid for for three nights has vanished without trace scared2: scared2:
Seeing as he is at the airport anyway I can see a potential side business for TMR..... rubschin:
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drumroll:
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Nod says it is beer o'clock :thumbsup:
It has been beer o'clock since 11.30 this morning noooo:
I am ignoring the parking ticket on the hire car angel1
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Nod says it is beer o'clock :thumbsup:
It has been beer o'clock since 11.30 this morning noooo:
I am ignoring the parking ticket on the hire car angel1
kerrrrr-chiiiiiing! point:
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Feck moi. Fantastic food, I got to kiss the laydee chef cloud9:
Prawn ice cream! Choc truffles, Lamb tagine cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
No pizza cloud9:
cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
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Feck moi. Fantastic food, I got to kiss the laydee chef cloud9:
Dios Todopoderoso, ¿en qué me he metido? Mi primer día trabajando como chef y termino siendo molestado por un borracho wierdo de jengibre. No me pagan lo suficiente para lidiar con esa porquería..
Sounds like Nick is doing wonders for Anglo/Spanish relations... noooo:
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SO, off to Granada. Nod is navigating noooo: noooo:
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SO, off to Granada. Nod is navigating noooo: noooo:
New tellybox? :thumbsup:
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SO, off to Granada. Nod is navigating noooo: noooo:
New tellybox? :thumbsup:
And rental as well ........... cloud9:
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Nod resigned (rightly) as navigator after we took 5 wrong turnings in the first 2 miles Banghead Banghead Banghead
We have parked our car in a car park in Granada but we forgot to write down its name or location Banghead Banghead Banghead
Anyhoo, all seems to be well, though Nod is again struggling with the shower controls noooo:
https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/16934183?eal_exp=1493994285&eal_sig=ad9987e44ca64d1f1e634fa9933ea4a158121a47d3ad13471a3d19494c417d5a&eal_uid=72245575&eluid=1&euid=8bb6d729-3430-7240-c10c-256ed69b8589&$original_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.airbnb.co.uk%2Frooms%2F16934183%3Feal_exp%3D1493994285%26eal_sig%3Dad9987e44ca64d1f1e634fa9933ea4a158121a47d3ad13471a3d19494c417d5a%26eal_uid%3D72245575%26eluid%3D1%26euid%3D8bb6d729-3430-7240-c10c-256ed69b8589&$3p=e_eml&campaign=rookery&$deeplink_path=airbnb%3A%2F%2Fd%2Flisting%3Fid%3D16934183&_branch_match_id=375577147478259796 (https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/16934183?eal_exp=1493994285&eal_sig=ad9987e44ca64d1f1e634fa9933ea4a158121a47d3ad13471a3d19494c417d5a&eal_uid=72245575&eluid=1&euid=8bb6d729-3430-7240-c10c-256ed69b8589&$original_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.airbnb.co.uk%2Frooms%2F16934183%3Feal_exp%3D1493994285%26eal_sig%3Dad9987e44ca64d1f1e634fa9933ea4a158121a47d3ad13471a3d19494c417d5a%26eal_uid%3D72245575%26eluid%3D1%26euid%3D8bb6d729-3430-7240-c10c-256ed69b8589&$3p=e_eml&campaign=rookery&$deeplink_path=airbnb%3A%2F%2Fd%2Flisting%3Fid%3D16934183&_branch_match_id=375577147478259796)
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Knock knock
Me: Who is it
Nod: Me. I am locked out
Me: The door is not locked
Nod: It is now. I locked it.
Me: Well, you have the keys
Nod: How do I unlock it
Me: With the keys
Nod: It won't unlock
Me: What do you expect me to do?
Nod: Advise me
It is a miracle he made it past childhood noooo:
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SO, off to Granada. Nod is navigating noooo: noooo:
New tellybox? :thumbsup:
And rental as well ........... cloud9:
An bastard earworm as well! evil:
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Knock knock
Me: Who is it
Nod: Me. I am locked out
Me: The door is not locked
Nod: It is now. I locked it.
Me: Well, you have the keys
Nod: How do I unlock it
Me: With the keys
Nod: It won't unlock
Me: What do you expect me to do?
Nod: Advise me
It is a miracle he made it past childhood noooo:
Sounds like your apprentice shambles is coming on nicely.... scared2:
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I notice he has started mumbling to himself a lot noooo:
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INCREDIBLY, I have just had to teach Nod how to use a corkscrew!! eeek:
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INCREDIBLY, I have just had to teach Nod how to use a corkscrew!! eeek:
You lazy sod... noooo:
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He was in charge of opening the collapso while I was doing something else. He was making a total dog's breakfast of it Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
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INCREDIBLY, I have just had to teach Nod how to use a corkscrew!! eeek:
You know the old adage that if you want to make someone look tall stand them next to a short person?
This is the 'if you want to make someone look smart' equivalent isn't it
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evil:
That third bottle of red was NOT a good idea NickSick
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INCREDIBLY, I have just had to teach Nod how to use a corkscrew!! eeek:
You know the old adage that if you want to make someone look tall stand them next to a short person?
This is the 'if you want to make someone look smart' equivalent isn't it
happy001
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Nod excelled himself at the ALhambra by having simultaneous attacks of claustrophobia and vertigo noooo:
Rooted to the spot in terror, the only way I could get him out was by holding his hand sick2:
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Nod excelled himself at the ALhambra by having simultaneous attacks of claustrophobia and vertigo noooo:
Rooted to the spot in terror, the only way I could get him out was by holding his hand sick2:
noooo:
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Anyhoo, having vowed this morning never to touch another drop we are now experimenting with a range of local collapso redface:
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Anyhoo, having vowed this morning never to touch another drop we are now experimenting with a range of local collapso redface:
:thumbsup:
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SO far today nothing has gone wrong except neither of can recall where we parked the car scared2:
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SO far today nothing has gone wrong except neither of can recall where we parked the car scared2:
(https://s30.postimg.org/yftpvpm5p/car-clamp.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/yftpvpm5p/)
facepalm:
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Oh noes, we left it in a nunderground car park and then caught a taxi. Trouble is......................
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Oh noes, we left it in a nunderground car park and then caught a taxi. Trouble is......................
I can see the headlines now "Suspicious looking pair detained for loitering around car parks" noooo:
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redface:
Anyway, Saturday is Flamenco dancing night in a nearby cave :thumbsup:
What can possibly go wrong?
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redface:
Anyway, Saturday is Flamenco dancing night in a nearby cave :thumbsup:
What can possibly go wrong?
1) the cave is an underground car park
2) multiple dances on roof of your hire car
Happy to help! :thumbsup:
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Well, Nod is fretting, so off we go to see what adventures we can have :thumbsup:
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Well, Nod is fretting, so off we go to see what adventures we can have :thumbsup:
Playing hide and seek with cars?
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Been up to the cave area but it was full of Japs taking selfies so we are back at base with some collapso. Nod is still puzzled by corkscrews noooo: noooo: noooo:
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Nod: The bathroom is flooded
Me: Yes, the shower curtain fell down
Nod: I shall mop it up
Sound of mopping
Later
Me: The bathroom is flooded
Nod: Yes, the shower curtain fell down
Me: You had better mop it
SOund of mopping
Repeat for all eternity noooo:
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Nod: The bathroom is flooded
Me: Yes, the shower curtain fell down
Nod: I shall mop it up
Sound of mopping
Later
Me: The bathroom is flooded
Nod: Yes, the shower curtain fell down
Me: You had better mop it
SOund of mopping
Repeat for all eternity noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
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We are alive and finally have wifi evil:
AND NO MANUEL, WE PLAN TO USE BOTH BEDROOMS AS WE ARE NOT GAYERS cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Had lunch with Pasties earlier cloud9:
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We are alive and finally have wifi evil:
AND NO MANUEL, WE PLAN TO USE BOTH BEDROOMS AS WE ARE NOT GAYERS cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Had lunch with Pasties earlier cloud9:
Gayers... noooo:
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Even I we were gay I would not fancy Nod sick2:
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Even I we were gay I would not fancy Nod sick2:
You took him on holibobs with you... whistle:
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Only because he is like a helpless animal who can barely find his arse with both hands ::)
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Only because he is like a helpless animal who can barely find his arse with both hands ::)
Defenceless you say...? whistle:
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cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Only because he is like a helpless animal who can barely find his arse with both hands ::)
A perfect match you say... rubschin:
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cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Anyhoo, as soon as we have recalled where we parked the car we shall be off to the hairyport :thumbsup:
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At the airport
Nod: Where do we go?
Me: Departures
Nod: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, why?
Nod: Well we just got here and that sign says "Arrivals", so should we go there first?
facepalm:
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At the airport
Nod: Where do we go?
Me: Departures
Nod: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, why?
Nod: Well we just got here and that sign says "Arrivals", so should we go there first?
facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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At the airport
Nod: Where do we go?
Me: Departures
Nod: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, why?
Nod: Well we just got here and that sign says "Arrivals", so should we go there first?
facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
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NickSick NickSick
The automated passport control was a bridge too far for Nod who stood with his back to the face recognition camera noooo:
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NickSick NickSick
The automated passport control was a bridge too far for Nod who stood with his back to the face recognition camera noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
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He wants to go back and do Galicia and the North West. I suggested it might be time for him to go solo noooo:
It's a miracle he survived childhood. His mum phoned every day to check he was OK noooo:
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He wants to go back and do Galicia and the North West. I suggested it might be time for him to go solo noooo:
It's a miracle he survived childhood. His mum phoned every day to check he was OK noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
Perhaps he should take mum next time...?
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She has more sense noooo:
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She has more sense than me noooo:
whistle:
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redface:
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He wants to go back and do Galicia and the North West. I suggested it might be time for him to go solo noooo:
It's a miracle he survived childhood. His mum phoned every day to check he was OK noooo:
Queen's birthday honours soon. An MBE for Nick for services to the terminally stupid?
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He wants to go back and do Galicia and the North West. I suggested it might be time for him to go solo noooo:
It's a miracle he survived childhood. His mum phoned every day to check he was OK noooo:
Queen's birthday honours soon. An MBE for Nick for services to the terminally stupid?
Which one of us ......... rubschin:
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Reading through all this again I can't help but wonder if Nod is pranking Nick and just pretending to be so clueless.... rubschin:
You have to admit it does seem to be an effective way to wind him up. whistle:
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rubschin: