The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on January 23, 2017, 06:53:09 PM
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Item on the local news includes a call for volunteers.............. rubschin:
I have quite a lot of free time and have been thinking about something to get myself out of the house rubschin:
I like canals cloud9:
I have therefore volunteered to be a canal lock-keeper angel1
What can possibly go wrong? rubschin:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fuk.boats.com%2Fboat-content%2Ffiles%2F1-The-recent-lock-sinkage-on-the-Kennet-and-Avon-Canal-in-Bath-was-a-perversely-attractive-opportunity-for-a-spot-of-gloating.jpg&hash=be15683570566d51dbb0d1227c212eaf39bc7668)
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::)
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All in a day's work
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fichef.bbci.co.uk%2Fnews%2F624%2Fcpsprodpb%2F124D3%2Fproduction%2F_86336947_72868722.jpg&hash=80dc35fd1e2250a1ec8d736c8af423d00c018de1)
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:thumbsup:
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Item on the local news includes a call for volunteers.............. rubschin:
I have quite a lot of free time and have been thinking about something to get myself out of the house rubschin:
I like canals cloud9:
I have therefore volunteered to be a canal lock-keeper angel1
What can possibly go wrong? rubschin:
Free house ....... rubschin:
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Thanks. Make mine a double. And a half of mild for Uncle :thumbsup:
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Thanks. Make mine a double. And a half of mild for Uncle :thumbsup:
eeek: eeek:
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Why at this time they were asking for volunteers?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fl7.alamy.com%2Fzooms%2Fb6a8d7565f3e49329b38cbd13d7a1931%2Ffrozen-lock-on-the-chesterfield-canal-in-nottinghamshire-january-2010-bghba2.jpg&hash=cb192d192132e9a31a4b528e22fb373550a9ae4c)
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rubschin:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fuk.boats.com%2Fboat-content%2Ffiles%2F1-The-recent-lock-sinkage-on-the-Kennet-and-Avon-Canal-in-Bath-was-a-perversely-attractive-opportunity-for-a-spot-of-gloating.jpg&hash=be15683570566d51dbb0d1227c212eaf39bc7668)
happy001
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evil:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi3.examiner.co.uk%2Fincoming%2Farticle7616914.ece%2FALTERNATES%2Fs615%2FJS44030377.jpg&hash=6c36d88151c6a44d97ffdb9e51baf7c769564129)
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.images.itv.com%2Fimage%2Ffile%2F113486%2Fimage_update_ad18e312767199a8_1351837221_9j-4aaqsk.jpeg&hash=d31b9b7286f0b2618022fe9e45929a3e1edc1d67)
Damn it, that wasn't meant to happen. redface:
rubschin:
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I have been invited to an meeting about it cloud9:
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I have been invited to an meeting about it cloud9:
Top Tip: don't travel by boat to it, best to arrive on time, sober and not all sweaty from multiple lockery
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Miss I is eager for me to take her up the Erewash asap cloud9:
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Miss I is eager for me to take her up the Erewash asap cloud9:
:thumbsup:
You sure she didn't say "'ere wash for a change"
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I have been invited to an meeting about it cloud9:
Top Tip: Wear a patch over one eye and talk like a pirate! :thumbsup:
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rubschin:
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(https://s29.postimg.org/fomvmjmlf/230px_Horatio_Mc_Callister.png) (https://postimg.org/image/fomvmjmlf/)
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cloud9:
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I have been invited to an meeting about it cloud9:
Top Tip: Wear a patch over one eye and talk like a pirate! :thumbsup:
Tip 2: Don't say "Avast behind"
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I have been invited to an meeting about it cloud9:
Top Tip: Wear a patch over one eye and talk like a pirate! :thumbsup:
Tip 2: Don't say "Avast behind"
Or roger the cabin boy... facepalm:
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lol: lol: lol:
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Is this just a way of avoiding employing someone properly like ...is the Canal unionised? lol:
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Is this just a way of avoiding employing someone properly like ...is the Canal unionised? lol:
Delusions of grandeur You say?
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I have been invited to an meeting about it cloud9:
Preemptive damage control you say.... rubschin:
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First half day of training on Tuesday cloud9:
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First half day of training on Tuesday cloud9:
Midlands Today will be essential viewing
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cloud9:
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:dogrun:
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Hope it goes well Nick
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Hope it goes well Nick
It won't... noooo:
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I'm half expecting to hear about a Titanick stylee disaster... noooo:
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What FUN!!
I get an uniform, an hat, choc biscuits and I have to go on a VHF Maritime radio course, like cloud9:
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What FUN!!
I get an uniform, an hat, choc biscuits and I have to go on a VHF Maritime radio course, like cloud9:
:thumbsup:
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And the lock gates are hydraulic so I have lots of different coloured buttons to press cloud9:
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And the lock gates are hydraulic so I have lots of different coloured buttons to press cloud9:
No windy handle...? cry:
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Nope. And I can also control boat traffic lights :thumbsup:
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And the lock gates are hydraulic so I have lots of different coloured buttons to press cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifs.gifme.io%2Fi%2F6d07a4061d.gif&hash=838638db5ec6770c8df8dea18843f4b17ee74ab8)
scared2:
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And the lock gates are hydraulic so I have lots of different coloured buttons to press cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifs.gifme.io%2Fi%2F6d07a4061d.gif&hash=838638db5ec6770c8df8dea18843f4b17ee74ab8)
scared2:
scared2: scared2:
lol:
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It is a bit like that redface: and all the buttons are mahoosive cloud9:
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And the lock gates are hydraulic so I have lots of different coloured buttons to press cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifs.gifme.io%2Fi%2F6d07a4061d.gif&hash=838638db5ec6770c8df8dea18843f4b17ee74ab8)
scared2:
scared2: scared2:
(https://s24.postimg.org/58rzmyx9d/crop_558045fbb6419_img_ID12854681.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/58rzmyx9d/)
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Anyhoo, I was here today cloud9:
(https://s12.postimg.org/m6793qdmx/20170228_093904.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/m6793qdmx/)
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Anyhoo, I was here today cloud9:
(https://s12.postimg.org/m6793qdmx/20170228_093904.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/m6793qdmx/)
I'm guessing that is the 'before' picture... rubschin:
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Anyhoo, I was here today cloud9:
(https://s12.postimg.org/m6793qdmx/20170228_093904.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/m6793qdmx/)
You fell in you say?
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Anyhoo, I was here today cloud9:
(https://s12.postimg.org/m6793qdmx/20170228_093904.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/m6793qdmx/)
And gone tomorrow...? whistle:
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It's big and can take twelve narrow boats at once cloud9:
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It's big and can take twelve narrow boats at once cloud9:
How many normal ones then......... rubschin:
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evil:
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It is a bit like that redface: and all the buttons are mahoosive cloud9:
http://youtu.be/b8DVFNMstZc (http://youtu.be/b8DVFNMstZc)
"I am Nick..."
rubschin:
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First day of training with "Pam" yesterday.
Loads of Elf and Safety stuff, learned how to chuck rescue ropes properly like angel1 and learned how to use a defibr defibre debirel electric heart machine.
Got home and slept for 12 hours redface:
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VHF Radio exam tomorrow. This text book is doing my head in noooo:
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VHF Radio exam tomorrow. This text book is doing my head in noooo:
Pimpsy... Thumbs:
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VHF Radio exam tomorrow. This text book is doing my head in noooo:
You only really need to remember 3 things:
1. "MAYDAY" - Standard Nickesque cock up, person in imminent danger and rescue urgently needed
2. "PAN PAN PAN" - Minor Nickesque cock up, person not in imminent danger but still serious and rescue needed.
3. "SECURITE" - Navigation hazard such as a submerged log or the Ginger Shambles in charge of a lock...
:thumbsup:
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::)
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VHF Radio exam tomorrow. This text book is doing my head in noooo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OBZf0QdKdE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OBZf0QdKdE)
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I passed and I am now licenced to send Mayday messages angel1 angel1
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I passed and I am now licenced to send Mayday messages angel1 angel1
Yankee Alpha Yankee! :thumbsup:
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I passed and I am now licenced to send Mayday messages angel1 angel1
Thumbs: Thumbs:
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I passed and I am now licenced to send Mayday messages angel1 angel1
So they worked out they would be the only messages you'd ever need
Seriously: :thumbsup:
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I passed and I am now licenced to send Mayday messages angel1 angel1
So they worked out they would be the only messages you'd ever need
Seriously: :thumbsup:
lol: lol:
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Nick's first day in charge ends in chaos:
(https://s11.postimg.org/4yy9ffon3/barge.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/4yy9ffon3/)
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Nick's first day in charge ends in chaos:
(https://s11.postimg.org/4yy9ffon3/barge.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/4yy9ffon3/)
lol: lol: lol:
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::)
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Nick's first day in charge ends in chaos:
(https://s11.postimg.org/4yy9ffon3/barge.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/4yy9ffon3/)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Nick's first day in charge ends in chaos:
(https://s11.postimg.org/4yy9ffon3/barge.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/4yy9ffon3/)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Nick's first day in charge ends in chaos:
(https://s11.postimg.org/4yy9ffon3/barge.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/4yy9ffon3/)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Nick's first day in charge ends in chaos:
(https://s11.postimg.org/4yy9ffon3/barge.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/4yy9ffon3/)
happy002 happy002 happy002
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evil:
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The canal and river trust is looking for "Ambassadors" to extol the wonders of canals at the Manchester Gay Pride Festival. Perhaps they are hoping a few would like to be taken up the Mersey rubschin:
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The canal and river trust is looking for "Ambassadors" to extol the wonders of canals at the Manchester Gay Pride Festival. Perhaps they are hoping a few would like to be taken up the Mersey rubschin:
Well volunteered Mr Nick...
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No, I decided to blow them out angel1
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No, I blew them out angel1
I take it they were impressed by your dedication to the ambassadorial role then... whistle:
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No, I blew them out angel1
I take it they were impressed by your dedication to the ambassadorial role then... whistle:
drumroll:
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The canal and river trust is looking for "Ambassadors" to extol the wonders of canals at the Manchester Gay Pride Festival. Perhaps they are hoping a few would like to be taken up the Mersey rubschin:
(https://s4.postimg.org/ujy6de2zd/canal_street.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ujy6de2zd/)
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Mr Thread?
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The canal and river trust is looking for "Ambassadors" to extol the wonders of canals at the Manchester Gay Pride Festival. Perhaps they are hoping a few would like to be taken up the Mersey rubschin:
(https://s4.postimg.org/ujy6de2zd/canal_street.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ujy6de2zd/)
happy001
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Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
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Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Ooooh, what an anal treet... Gayer:
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I will send a message to LL about you secret desires. angel1
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I will send a message to LL about you secret desires. angel1
She won't know which way to turn
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I will send a message to LL about you secret desires. angel1
Give her a ring you say?
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Next training session booked for Monday angel1
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Get to work the hydraulics at Stoke Bardolph today cloud9:
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Get to work the hydraulics at Stoke Bardolph today cloud9:
(https://s29.postimg.org/69cnvgatf/mt-stourbridge.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/69cnvgatf/)
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horn:
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Behold my knobs and buttons cloud9:
(https://s22.postimg.org/ymdppow65/IMG_0644_1.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ymdppow65/)
(https://s21.postimg.org/p3fdjq0c3/IMG_0645.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/p3fdjq0c3/)
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Behold my knobs and buttons cloud9:
(https://s22.postimg.org/ymdppow65/IMG_0644_1.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ymdppow65/)
(https://s21.postimg.org/p3fdjq0c3/IMG_0645.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/p3fdjq0c3/)
Cor! :thumbsup:
Just don't touch that red button . . .
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I was having special practice with the red buttons, like cloud9:
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I was having special practice with the red buttons, like cloud9:
The emergency button...? ::)
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horn:
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horn:
The emergency klaxon...?
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I was having special practice with the red buttons, like cloud9:
! No longer available (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3WqBFPhdKM#)
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AN entertaining day at the lock. Highlight was the arrival of a very large and posh looking fibre glass cruiser closely followed by a bizarre home made boat modelled on the Batmobile. Owner/driver was a woman who looked like Catweazle. SHe was heading straight for the cruiser and yelled, "I am new to this, how do I stop?" eeek:
Ropes were thrown noooo:
Turns out she had built it herself! She had no teeth and the roof of the boat was decorated with stuffed cats.
I asked where she was header for and she said she didn't know.
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AN entertaining day at the lock. Highlight was the arrival of a very large and posh looking fibre glass cruiser closely followed by a bizarre home made boat modelled on the Batmobile. Owner/driver was a woman who looked like Catweazle. SHe was heading straight for the cruiser and yelled, "I am new to this, how do I stop?" eeek:
Ropes were thrown noooo:
Turns out she had built it herself! She had no teeth and the roof of the boat was decorated with stuffed cats.
I asked where she was header for and she said she didn't know.
Sounds like a future friend for you Nick whistle:
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AN entertaining day at the lock. Highlight was the arrival of a very large and posh looking fibre glass cruiser closely followed by a bizarre home made boat modelled on the Batmobile. Owner/driver was a woman who looked like Catweazle. SHe was heading straight for the cruiser and yelled, "I am new to this, how do I stop?" eeek:
Ropes were thrown noooo:
Turns out she had built it herself! She had no teeth and the roof of the boat was decorated with stuffed cats.
I asked where she was header for and she said she didn't know.
Sounds like a future friend for you Nick whistle:
Sofa virus for sure.
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AN entertaining day at the lock. Highlight was the arrival of a very large and posh looking fibre glass cruiser closely followed by a bizarre home made boat modelled on the Batmobile. Owner/driver was a woman who looked like Catweazle. SHe was heading straight for the cruiser and yelled, "I am new to this, how do I stop?" eeek:
Ropes were thrown noooo:
Turns out she had built it herself! She had no teeth and the roof of the boat was decorated with stuffed cats.
I asked where she was header for and she said she didn't know.
Sounds like a future friend for you Nick whistle:
prolly related to that murdering nut with the home made submarine in Denmark
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AN entertaining day at the lock. Highlight was the arrival of a very large and posh looking fibre glass cruiser closely followed by a bizarre home made boat modelled on the Batmobile. Owner/driver was a woman who looked like Catweazle. SHe was heading straight for the cruiser and yelled, "I am new to this, how do I stop?" eeek:
Ropes were thrown noooo:
Turns out she had built it herself! She had no teeth and the roof of the boat was decorated with stuffed cats.
I asked where she was header for and she said she didn't know.
Sounds like a future friend for you Nick whistle:
More evidence that Nick's position as the Alpha Mook causes like minded minions to flock to him. rubschin:
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First full day. Fabulous and my own pine wood and BBQ cloud9: cloud9:
Doing another full day on Monday cloud9: cloud9:
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I was having special practice with the red buttons, like cloud9:
(https://www.healthrising.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/idiot-button-last-best-cure-series.jpg)
rubschin:
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I had to press the BIG RED EMERGENCY BUTTON today angel1
Some twat trying to impress his girlfriend fell overboard and was going to get sucked through the sluices ::).*
*awaits jokes ::)
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I had to press the BIG RED EMERGENCY BUTTON today angel1
Some twat trying to impress his girlfriend fell overboard and was going to get sucked through the sluices ::).*
*awaits jokes ::)
shutup:
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I had to press the BIG RED EMERGENCY BUTTON today angel1
Some twat trying to impress his girlfriend fell overboard and was going to get sucked through the sluices ::).*
That's original anyway whistle:
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I had to press the BIG RED EMERGENCY BUTTON today angel1
Some twat trying to impress his girlfriend fell overboard and was going to get sucked through the sluices ::).*
happ096 Nick
Please say it's on video
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Sadly not. I had my hands full*
*awaits jokes ::)
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I had to press the BIG RED EMERGENCY BUTTON today angel1
Some twat trying to impress his girlfriend fell overboard and was going to get sucked through the sluices ::).*
*awaits jokes ::)
shutup:
shutup: shutup:
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Helping out at a festival thingy today angel1 angel1
https://www.waterways.org.uk/events_festivals/festival_water/IWA_festival_water (https://www.waterways.org.uk/events_festivals/festival_water/IWA_festival_water)
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Helping out at a festival thingy today angel1 angel1
https://www.waterways.org.uk/events_festivals/festival_water/IWA_festival_water (https://www.waterways.org.uk/events_festivals/festival_water/IWA_festival_water)
Hand quivering over the big red button?
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Helping out at a festival thingy today angel1 angel1
https://www.waterways.org.uk/events_festivals/festival_water/IWA_festival_water (https://www.waterways.org.uk/events_festivals/festival_water/IWA_festival_water)
Hand quivering over the big red button?
IWA? Idiots With Attitude? rubschin:
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My old school bus was there eeek: eeek:
They let me ding the bell cloud9:
(https://s2.postimg.org/4di51ylol/IMG_0693_3.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/4di51ylol/)
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My old school bus was there eeek: eeek:
They let me ding the bell cloud9:
(https://s2.postimg.org/4di51ylol/IMG_0693_3.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/4di51ylol/)
(https://s11.postimg.org/ekmot8or3/Daimler_KPL_petrol-electric_DU_1251.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ekmot8or3/)
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My old school bus was there eeek: eeek:
They let me ding the bell cloud9:
(https://s2.postimg.org/4di51ylol/IMG_0693_3.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/4di51ylol/)
(https://s11.postimg.org/ekmot8or3/Daimler_KPL_petrol-electric_DU_1251.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ekmot8or3/)
I think that that is Mr Darwin, sir's, skool bus. whistle:
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My old school bus was there eeek: eeek:
They let me ding the bell cloud9:
(https://s2.postimg.org/4di51ylol/IMG_0693_3.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/4di51ylol/)
(https://s11.postimg.org/ekmot8or3/Daimler_KPL_petrol-electric_DU_1251.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ekmot8or3/)
I think that that is Mr Darwin, sir's, skool bus. whistle:
School bus?
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A big boy made me say it redface:
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Assessment session with Len, my trainer, on the 5th and I will then be fully qualified cloud9:
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I can now go solo. I have an uniform and everyfink cloud9: cloud9:
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I can now go solo. I have an uniform and everyfink cloud9: cloud9:
scared2:
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angel1
WHat can possibly go wrong?
(https://s26.postimg.org/u0qd0p72d/IMG_0644_1.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/u0qd0p72d/)
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angel1
WHat can possibly go wrong?
(https://s26.postimg.org/u0qd0p72d/IMG_0644_1.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/u0qd0p72d/)
A pink control panel?
Gayer:
Have you been asked for a little tug along the towpath yet?
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angel1
WHat can possibly go wrong?
(https://s26.postimg.org/u0qd0p72d/IMG_0644_1.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/u0qd0p72d/)
A pink control panel?
Gayer:
Have you been asked for a little tug along the towpath yet?
lol: lol: lol:
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Not yet, but my hopes are high eyes: eyes:
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Not yet, but my hopes are high eyes: eyes:
Batwoman...? facepalm:
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whistle:
Oh, I found that feet pic. Too good for you eveilgrin:
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whistle:
Oh, I found that feet pic. Too good for you eveilgrin:
sad32:
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I can now go solo. I have an uniform and everyfink cloud9: cloud9:
It was a proud day for Nick when he was let off the leash and allowed to work the lock solo...
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTcR3ik-I2YKoTvG3KdWrG6G0xYO4uFczFcw1WHIGHEt0v2rJMP)
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And first day going solo is this Saturday cloud9: cloud9:
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And first day going solo is this Saturday cloud9: cloud9:
Excellent, it won't be busy at the weekend or anything like that... Thumbs:
scared2:
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And first day going solo is this Saturday cloud9: cloud9:
Excellent, it won't be busy at the weekend or anything like that... Thumbs:
scared2:
The largest canal based emergency since the Suez you say... scared2:
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Nothing can possibly go wrong angel1
They have even taught me how to tinker with the hydraulic power packs and the mahoosive diesel generator, so there :thumbsup:
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Nothing can possibly go wrong angel1
They have even taught me how to tinker with the hydraulic power packs and the mahoosive diesel generator, so there :thumbsup:
Siphon diesel into the owld Sierra you say...? rubschin:
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rubschin: rubschin: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
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rubschin: rubschin: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Or sell it to passing boats... whistle:
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It is traditional, apparently, for boaters to tip the lockkeeper with a bottle of beer. Apparently busy days can yield a fine harvest :thumbsup: |*|
*don't tell Apey
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It is traditional, apparently, for boaters to tip the lockkeeper with a bottle of beer. Apparently busy days can yield a fine harvest :thumbsup: |*|
*don't tell Apey
They'd tip even more if you sold them a few hundred gallons of diesel at half price... whistle:
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Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
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It is traditional, apparently, for boaters to tip the lockkeeper with a bottle of beer. Apparently busy days can yield a fine harvest :thumbsup: |*|
*don't tell Apey
So cack handed and pissed in charge of a lock.........
What's the worst that could happen..... scared2:
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angel1
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angel1
I rest my case, it's going to me a gubbageddon.... scared2:
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I have my own island, a pass key to every lock in England and an official hat cloud9:
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I have my own island, a pass key to every lock in England and an official hat cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic1.businessinsider.com%2Fimage%2F51b8e89ceab8eaa87d000009%2Fthe-true-origin-of-the-tin-foil-hat-and-why-its-the-stupidest-thing-to-wear-if-youre-paranoid-about-the-government.jpg&hash=e6d96e96dab365042ec14f48a551203ecd3e096d)
rubschin:
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::)
And when I am in charge EVERYONE has to do what I tell them eveilgrin:
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What? I assumed that the 'official' hat was an attempt by the management to reduce the threat of nick-o-rays. noooo:
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cussing:
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Don't tell me you neglected to tell them that you are 'that' Nick... eeek:
This will all end in tears... noooo:
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Len, my guru, gave me top marks cloud9: angel1
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Len, my guru, gave me top marks cloud9: angel1
I never liked canals anyway redface:
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drumroll: evil: evil: evil: evil:
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It is luvverly and I am thinking of "accidentally" running over one of the local pheasants. rubschin:
How do you gut and hang game birds??? rubschin:
(https://s26.postimg.org/6ylm47zph/IMG_0731.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/6ylm47zph/)
-
It is luvverly and I am thinking of "accidentally" running over one of the local pheasants. rubschin:
How do you gut and hang game birds??? rubschin:
(https://s26.postimg.org/6ylm47zph/IMG_0731.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/6ylm47zph/)
Nick vs a pheasant....... rubschin:
I'll have £5 on the pheasant. :thumbsup:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: sad24:
-
What? There are a fair few pheasants down these parts and they are vicious bastards, almost as aggressive as swans. noooo:
-
scared2:
-
scared2:
They can sense fear.... eveilgrin:
-
scared2: scared2:
-
scared2: scared2:
You may be better off hiding in the owld sierra, as long as there isn't too much rust they shouldn't be able to peck their way through... whistle:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
It is traditional, apparently, for boaters to tip the lockkeeper with a bottle of BM's home brew.
whistle:
-
sick2:
That would require a Pollution Hazard Form noooo:
-
It is traditional, apparently, for boaters to tip the lockkeeper with a bottle of BM's home brew.
whistle:
eeek:
-
It is luvverly and I am thinking of "accidentally" running over one of the local pheasants. rubschin:
How do you gut and hang game birds??? rubschin:
(https://s26.postimg.org/6ylm47zph/IMG_0731.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/6ylm47zph/)
PeterSutciffe.com :thumbsup:
-
Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
-
It is luvverly and I am thinking of "accidentally" running over one of the local pheasants. rubschin:
How do you gut and hang game birds??? rubschin:
(https://s26.postimg.org/6ylm47zph/IMG_0731.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/6ylm47zph/)
PeterSutciffe.com :thumbsup:
happy001
-
evil:
-
I see on the local news that there has been a mahoosive explosion a mile upstream of my lock rubschin:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-41335633 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-41335633)
-
I see on the local news that there has been a mahoosive explosion a mile upstream of my lock rubschin:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-41335633 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-41335633)
And you have an alibi?
-
I am not Peter Sellers ::)
-
I am not Peter Sellers ::)
rubschin:
You sure? It might explain so much
-
I have an alleebee angel1
-
It is luvverly and I am thinking of "accidentally" running over one of the local pheasants. rubschin:
How do you gut and hang game birds??? rubschin:
(https://s26.postimg.org/6ylm47zph/IMG_0731.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/6ylm47zph/)
PeterSutciffe.com :thumbsup:
happy001
happy001 happy001
-
evil:
-
I see on the local news that there has been a mahoosive explosion a mile upstream of my lock rubschin:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-41335633 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-41335633)
I have a friend who werks there scared2: scared2:
-
Big day tomorrow cloud9: cloud9: Have my uniform laid out and everyfink angel1 angel1
-
Big day tomorrow cloud9: cloud9: Have my uniform laid out and everyfink angel1 angel1
(https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/ronaldmcdonald/images/0/0a/Original2.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150519061627)
-
Child ::)
-
Big day tomorrow cloud9: cloud9: Have my uniform laid out and everyfink angel1 angel1
(https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/ronaldmcdonald/images/0/0a/Original2.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150519061627)
Do you really think Nick would look that sensible? noooo:
-
A triumph angel1
Killed nobody and got 2 tips eeek: (2 bottles of collapso :thumbsup:)
-
A triumph angel1
Killed nobody and got 2 tips eeek: (2 bottles of collapso :thumbsup:)
cloud9:
-
A triumph angel1
Killed nobody and got 2 tips eeek: (2 bottles of collapso :thumbsup:)
cloud9:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
-
A triumph angel1
Killed nobody and got 2 tips eeek: (2 bottles of collapso :thumbsup:)
I notice you didn't mention any incidents of maiming, mutilation or property damage.... rubschin:
-
A triumph angel1
Killed nobody and got 2 tips eeek: (2 bottles of collapso :thumbsup:)
I notice you didn't mention any incidents of maiming, mutilation or property damage.... rubschin:
Well, he obviously can't comment on anything that is subject to a police investigation... ::)
-
::)
-
Been asked to do an extra day on Friday in recognition of my superb lock keeping skills angel1
-
Kept in detention you say
-
::)
-
Yay, one more sleep and then..........
(https://s1.postimg.org/77uyblb2pn/IMG_0644.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/77uyblb2pn/)
-
Yay, one more sleep and then..........
(https://s1.postimg.org/77uyblb2pn/IMG_0644.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/77uyblb2pn/)
Blunderbirds are go? scared2:
-
cloud9: ::)
-
Parrots confuse aeroplanes with raptors I learnt today when the three of them hid inside my fleece rubschin:
-
Parrots confuse aeroplanes with raptors I learnt today when the three of them hid inside my fleece rubschin:
Aaah
You are their all new hero :thumbsup:
-
angel1 angel1 angel1
-
Mental... whacky115
-
Parrots confuse aeroplanes with raptors I learnt today when the three of them hid inside my fleece rubschin:
Aaah
You are their all new hero :thumbsup:
Either that or they recognised a fellow bird brain.... whistle:
-
ANother day on me island tomorrow cloud9:
The Vicar's daughter is coming for a visit cloud9:
And then buying me dinner cloud9:
-
ANother day on me island tomorrow cloud9:
The Vicar's daughter is coming for a visit cloud9:
And then buying me dinner cloud9:
So clueless one and sensible vicar's daughter, all you need is a foul mouthed perverted boozer and you could have a low budget Father Ted reboot... rubschin:
-
Late substitution tomorrow. Newark in the shadow of the castle cloud9:
-
Late substitution tomorrow. Newark in the shadow of the castle cloud9:
All sounds very Cafe Mozart 3 O'Clock
-
Pity it was the wrong lock redface:
-
Pity it was the wrong lock redface:
point:
-
I ended up being given dodgy directions to an industrial estate full or angry gypsies to a place where a bloke who looked alarmingly like Growler talked at me. He eventually left after he wet himself. noooo:
-
I ended up being given dodgy directions to an industrial estate full or angry gypsies to a place where a bloke who looked alarmingly like Growler talked at me. He eventually left after he wet himself. noooo:
How is Growler...?
-
Damp. sick2:
-
Damp. sick2:
Popcorn:
-
He wet himself and left.
-
He wet himself and left.
facepalm:
-
He wet himself and left.
The Nick effect..... noooo:
-
Training day on some new locks sorted out ready for the new season, like. cloud9:
-
Do you have to be trained for each lock ?
Are the principles / mechanics not similar for each one ???
-
Each one is idiosyncratic. And the one by Newark Castle has some unique features.
-
Oh ok then :thumbsup:
-
angel1
-
Each one is idiosyncratic. And the one by Newark Castle has some unique features.
Ah but does this idiosyncraticism result from your visits? So many buttons to push, so many knobs to twiddle (so to speak)
-
Indeed, but the locks all fill and empty at dramatically different rates and each location has unique features.
-
Each one is idiosyncratic. And the one by Newark Castle has some unique features.
A bit like the lock keepers then...? whistle:
-
::)
-
Nick!
Middlewich canal collapse leaves up to 20 boats stranded (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-43432245)
-
angel1
Doing Easter Sunday and Easter Monday on my own island near Newark to kick the season off with a bang :thumbsup:
-
angel1
Doing Easter Sunday and Easter Monday on my own island near Newark to kick the season off with a bang :thumbsup:
Given your track record I can see that being a literal description... rubschin:
-
Nothing can possibly go wrong angel1
-
Nothing can possibly go wrong angel1
Imminent calamity confirmed doh:
-
evil:
-
angel1
-
Got my uniform all ready, like :thumbsup:
-
Got my uniform all ready, like :thumbsup:
(https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/hWcAAOSw6DtYR-EY/s-l300.jpg)
rubschin:
-
Got my uniform all ready, like :thumbsup:
(https://s18.postimg.org/iewhhoc39/Horatio_Mc_Callister.png) (https://postimg.org/image/iewhhoc39/)
-
Got my uniform all ready, like :thumbsup:
(https://s18.postimg.org/iewhhoc39/Horatio_Mc_Callister.png) (https://postimg.org/image/iewhhoc39/)
:thumbsup:
-
Flood levels on the Trent mean that all the floodgates are closed, so nothing can move. All lock-keeping cancelled sad24:
Have come home to attack the egg that Miss I sent me cloud9: sad24:
-
Sunburnt redface:
-
Sunburnt redface:
There are fees........... cussing:
-
point: point:
-
Sunburnt redface:
Sunburnt egg...? rubschin:
-
Sunburnt redface:
There are fees........... cussing:
It's ok, we've put them on your tab.... whistle:
-
My task tomorrow
https://goo.gl/maps/aNhebBP7EFJ2
(https://goo.gl/maps/aNhebBP7EFJ2)
Last time I was there I met the friendly lonely young widow who lives in this isolated spot rubschin:
She has offered to cook me some lunch rubschin:
-
My task tomorrow
https://goo.gl/maps/aNhebBP7EFJ2
(https://goo.gl/maps/aNhebBP7EFJ2)
Last time I was there I met the friendly lonely young widow who lives in this isolated spot rubschin:
She has offered to cook me some lunch rubschin:
Black Widow... rubschin:
-
My task tomorrow
https://goo.gl/maps/aNhebBP7EFJ2
(https://goo.gl/maps/aNhebBP7EFJ2)
Last time I was there I met the friendly lonely young widow who lives in this isolated spot rubschin:
She has offered to cook me some eels rubschin:
whistle:
sick2:
-
My task tomorrow
https://goo.gl/maps/aNhebBP7EFJ2
(https://goo.gl/maps/aNhebBP7EFJ2)
Last time I was there I met the friendly lonely young widow who lives in this isolated spot rubschin:
She has offered to cook me some lunch rubschin:
Black Widow... rubschin:
rubschin:
-
My task tomorrow
https://goo.gl/maps/aNhebBP7EFJ2
(https://goo.gl/maps/aNhebBP7EFJ2)
Last time I was there I met the friendly lonely young widow who lives in this isolated spot rubschin:
She has offered to cook me some eels rubschin:
whistle:
sick2:
lol: lol: lol:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Had to warn some shady types about speeding today. They weren't happy and abused me eeek:
I have reported them to the CRT angel1
eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
-
Had to warn some shady types about speeding today. They weren't happy and abused me eeek:
I have reported them to the CRT angel1
eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
noooo:
-
I was responding to complaints from other boaters. One person had a bottle of Talisker broken by the size of the wash whistle:
-
I was responding to complaints from other boaters. One person had a bottle of Talisker broken by the size of the wash whistle:
eeek:
-
Zackly!! The speeding boaters were, of course, pissed.
-
I was responding to complaints from other boaters. One person had a bottle of Talisker broken by the size of the wash whistle:
Shocked: Keel-haul the swabs
-
angel1
I had "a word". I had my official hat on :thumbsup:
-
Had to warn some shady types about speeding today. They weren't happy and abused me eeek:
I have reported them to the CRT angel1
eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
What they gonna do, set the eels on them?
-
Suspend their licence? whistle:
Seriously, they were drunken and abusive arseholes. There were radio and phone reports all afternoon. One has to call time sometimes.
-
Suspend their licence? whistle:
Seriously, they were drunken and abusive arseholes. There were radio and phone reports all afternoon. One has to call time sometimes.
What happens if they ignore that and just keep boating?
-
Licence suspended and no more boating. Probation. Licence returned. Another report? Licence withdrawn. No boating.
-
I estimate boat value at about £30K. Can't use it for a year but still pay mooring fees? They were a nasty lot.
-
angel1
I had "a word". I had my official hat on :thumbsup:
(https://s18.postimg.cc/v4o38h65x/dunce-hat-or-cap.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/v4o38h65x/)
whistle:
-
A sunny day at my favourite island tomorrow cloud9:
https://goo.gl/maps/6NcBdfaaVzF2 (https://goo.gl/maps/6NcBdfaaVzF2)
-
A sunny day at my favourite island tomorrow cloud9:
https://goo.gl/maps/6NcBdfaaVzF2 (https://goo.gl/maps/6NcBdfaaVzF2)
:thumbsup:
-
Bizzy day NickSick
A wumman asked me how ducks and swans get through canal locks facepalm:
-
rubschin:
Do they have to have a gander first and them get a man "der" in in ???
lol:
-
I gently explained noooo:
-
Bizzy day NickSick
A wumman asked me how ducks and swans get through canal locks facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
-
My favourite lock tomorrow cloud9:
-
My favourite lock tomorrow cloud9:
Headlock?
Something Rugby related?
-
::)
-
My favourite lock tomorrow cloud9:
(https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/EKcAAOxygPtS1kh8/s-l500.jpg)
noooo:
-
My favourite lock tomorrow cloud9:
Headlock?
Something Rugby related?
Lock Jaw...? rubschin:
-
Have kindly volunteered to look after Nether Lock on Monday sick2: angel1
Note the horrid scrapyard, stinky sugar beet factory, arterial road and two noisy railway lines noooo:
Everyone hates it.
https://goo.gl/maps/6r3L6BV1Ar72
(https://goo.gl/maps/6r3L6BV1Ar72)
-
Have kindly volunteered to look after Nether Lock on Monday sick2: angel1
Note the horrid scrapyard, stinky sugar beet factory, arterial road and two noisy railway lines noooo:
Everyone hates it.
https://goo.gl/maps/6r3L6BV1Ar72
(https://goo.gl/maps/6r3L6BV1Ar72)
Well I've heard of some strange stuff appearing in Nether regions but never a sugar beet factory eeek:
-
Child ::)
Still, I get me own island, like, and I am in charge (in my new posh uniform, like) cloud9:
-
Child ::)
Still, I get me own island, like, and I am in charge (in my new posh uniform, like) cloud9:
(https://s33.postimg.cc/hqxl7gs5n/Horatio_Mc_Callister.png) (https://postimg.cc/image/hqxl7gs5n/)
-
cloud9: cloud9:
-
Have kindly volunteered to look after Nether Lock on Monday sick2: angel1
Note the horrid scrapyard, stinky sugar beet factory, arterial road and two noisy railway lines noooo:
Everyone hates it.
https://goo.gl/maps/6r3L6BV1Ar72
(https://goo.gl/maps/6r3L6BV1Ar72)
Well I've heard of some strange stuff appearing in Nether regions but never a sugar beet factory eeek:
At least it wasn't a crab farm... whistle:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Interestingly, there is a nearby enterprise called Cox Up Events Ltd. nearby I notice. whistle:
-
evil:
-
Interestingly, there is a nearby enterprise called Cox Up Events Ltd. nearby I notice. whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
-
evil: evil:
-
Interestingly, there is a nearby enterprise called Cox Up Events Ltd. nearby I notice. whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
evil: evil: evil: evil:
Anyhoo, a splendid sunny day with tons of boats and lots of bikini-clad totty :thumbsup:
-
evil: evil: evil: evil:
Anyhoo, a splendid sunny day with tons of boats and lots of bikini-clad totty :thumbsup:
:thumbsup:
-
Interestingly, there is a nearby enterprise called Cox Up Events Ltd. nearby I notice. whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
evil:
-
Stoke Bardolph tomorrow cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
-
10 a.m the phone rings
Hello
Hello Mr Nick. Are you OK?
I'm fine, how are you?
Fine.
What can I do for you?
You are meant to be manning the lock at Newark!
eeek:
redface:
-
And I am doing another day tomorrow noooo: My feet hurt. sad24:
-
noooo:
-
noooo:
noooo: noooo:
-
I cocked up my diary cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
I cocked up my diary cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
It happens
How many boats in the queue when you got there?
-
11 redface:
-
11 redface:
noooo:
-
redface:
-
I cocked up my diary cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
But, but, but you never cock anything up.... whistle:
-
I cocked up my diary cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Get a wumman in! :thumbsup:
-
Had some nutters today, including a "pirate" ship with life size plastic human skeletons wielding swords and an 80 year old in a canoe who said he was on the way to Oxford!! eeek:
-
Had some nutters today, including a "pirate" ship with life size plastic human skeletons wielding swords and an 80 year old in a canoe who said he was on the way to Oxford!! eeek:
Like minds attract you say... rubschin:
-
Newark tomorrow.
May need an early night redface:
-
Newark tomorrow.
May need an early night redface:
Are you sure it wasn't today? rubschin:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Today's weirdo:
Radio crackles
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Betsy Bell, this is Nether Lock, over
Silence
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Betsy Bell, this is Nether Lock, over
Silence
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Betsy Bell, this is Nether Lock, just enter the lock please over
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Eventually he enters thoe lock and I go out to speak to him. He is staring at me intently
Me: I did reply to your radio calls but you seemed not to hear me
Him: I am completely deaf (he is lipreading)
facepalm:
I send him on his way
Half an hour later I hear
Cromwell Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle............. facepalm: facepalm:
-
Today's weirdo:
Radio crackles
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Betsy Bell, this is Nether Lock, over
Silence
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Betsy Bell, this is Nether Lock, over
Silence
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Betsy Bell, this is Nether Lock, just enter the lock please over
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Eventually he enters thoe lock and I go out to speak to him. He is staring at me intently
Me: I did reply to your radio calls but you seemed not to hear me
Him: I am completely deaf (he is lipreading)
facepalm:
I send him on his way
Half an hour later I hear
Cromwell Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle............. facepalm: facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Today's weirdo:
Radio crackles
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Betsy Bell, this is Nether Lock, over
Silence
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Betsy Bell, this is Nether Lock, over
Silence
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Betsy Bell, this is Nether Lock, just enter the lock please over
Nether Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle, over
Eventually he enters thoe lock and I go out to speak to him. He is staring at me intently
Me: I did reply to your radio calls but you seemed not to hear me
Him: I am completely deaf (he is lipreading)
facepalm:
I send him on his way
Half an hour later I hear
Cromwell Lock, this is narrow boat Betsy Belle............. facepalm: facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Got to my luvly lock this morning and some idiots had broken in the kitchen. The fridge only contains lots of little UHT milk capsule things which they had used to have a fvkng MILK FIGHT. The mess was unbelievable cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Got to my luvly lock this morning and some idiots had broken in the kitchen. The fridge only contains lots of little UHT milk capsule things which they had used to have a fvkng MILK FIGHT. The mess was unbelievable cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Just how pissed were you and Nod the other day? rubschin:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
No need to get all shirty, I just figured that if I could somehow eliminate the unlikely lads as suspects it would go a long way to find out who was responsible... noooo:
-
Got to my luvly lock this morning and some idiots had broken in the kitchen. The fridge only contains lots of little UHT milk capsule things which they had used to have a fvkng MILK FIGHT. The mess was unbelievable cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
noooo: noooo: noooo:
not good
-
Yes, I had to have black coffee all day cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Nether Lock tomorrow: the unloved ginger child of the waterways noooo: *
Awaits ginger jokes ::)
-
Nether Lock tomorrow: the unloved ginger child of the waterways noooo: *
Awaits ginger jokes ::)
You really think we are going to tempt fate that badly by using obvious jokes today of all days.... eeek:
Well Apey and Baldymort might be daft enough... rubschin:
-
angel1
-
There really are some dozy buggers on the Canals... noooo:
http://youtu.be/0l935Kgt-HM (http://youtu.be/0l935Kgt-HM)
I know its wrong and it makes me a bad person but happy001 happy001 happy001
-
There really are some dozy buggers on the Canals... noooo:
http://youtu.be/0l935Kgt-HM (http://youtu.be/0l935Kgt-HM)
I know its wrong and it makes me a bad person but happy001 happy001 happy001
happy002 happy002 happy002
-
Newark has a lot of such problems with pikey yoofs acting like twats.
One jumped off a bridge and landed on the prow of a boat and castrated himself eeek:
He tried to sue the boat owner facepalm:
-
Newark has a lot of such problems with pikey yoofs acting like twats.
One jumped off a bridge and landed on the prow of a boat and castrated himself eeek:
He tried to sue the boat owner facepalm:
Mr Darwin sir works in mysterious ways.... lol:
-
There really are some dozy buggers on the Canals... noooo:
http://youtu.be/0l935Kgt-HM (http://youtu.be/0l935Kgt-HM)
I know its wrong and it makes me a bad person but happy001 happy001 happy001
happy002 happy002 happy002
happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002
-
There really are some dozy buggers on the Canals... noooo:
http://youtu.be/0l935Kgt-HM (http://youtu.be/0l935Kgt-HM)
I know its wrong and it makes me a bad person but happy001 happy001 happy001
happy002 happy002 happy002
happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002
happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002
-
Gunthorpe cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
-
Gunthorpe cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
It'll be hot... noooo:
-
Cooler here today, and my island has a nice pine wood, so it is shady cloud9:
-
Cooler here today, and my island has a nice pine wood, so it is shady cloud9:
(https://s8.postimg.cc/6ys6mi9gh/maxresdefault.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/6ys6mi9gh/)
noooo:
-
Leaving the lock tonight, I was informed that someone had had a "serious attack of the shits in the men's showers." Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
I double locked the showers and left the site angel1
-
noooo: noooo: noooo:
-
Leaving the lock tonight, I was informed that someone had had a "serious attack of the shits in the men's showers." Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
I double locked the showers and left the site angel1
Given your track record so far we are going to be entertained no end when that comes back to bite you in the ass... point:
-
There are cleaning contractors for such things ::)
-
There are cleaning contractors for such things ::)
Shit stirrers you say
-
Rather them than me! :thumbsup:
-
I bet they've seen worse
-
I hope they have those Bio-protection suits sick2:
-
The weirs on the Trent are protected by booms made of orange plastic barrel-sized floats linked together. They are there to warn boats not to approach and to prevent them going over the weir.
I noticed yesterday that the one at Stoke Bardolph cloud9: is damaged. I wondered why.
It seems a large cruiser moored above the lock caught fire (the day AFTER I was last there angel1 ). Fire brigade called but no access along towpath for fire engine, so they rigged up some sort of pump for river water, but couldn't make much of an impact. Fearing for the fate of adjacent boats they cut the blazing boat adrift and it set off for the weir where it lodged on the boom and, well, went BOOM. The damage is phenomenal :thumbsup: I gather the BOOM as the diesel tank went up was heard about a mile away razz:
It sounds like a complete clusterfuck! noooo: smile:
-
The weirs on the Trent are protected by booms made of orange plastic barrel-sized floats linked together. They are there to warn boats not to approach and to prevent them going over the weir.
I noticed yesterday that the one at Stoke Bardolph cloud9: is damaged. I wondered why.
It seems a large cruiser moored above the lock caught fire (the day AFTER I was last there angel1 ). Fire brigade called but no access along towpath for fire engine, so they rigged up some sort of pump for river water, but couldn't make much of an impact. Fearing for the fate of adjacent boats they cut the blazing boat adrift and it set off for the weir where it lodged on the boom and, well, went BOOM. The damage is phenomenal :thumbsup: I gather the BOOM as the diesel tank went up was heard about a mile away razz:
It sounds like a complete clusterfuck! noooo: smile:
Magnificent, they should have sold tickets
How lucky you have an alibi (or do you?)
-
angel1
The fire mob were in a cleft stick, but sending a burning boat full of diesel down the river on a hot and busy day in the manner of a Viking funeral apparently seemed the best option ;D ;D ;D
-
angel1
The fire mob were in a cleft stick, but sending a burning boat full of diesel down the river on a hot and busy day in the manner of a Viking funeral apparently seemed the best option ;D ;D ;D
:thumbsup:
Shame no one took a video of it
-
rubschin: rubschin:
-
The weirs on the Trent are protected by booms made of orange plastic barrel-sized floats linked together. They are there to warn boats not to approach and to prevent them going over the weir.
I noticed yesterday that the one at Stoke Bardolph cloud9: is damaged. I wondered why.
It seems a large cruiser moored above the lock caught fire (the day AFTER I was last there angel1 ). Fire brigade called but no access along towpath for fire engine, so they rigged up some sort of pump for river water, but couldn't make much of an impact. Fearing for the fate of adjacent boats they cut the blazing boat adrift and it set off for the weir where it lodged on the boom and, well, went BOOM. The damage is phenomenal :thumbsup: I gather the BOOM as the diesel tank went up was heard about a mile away razz:
It sounds like a complete clusterfuck! noooo: smile:
Magnificent, they should have sold tickets
How lucky you have an alibi (or do you?)
That depends on what day they moored up in the first place, it could have been a delayed gubbage... rubschin:
-
Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.
5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.
He came to me and complained facepalm:
-
Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.
5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.
He came to me and complained facepalm:
Mr Darwin is getting very lax lately. Another fuckwith survivor of stupidity could ruin the whole human race
-
Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.
5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.
He came to me and complained facepalm:
Mr Darwin is getting very lax lately. Another fuckwith survivor of stupidity could ruin the whole human race
The best laid plans of mice and Mr Darwin sir are often bollixed up by the presence of Nick... noooo:
-
Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.
5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.
He came to me and complained facepalm:
Mr Darwin is getting very lax lately. Another fuckwith survivor of stupidity could ruin the whole human race
The best laid plans of mice and Mr Darwin sir are often bollixed up by the presence of Nick... noooo:
The barge folk rescued him! cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it Banghead Banghead Banghead
-
Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it Banghead Banghead Banghead
point:
-
Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it Banghead Banghead Banghead
point:
point: point:
-
Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it Banghead Banghead Banghead
point:
point: point:
point: point: point:
-
Back! NickSick
Near disaster today. The locks I work on are very big and are controlled hydraulically. They also have traffic lights!
Today I had five very large (sea-going) fibre glass cruisers (c. £150000 each) in the lock. I had set a red light for a large steel Dutch Barge approaching from the other direction. The deaf, blind and senile clown in the barge IGNORED the red light and attempted to enter the lock as the 5 cruisers were coming out scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:
People in the lock were actually screaming. eeek:
I told them all to stop and told him to reverse. They went off and I had a VERY LONG AND STERN CONVERSATION with barge man eveilgrin:
-
Back! NickSick
Near disaster today. The locks I work on are very big and are controlled hydraulically. They also have traffic lights!
Today I had five very large (sea-going) fibre glass cruisers (c. £150000 each) in the lock. I had set a red light for a large steel Dutch Barge approaching from the other direction. The deaf, blind and senile clown in the barge IGNORED the red light and attempted to enter the lock as the 5 cruisers were coming out scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:
People in the lock were actually screaming. eeek:
I told them all to stop and told him to reverse. They went off and I had a VERY LONG AND STERN CONVERSATION with barge man eveilgrin:
rubschin: ratarsed bargeman?
-
Stupid! He claimed there should have been an explanatory sign by the red light to clarify that it meant STOP facepalm:
-
Stupid! He claimed there should have been an explanatory sign by the red light to clarify that it meant STOP facepalm:
Well if he was Dutch he might have thought it meant this:
(https://media.cntraveller.in/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/amsterdam-red-light-district-lead-866x487.jpg)
-
He was a brummy Banghead Banghead Banghead
-
He was a brummy Banghead Banghead Banghead
say no more
-
There is a procedure. I have reported him (and told him I was doing so). He was bewildered. noooo:
-
I have now googled Dutch Barge and am now one iota less ignorant than wot I was
-
They are enormous, hefty and made of steel!!
-
What is up with that kid's head? eeek:
-
What is up with that kid's head? eeek:
shrugs: confused2:
-
What is up with that kid's head? eeek:
shrugs: confused2:
See his FaceArse post Uncle... whistle:
-
What is up with that kid's head? eeek:
shrugs: confused2:
See his FaceArse post Uncle... whistle:
Thought you'd given that up
-
What is up with that kid's head? eeek:
shrugs: confused2:
See his FaceArse post Uncle... whistle:
Thought you'd given that up
Pretty much... See my FaceArse thread for explanation...
-
Was training up a friend's 5 year old daughter today. angel1
More days at me lock on Sunday and Monday.
-
What is up with that kid's head? eeek:
shrugs: confused2:
SHe's adopted so they keep her face off the internet. Been there, done that noooo:
-
Dead day today noooo:
Going there again tomorrow noooo:
-
Dead day today noooo:
Going there again tomorrow noooo:
Is it in any way linked to the fact that you are the lock keeper...? rubschin:
-
No, you mong. And to make matters worse, anticipating a busy weekend there are two of us there tomorrow, so I have to spend the day in a hut with some fat, old bearded bloke cussing:
-
No, you mong. And to make matters worse, anticipating a busy weekend there are two of us there tomorrow, so I have to spend the day in a hut with some fat, old bearded bloke cussing:
Or a mirror... ::)
-
I'll set them up and you'll horn:
-
I'll set them up and you'll horn:
Indeed... redface:
-
I think we need the view from fat, old bearded bloke.
Oh look
Oh hell it's the man that kills boilers, PLEASE tell me it isn't catching now the cold wet weather is here, it was bad enough when he left all that shit in the showers
-
He was a retired accountant with some new hobbies in his retirement including "folk dancing" ::) and playing the recorder (and various sizes thereof). Fortunately he had them in his car and he "entertained" me with his sea shanties. Banghead Banghead
I was fit to kill by lunchtime. cussing: cussing: cussing:
It was a quiet day so I forced him to leave early and leave it to me angel1
-
Must post some more boat pics. There are some stunners :thumbsup:
(https://s8.postimg.cc/5ictdnaoh/IMG_1213.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/5ictdnaoh/)
-
He was a retired accountant with some new hobbies in his retirement including "folk dancing" ::) and playing the recorder (and various sizes thereof). Fortunately he had them in his car and he "entertained" me with his sea shanties. Banghead Banghead
I was fit to kill by lunchtime. cussing: cussing: cussing:
It was a quiet day so I forced him to leave early and leave it to me angel1
It never fails, 'entertain' the dozy bugger that I'm saddled with and they soon tell me I can knock off early... whistle:
noooo:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Must post some more boat pics. There are some stunners :thumbsup:
(https://s8.postimg.cc/5ictdnaoh/IMG_1213.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/5ictdnaoh/)
Oh yes, please post more.... tunble:
-
:thumbsup:
-
Must post some more boat pics. There are some stunners :thumbsup:
(https://s8.postimg.cc/5ictdnaoh/IMG_1213.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/5ictdnaoh/)
Oh yes, please post more.... tunble:
You notice he is only showing the 'before' pics... rubschin:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Must post some more boat pics. There are some stunners :thumbsup:
(https://s8.postimg.cc/5ictdnaoh/IMG_1213.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/5ictdnaoh/)
Oh yes, please post more.... tunble:
You notice he is only showing the 'before' pics... rubschin:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Busy day! I am cream-crackered. NickSick
Doing it all again tomorrow...............
-
Must post some more boat pics. There are some stunners :thumbsup:
(https://s8.postimg.cc/5ictdnaoh/IMG_1213.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/5ictdnaoh/)
Oh yes, please post more.... tunble:
You notice he is only showing the 'before' pics... rubschin:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Must post some more boat pics. There are some stunners :thumbsup:
(https://s8.postimg.cc/5ictdnaoh/IMG_1213.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/5ictdnaoh/)
Oh yes, please post more.... tunble:
You notice he is only showing the 'before' pics... rubschin:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
::)
Anyhoo, a day of top totty, yummy mummies and bikinis cloud9:
redface:
-
Wot no pics? evil:
-
I do not wish to be arrested angel1
-
I have been selected to receive an award for my excellent volunteering services cloud9: cloud9:
Apparently, my new Canal and River Trust coffee mug is in the post......
-
I have been selected to receive an award for my excellent volunteering services cloud9: cloud9:
Apparently, my new Canal and River Trust coffee mug is in the post......
Awwwww.... pathead:
-
WHole weekend of
(https://s33.postimg.cc/gz7ssg21n/Horatio_Mc_Callister.png) (https://postimages.org/)
-
WHole weekend of
(https://s33.postimg.cc/gz7ssg21n/Horatio_Mc_Callister.png) (https://postimages.org/)
PEnury...?
-
sad32: sad32: sad32:
-
sad32: sad32: sad32:
Still you'll soon be getting a mug to drink your tea out of, that jam jar will soon be history
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Do you think that the tourists going by on their canal trips think he is some kind of local attraction? The Loon of the Lock as it were.. rubschin:
-
I am so trusted now that I have a laydee trainee tomorrow angel1
-
I am so trusted now that I have a laydee trainee tomorrow angel1
Laydee trainee = My carer... whistle:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
I am so trusted now that I have a laydee trainee tomorrow angel1
Munter for sure
-
I have met her. Hot Polish lass in tight jeans. I am bringing choc biscuits angel1 angel1
-
I have met her. Hot Polish lass in tight jeans. I am bringing choc biscuits angel1 angel1
:thumbsup: sounds more like kleenex: needed though
-
angel1
-
I am so trusted now that I have a laydee trainee tomorrow angel1
Laydee trainee = My carer... whistle:
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
I am so trusted = They think I'm far far far to old for that kind of thing, hence the carer... whistle:
-
I have met her. Hot Polish lass in tight jeans. I am bringing choc biscuits angel1 angel1
Are you hoping she's a dunker?
-
I have met her. Hot Polish lass in tight jeans. I am bringing choc biscuits angel1 angel1
Are you hoping she's a dunker?
drumroll:
-
::) ::)
She couldn't make it, but this did!!!!
(https://s33.postimg.cc/jidallga3/IMG_1287.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/jidallga3/)
Beautiful and in immaculate condition, but better still
(https://s33.postimg.cc/49nd7yccr/IMG_1288.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/49nd7yccr/)
"Dunkirk 1940" cloud9:
-
::) ::)
She couldn't make it, but this did!!!!
(https://s33.postimg.cc/jidallga3/IMG_1287.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/jidallga3/)
Beautiful and in immaculate condition, but better still
(https://s33.postimg.cc/49nd7yccr/IMG_1288.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/49nd7yccr/)
"Dunkirk 1940" cloud9:
:thumbsup:
-
::) ::)
She couldn't make it, but this did!!!!
(https://s33.postimg.cc/jidallga3/IMG_1287.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/jidallga3/)
Beautiful and in immaculate condition, but better still
(https://s33.postimg.cc/49nd7yccr/IMG_1288.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/image/49nd7yccr/)
"Dunkirk 1940" cloud9:
cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
-
Tomorrow is the end-of-season river boat trip with free lunch and a bar. It is like a Captain Birdseye lookalike competition noooo: noooo:
-
Tomorrow is the end-of-season river boat trip with free lunch and a bar. It is like a Captain Birdseye lookalike competition noooo: noooo:
The only time of the year your straggly beard looks trendy you say... rubschin:
-
Tomorrow is the end-of-season river boat trip with free lunch and a bar. It is like a Captain Birdseye lookalike competition noooo: noooo:
The only time of the year your straggly beard looks trendy you say... rubschin:
The only time a ginger lefty doesn't look out of place! lol:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Got a ceremonial presentation of my coffee mug today cloud9:
-
Got a ceremonial presentation of my coffee mug today cloud9:
So did BM
(https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/sites/14/2016/05/coffee-spilled-keyboard.jpg)
-
Got a ceremonial presentation of my coffee mug today cloud9:
So did BM
(https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/sites/14/2016/05/coffee-spilled-keyboard.jpg)
evil:
-
Got a ceremonial presentation of my coffee mug today cloud9:
So did BM
(https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/sites/14/2016/05/coffee-spilled-keyboard.jpg)
If only I was that lucky. I don't know what but I must have done something truly horrific in a past iteration to be landed with this bucket fetishist... sad24:
noooo:
-
Got a ceremonial presentation of my coffee mug today cloud9:
So did BM
(https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/sites/14/2016/05/coffee-spilled-keyboard.jpg)
If only I was that lucky. I don't know what but I must have done something truly horrific in a past iteration to be landed with this bucket fetishist... sad24:
noooo:
And I was going to give you credit for suggesting a refurbished machine... evil:
-
Got a ceremonial presentation of my coffee mug today cloud9:
So did BM
(https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/sites/14/2016/05/coffee-spilled-keyboard.jpg)
If only I was that lucky. I don't know what but I must have done something truly horrific in a past iteration to be landed with this bucket fetishist... sad24:
noooo:
And I was going to give you credit for suggesting a refurbished machine... evil:
Well Nick was starting to feel picked on so I had to spread the mickey taking around some... angel1
-
Miss I texts to say that she loves me very much. cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: sad24:
May have to get on a plane soon rubschin:
-
Miss I texts to say that she loves me very much. cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: sad24:
May have to get on a plane soon rubschin:
(https://i.postimg.cc/67fLhTzD/71zsdz-BVLa-L-SX466.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/67fLhTzD)
rubschin:
-
Miss I texts to say that she loves me very much. cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: sad24:
May have to get on a plane soon rubschin:
(https://i.postimg.cc/67fLhTzD/71zsdz-BVLa-L-SX466.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/67fLhTzD)
rubschin:
Quite so, you tell him.
All those literary airs and graces count for nothing in the end.
angel1
-
evil:
-
Got a ceremonial presentation of my coffee mug today cloud9:
So did BM
(https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/sites/14/2016/05/coffee-spilled-keyboard.jpg)
lol: lol: lol:
-
Miss I texts to say that she loves me very much. cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: sad24:
May have to get on a plane soon rubschin:
(https://i.postimg.cc/67fLhTzD/71zsdz-BVLa-L-SX466.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/67fLhTzD)
rubschin:
Nick with tools would end up being a real life Reg Prescott.... noooo:
-
Suez.... rubschin: rubschin:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Suez.... rubschin: rubschin:
(https://i.postimg.cc/fJhnv92w/suez.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/fJhnv92w)
-
Suez.... rubschin: rubschin:
(https://i.postimg.cc/fJhnv92w/suez.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/fJhnv92w)
happy001
-
evil:
Watched Miss I's online yoga class earlier on Zoom
kleenex: redface:
-
Caption this?
(https://scontent-man2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/165702212_1363482577351015_5146213085647609474_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=825194&_nc_ohc=Km4XL_-hW84AX8552yL&_nc_ht=scontent-man2-1.xx&oh=02cf4dc8e67db7a1b3a051a53e9b74db&oe=6086F778)
-
It's more common than you might think (especially after "lunch" ::) ) noooo:
-
In general, boaters are pretty laid back and in no rush, but there are nutters.
It is noticeable that, since the start of last year's lockdowns, there are many more incidents of us poor lock keepers being abused and threatened. It is starting to get quite ugly.
Today we have been told that we are being issued with bodycams to deter thugs or to record incidents eeek:
What is the world coming to?
-
In general, boaters are pretty laid back and in no rush, but there are nutters.
It is noticeable that, since the start of last year's lockdowns, there are many more incidents of us poor lock keepers being abused and threatened. It is starting to get quite ugly.
Today we have been told that we are being issued with bodycams to deter thugs or to record incidents eeek:
What is the world coming to?
noooo: noooo: Where to start ... rubschin: education ...discipline ..respect ...?
-
In general, boaters are pretty laid back and in no rush, but there are nutters.
It is noticeable that, since the start of last year's lockdowns, there are many more incidents of us poor lock keepers being abused and threatened. It is starting to get quite ugly.
Today we have been told that we are being issued with bodycams to deter thugs or to record incidents eeek:
What is the world coming to?
noooo: noooo: noooo:
-
Standing orders now ("Lone Working Procedures"): If threatened or abused, close the lock and leave
-
Standing orders now ("Lone Working Procedures"): If threatened or abused, close the lock and leave
With them IN it ..... rubschin:.......... whistle:
-
YES :thumbsup:
-
YES :thumbsup:
:thumbsup:
-
Illegal (unlicensed) anglers are also a problem. Instructions are to call Environment Agency enforcers. They wear stab vests and have powers of arrest! eeek:
-
In general, boaters are pretty laid back and in no rush, but there are nutters.
It is noticeable that, since the start of last year's lockdowns, there are many more incidents of us poor lock keepers being abused and threatened. It is starting to get quite ugly.
Today we have been told that we are being issued with bodycams to deter thugs or to record incidents eeek:
What is the world coming to?
Demand a Taser! eveilgrin:
-
In general, boaters are pretty laid back and in no rush, but there are nutters.
It is noticeable that, since the start of last year's lockdowns, there are many more incidents of us poor lock keepers being abused and threatened. It is starting to get quite ugly.
Today we have been told that we are being issued with bodycams to deter thugs or to record incidents eeek:
What is the world coming to?
Demand a Taser! eveilgrin:
You want to give Nick a taser?? eeek:
-
In general, boaters are pretty laid back and in no rush, but there are nutters.
It is noticeable that, since the start of last year's lockdowns, there are many more incidents of us poor lock keepers being abused and threatened. It is starting to get quite ugly.
Today we have been told that we are being issued with bodycams to deter thugs or to record incidents eeek:
What is the world coming to?
Demand a Taser! eveilgrin:
You want to give Nick a taser?? eeek:
I'm 2,000 miles away... whistle:
-
In general, boaters are pretty laid back and in no rush, but there are nutters.
It is noticeable that, since the start of last year's lockdowns, there are many more incidents of us poor lock keepers being abused and threatened. It is starting to get quite ugly.
Today we have been told that we are being issued with bodycams to deter thugs or to record incidents eeek:
What is the world coming to?
Demand a Taser! eveilgrin:
You want to give Nick a taser?? eeek:
I'm 2,000 miles away... whistle:
A VP telethon to raise money for a one way Ticket to Cyprus for Nick you say... eveilgrin:
-
In general, boaters are pretty laid back and in no rush, but there are nutters.
It is noticeable that, since the start of last year's lockdowns, there are many more incidents of us poor lock keepers being abused and threatened. It is starting to get quite ugly.
Today we have been told that we are being issued with bodycams to deter thugs or to record incidents eeek:
What is the world coming to?
Demand a Taser! eveilgrin:
You want to give Nick a taser?? eeek:
I'm 2,000 miles away... whistle:
A VP telethon to raise money for a one way Ticket to Cyprus for Nick you say... eveilgrin:
Shocked:
-
In general, boaters are pretty laid back and in no rush, but there are nutters.
It is noticeable that, since the start of last year's lockdowns, there are many more incidents of us poor lock keepers being abused and threatened. It is starting to get quite ugly.
Today we have been told that we are being issued with bodycams to deter thugs or to record incidents eeek:
What is the world coming to?
Demand a Taser! eveilgrin:
Or fill a jif lemon bottle with Olbas oil and spray in their eyes ... Thumbs: they will think it is bleach coz it burns ...and can't open them for a while ...
or so I am told .. whistle:
-
Fortunately, each lock has a boat hook. Long, heavy with a big iron spike on the end eveilgrin:
-
Fortunately, each lock has a boat hook. Long, heavy with a big iron spike on the end eveilgrin:
I was going the subtle approach ..... eeek:
-
Fortunately, each lock has a boat hook. Long, heavy with a big iron spike on the end eveilgrin:
I was going the subtle approach ..... eeek:
Subtle or bargain basement..? whistle: